


Flirting with Desire

by Sirius Ordo (tpdlady306), tpdlady306



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Consensual, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2018-04-06 14:00:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 64,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4224414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tpdlady306/pseuds/Sirius%20Ordo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tpdlady306/pseuds/tpdlady306
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story starts directly after the trooper quest, "Return to Duty" and is a consequence of my trooper flirting with SIS Agent Jonas Balkar. Be warned the first chapter is rated for smut and lemons. It moves forward from there and will cover various aspects of the trooper story line, including spoilers for the Gauntlet. Aric Jorgan/Female Trooper</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place directly after you finish the trooper quest “Return to Duty” on Tattoine. As K’agan was flirting with Balkar, my husband came up behind me and said, “You’re doing that on purpose, to make Jorgan jealous.” I grinned. Of course he was right! That got me to thinking about what would happen next back on the ship and this fic is the result. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> This is unbeta’d and all mistakes are mine.  
> Warning: This is smut! If you don’t like, don’t read! You’ve been warned.

‘Gods!’ I thought as I took off my gloves, stuffed them into my helm and threw them both into my locker, ‘I hate that prick!’ 

We had just finished a successful mission on Tattoine, picking up a SIS agent returning from a deep cover assignment inside the Empire. He apparently had top secret information vital for the Republic’s war hopes. We headed out to the agent’s downed ship, took care of the Imperials and brought the agent in. After unfastening my bracers, they followed my helm into the locker. The only problem in the whole mission…was dealing with Agent Jonas Balkar.

Ripping open the clasps on my chest armor, I threw it into the locker with the other pieces. Just thinking about the jerk pissed me off. Sitting down, I pulled my boots off and put them in the bottom with all the force I could muster. Still didn’t make me feel better. Standing I quickly shed my leg armor and threw it into the locker on top of everything else, leaving me standing in a sweat stained sleeveless tank and light pants I wore under my armor. The jerk took every opportunity to flirt with the Captain, what made it worse was this time she started it. 

**“Congratulations on the promotion by the way. How does it feel to be so big and important?” Balkar asked her.**

**"I tell people what I want and they do it.”**

**"I knew I should have signed up for the Army,”** he said, as I was forced to watch him drool as she swayed those hips.

When I called him on the flirting he called me jealous! Ass!

**"You may be jealous but you’re also right. We need to get moving on this one.”**

At least he admitted that much. Grabbing a towel and my kit, I slammed my locker closed and headed for the ‘fresher. I needed to wash off the sweat, grime and sand. Maybe cool off a bit too. 

Stripping, I quickly stepped under into the shower and let the cool water sooth my muscles. The whole thing just made me nuts. On Nar Shaada I had been forced to stand around and listen to the pair flirt and there was nothing I could do about it. At the time, then Lieutenant K’agan and I were just forming our tentative friendship and learning to work together. Was I attracted to her even then? Hell yeah! She was absolutely gorgeous and it was the first thing I noticed about her on Ord Mantell. Big blue eyes, long eye lashes, gray hair pulled back in rows, ample breasts, tiny waist, full hips and long luscious legs which seemed to go on forever. That she was Cathar was just an added bonus.

“Gaaa,” I reached out and turned the water cooler. It suddenly seemed to get hotter in here. Picking up the bar of soap I started to lather up.

No way was I endangering my career, the new squad and our friendship by hitting on her back then, so I was forced to stand by and watch Balkar flirt with her and hit on her. It nearly killed me at the end of the mission when she left the Thunderclap for drinks with the sleaze at his place. I knew what was going on but there was nothing I could do about it. That time…

When we were told to meet Agent Balkar on Tattoine, I figured it would be different. Though we kept it quiet, K’agan and I had tentatively started a relationship. Flirting, soft touches, and stolen kisses in the armory had developed into dates and culminated in a memorable evening in her quarters when the rest of the crew was off ship. While it was still new, we had a romantic relationship this time and I never figured I would have to stand by and listen to her flirt with another man in front of me again. 

**“Ahhh Captain, you brighten my day, fatten my bank account and gun down Imps like maimed Banthas. Marry me when this war is over?”**

I wanted to punch his lights out! Damn him!

**"We’ll stick to drinks for now. You know how to find me,”** she told him seductively while licking her lips and swaying her hips.

Like hell! I nearly grabbed her right then and there. I wanted to pull her to me, kiss her senseless, showing everyone exactly who she belonged too and it was not that scum sucking SIS agent! 

Turning off the water, I stepped out of the shower, grabbed my towel and started vigorously drying off. Just thinking of about it, I was getting angrier by the nanosecond.

**"Sounds like a plan.”**

Over my cold dead body!! If I had my way that scum would never see her again, for drinks or anything else he could think up. I quickly dried off and pulled on a pair of boxer briefs and a clean pair of light weight pants. I yanked the door open and stepped out. Just as I passed the Captain’s quarters the door opened and there was the woman starring in my thoughts now. 

With a wicked smirk, K’agan said, “Just need to send a holo to Jonas,” as she started to step around me. 

‘Oh like hell…” I growled and pulled her to me. Leaning down I kissed her. It was anything but gentle. I was demanding and marking my territory. She was mine. Wrapping one arm around her waist and the other arm I held the back of her head and pulled her tight against me. As she moaned, I slipped my tongue in her mouth and deepened the kiss, not giving either of us a second. Finally, it was the need for air, which made me break the kiss, though I didn’t release my hold on her. 

Pulling out of my grasp, she grabbed my arm, pulled me into her quarters, locked the door behind her and leaned against it for a bit. I watched her look at me up and down, taking her time as she took in the state of my lower half, pushing against my light pants. With a sexy smile, she stood up and walked towards me. She put her hand on my cheek and slowly dragged it down my neck and across my bare chest as she circled me, hand dragging ever lower. She stopped in front of me, looked up and asked, “Did it make you crazy to hear Jonas hitting on me?”

My body was taut as a drawn bow string. I managed not to growl and said nothing, as she added, “Or was it worse to hear me hitting on him?”

This time I couldn’t stop myself from growling. Hell, she was gorgeous and I couldn’t stop other men from desiring her. I just hated the idea of her of her wanting another man. Hearing her flirt with someone else was even worse! She started to circle again and I almost felt like her prey.

“Did you imagine him kissing me?” drawing her hand across abs, “Touching me like only you do?” 

She was making me nuts! I did not want to think of her of anyone else touching her, especially not that ass! My body was vibrating with need! I wanted to grab her right now and drive the thoughts of any other man from her mind. Damn her!

Dragging her hand across my waistband, she was back in front of me as she continued, “Of him between my legs, burying himself deep inside.”

Enough! I snapped! She pushed me past my breaking point. Picking her up, I turned and pinned her against the wall and kissed her again, needing, wanting. I pushed my rock hard, pants clad cock against her. I wanted her to feel what she did to me. She’d used Balkar to tease me all day, to make me jealous and make me crazy with the need to make her mine.

Not wasting time, I pulled her light t-shirt over her head and took in the sight of her perfect rounded breasts. Leaning down I nipped one nipple and then the other, before turning my attention back to the first. As I licked and nipped her breasts, my mind wandered to earlier, to watching Balkar leer at her, never taking his eyes off her cleavage. 

“Mine!” I growled and bit down on a nipple, causing her to cry out and squirm against me. 

“Yours,” she agreed, as she arched her back and pushed against me. 

“Then why were you flirting with Balkar?”

She grinned again and I could feel her grind against me. “You enjoyed teasing me?” I asked, tweaking a nipple through. 

Reaching up she kissed my neck and nipped the fur covered skin and soothed it with her tongue. She made her way up until she reached my ear. As she ran her tongue along the sensitive edge to the tip, I groaned and felt my cock twitch. She breathily whispered in my ear, “Wanted to make you jealous.” I sucked in a needy breath at the attention and what she was admitting, “Possessive,” she added.

She pushed my buttons on purpose! She flirted with that scum SIS agent to rile me up. Well she succeeded! I wanted to kick his ass! She was lucky I hadn’t snapped earlier and done it! 

I took a step back from K’agan and closed my eyes for a moment. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I took a deep breath and tried to rein in all my rampaging thoughts and emotions. Unfortunately it didn’t help. I was so aroused it nearly hurt. My instincts were so stirred up with the need to take her, to possess her. It was nearly overwhelming and she admitted to doing it on purpose. Damn.

She stepped away from the wall and started to move away from me. “Oh hells no!” I said, as I grabbed her and pulled her to me. “You started this and I am going to finish it!”

Leaning down, I kissed her again. After breaking the kiss I turned her around and pressed her back to my front. As I kissed my way down her neck to her pulse point, my grasped both breasts and worked her nipples. She whimpered and turned her neck, giving me easier access to the tender flesh of her neck. Sucking in some, I nipped it, marking her. 

“Mine,” I growled. 

K’agan moaned her agreement, as one hand continued to work a nipple and the other hand slipped lower to the waistband of her pants. I quickly shoved her pants down her hips and she kicked them off. I wasn’t surprised to find she was going commando and now stood in front of me in all her naked glory. I couldn’t resist grinding against her and she moaned in need.

I turned my attention to her ear, nipping the tip and running my tongue along the edge, before I whispered in her ear, “You played with fire, now it’s time you got burned!” 

Grasping the back of her neck with one hand, I started pushing her down on the bed in front of us. As she went to her knees, I followed her down, never releasing my hold on her. I continued to push her head down until her cheek rested on the sheets. Using my legs, I pushed her legs apart and positioned myself right behind her, without breaking my hold. With my free hand I pushed my pants and boxers down my thighs. My cock popped free and K’agan whined when it pressed against her ass.

“You want it?” I asked.

Without waiting for an answer, I lined myself of with her womanhood and with one hard stroke I hilted myself inside her. She inhaled sharply as I filled her. Not allowing K’agan a moment to adjust to the feeling of me inside her, I pulled out until just my tip was inside her and then forcefully filled her again. Without stopping, I set a brutal pace, never releasing my hold on her neck. I wanted to brand my mark on her. I wanted the feel of me buried deep inside her, burned into her memory, so next time she thought of flirting with SIS agents she’d still feel it. 

As filled her, over and over again, I could feel her start coming apart underneath me. As I held her down, I leaned over and found the spot where neck and shoulder met. Just as I bit down on the fur covered skin, I hilted myself in her heat and her needy moan filled the room. I lathed my tongue over the tender flesh and repeated the action. With a cry, I felt her walls clench down on my cock as she flew apart. I grinned wickedly as I never broke pace.

“Don’t move,” I ordered, as I released my hold on her neck and she nodded her understanding.

With both hands, I grasped her hips and pulled her back, as I hilted my cock deep into her heat. I groaned as I went deeper with each stroke and left bruises on her delicate flesh, as I held on, thrusting into with abandon. My pace became erratic as my need grew until I felt the tell-tale tightening that signaled my nearing orgasm. With a few more hard strokes, I slammed deeply into K’agan.

“Fuck,” I roared, as I came inside her, filling her with my seed.

As my orgasm rolled over me, I felt K’agan fall over the edge again, screaming her release, her walls milked me for every drop.

Closing my eyes, I tried to regain control of my breathing. I was still inside K’agan and could feel the aftershocks pass through her. It took a few moments of deep breathing to regain some form of control. We both gasped at the loss, when I carefully pulled my softening cock out of her. Rolling off of her, I lay down on the bed and pulled her on top of me. 

I could feel her smile as she snuggled into my chest. I pulled her tight against me. 

“Was worth it,” I heard her mumble, as we drifted off to sleep.

I’m not sure I agree but I’ll be here to remind her just what she has at home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve played through the Gauntlet before, both on male and female characters. Ironically, my other female character, Skye’ash elected to send Dorne to the bridge, so she didn’t face the repercussions of Aric getting hurt. I’ve always wondered how a female trooper involved with Aric, would react to his injuries on the Gauntlet. I even asked Alaurin101 if she had written the scene yet. At that time she hadn’t gotten to it yet.
> 
> I’ve been very unhappy with Bioware’s depiction of a female trooper’s reaction to his injuries. I get that during the mission she would have to hold it together and get her team to safety; afterwards she would be allowed to fall apart. Instead all we see are a cut scene of the escape where one of the response options to Numenn is a joke about partying and later we see Aric rolling around on a bed in the med bay in full armor. Really?! Full armor for someone who was just critically injured and stabilized on the Gauntlet. Don’t think so.
> 
> I finally decided to explore it myself. Recently, it was K’agan’s turn to run the Gauntlet. Sigh. Because it made the most sense mission wise, she decided to send Jorgan and 4X to get the data from the Bridge. This is her reaction to the end of the mission.  
> This has grown to monsterous proportions, 34 pages and counting. I decided to break it down into more manageable pieces. It’s not quite down yet but I’m still working on it and hopefully it will be done soon. I thought I’d go ahead and post this first part.

**“Captain, its Jorgan. Big trouble up on the bridge.”**

A feeling of cold dread filled my stomach when I heard those words.

 **“We got the data but Imperial reinforcements just showed up out of nowhere. A lot more than we can hold off.”**

The dread turned into a full-fledged knot in my stomach. While I was glad they got the data it wouldn’t be worth losing one of them...losing Aric. No!! Can’t think that way! Especially not now!

**“Are the bombs planted, can we pull out?”**

Damn! He sounded almost panicked. Aric never panics. I can’t lose him.

 **“We’re done here. Dorne take Yuun and cover Jorgan and Fourex—we’ll rendezvous aboard the ship.”**

**“Right away Captain,” Dorne replied. “Let’s move out Sergeant!”**

**“We’ll meet you back aboard the ship sir, Jorgan out.”**

‘Gods, I hope so,’ I prayed silently. I’m not sure what I do if I lost Aric. Since I took command of Havoc Squad, he’s always been at my side. Even when he was angry and bitter, for justifiable reasons, he still taught and supported me. He’s always had my back and our relationship has grown from co-workers, to friendship to something much more. I can’t lose him! 

Vik and I took off for the ship. We met some Imperial resistance along the way but we made short work of them and kept going. This operation was quickly disintegrating around us. We needed to get everyone aboard the Thunderclap and get out of here! 

We were almost there! As we rounded the last corner, I looked up and saw something in the corridor. Fourex was just ahead…it looked like he was standing guard. We ran closer. Oh gods!! This wasn’t happening! No, no, no NO! Dorne and Yuun crouched over Aric lying on the floor. He was so still…too still! That’s when I noticed the pool of blood that the pair was kneeling in…too much blood. It was all I could do to keep myself together. I wanted to run to his side and pull him into my arms, cry and fall apart but I couldn’t! I had to be there for my crew and get them off this doomed ship! 

**“Captain! It’s a great relief to see you well in spite of the extensive fighting.”** said Fourex as we approached. 

I couldn’t take my eyes off Aric. He was so still, it was scaring me. Was he alive? Please, let him be alive!?!? 

**“I’m afraid Jorgan sustained heavy injuries during our retreat from the bridge,”** Fourex informed me. 

‘Keep breathing,’ I had to remind myself as Fourex spoke. 

**“Despite my efforts to absorb enemy fire, he refused to give up his portion of the fight,”** I didn’t hear the rest of what Fourex said through the ringing in my ears. 

Damn it Aric! That’s what Fourex is for! We may all care about the droid but in the end he’s expendable and you’re not! Damn your pride! 

**"Full situation report,”** I managed to order around the lump in my throat, **“What’s Jorgan’s status?”**

Thank goodness for my full face helmet. It hid the tears streaking down my cheeks, though nothing could hide the worry from my voice. 

**“I’ve stabilized him for now sir,”** Elara told me. 

I almost shook with relief. Aric was alive! 

**“But the wounds would certainly have been fatal if Fourex had not gotten him to me so quickly,”** she continued. **“Jorgan is lucky to be alive.”**

Now to keep him that way! 

**“Stay with him and keep me updated on his status,”** I told Elara.

**“Of course Captain,” she answered.**

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. We weren’t out of the wood yet but Elara would do all she could for Aric.

 **“Can we talk about this later?”** Vik interrupted.

The Weequay could be a pain in my ass.

**“I need to set those charges off and we shouldn’t be sitting in the hanger bay when I do.”**

But sometimes he’s right!

**“Let’s get moving! Double time it!”**

We need to get off this ship! Dorne and Yuun carefully pick up an unconscious Aric in a fireman’s carry and take him down the corridor and into the airlock to the ship. Looking at the puddle of blood, I’m nearly sick. I have to remind myself that Elara did her job and my XO is still alive. Taking a deep breath, I center myself and reach down, picking up Aric’s assault cannon, which had been left behind. I leave his ruined, bloodstained armor lying on the deck. With the large blaster holes in the chest piece, it isn’t salvageable. I sigh and manage to hold the tears back. Without a word Vik follows in at my side and we head for the ship.

 **“Yuun will see that the ship is prepared for launch. Once we are clear of the Gauntlet we can contact Admiral Helik with a situation report,”** Yuun reported over comms.

We were aboard and I headed for the bridge. My worry was nearly overwhelming but I didn’t have time to stop by med bay and check on Aric. We needed to get everyone out of here.

 **“Attack group, this is Havoc. Objective complete. All ship evacuate to minimum safe distance,”** I ordered.  
I piloted the ship away from the Gauntlet as Vik set off the explosives.

**“Boom.”**

As we fly away on the Thunderclap the other ship exploded around us. 

**“Target destroyed. Repeat, the Gauntlet is destroyed!”** reported Admiral Numenn.” 

**All ships disengage and proceed to the rendezvous four-seven for refueling. Havoc, return to General Garza on Coruscant for debrief.”**

I couldn’t help but wonder if the cost of success would be too high for me personally. 

**“I’ll proceed to Coruscant immediately Admiral,”** I responded.

The need to head in, almost went without saying, I needed to get Aric to a full medical center stat! 

**“The Empire’s greatest weapon has been destroyed. Congratulations Havoc! Numenn out.”**

I entered the coordinates for Coruscant into the nav-computer and we made the jump to hyperspace. I leaned back in my chair, closed my eyes and tried to relax. It wasn’t working. Though, my crew had done the impossible and now we were headed in for debrief, the worst was still in front me…Aric. I wouldn’t relax until my XO was out of danger and on the mend. 

Standing, I turned and head for the exit, stopping in the archway. Looking at Vik, I said, “Great job. Now go relax.” 

Nodding his head, he said, “You to boss.”

I quickly made my way down the stairs and into my cabin. Shutting the door behind me, I threw mine and Aric’s weapons into a corner. I’d take them to the armory later. He’d forgive me for it eventually but with the mission complete and the rest of the crew safe, he came first. I quickly stripped off my armor and threw it into the locker, leaving me standing in a long sleeved shirt and pants that I always wore under my armor. Grimacing, I pulled the sweat soaked clothes off and tossed them into the nearby hamper and glanced towards the ‘fresher. I’d dearly love a quick shower but my need to see Aric was weighing heavily on me. 

In the end I decided I needed to be clean before heading to the med-bay, I jumped and washed off, scrubbing the grime from my body and washing the sweat from my hair. I toweled off and got dress in a clean, dove grey short sleeved shirt and matching light pants. I was glad my long hair in corn rows I didn’t need to take the time to do it. Sitting on my bed, I pulled a thick pair of socks on; the metal decks were cold, before heading for the door. I pulled it open and started towards the med-bay on the other side of the room. 

As I passed the holo-terminal I heard Dorne say, “We’re losing him!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I left you on a little bit of a cliffhanger on the last chapter. We move forward a little bit in this one. Plus K'agan has a few revelations. Hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think!

For once I cursed the fact that the Captain’s quarters were soundproof, both inside and out. Biting my lip in worry, I ran towards the med-bay and quietly slipped inside, taking a spot against a wall, out of the way. I didn’t want to disturb Elara or Yuun from their work. Though their concentration was so intense on their task I’m not sure they would have noticed me either way.

The room was utter chaos. The pair was working together to try and save our XO. Equipment was strewn about the room, other instruments were beeping or making other noises I didn’t recognize, lights were flashing and the floor was covered with discarded bloody bandages. What was left of Aric’s armor had been removed and was tossed in a corner and the clothes he usually wore underneath had been cut off his body and tossed on top.

The sight of Aric, my best friend and my lover, drove the air from lungs and filled my blue eyes with tears. He was lying on the medical table, naked, with a light sheet covering his lower half. Blood had soaked through the white sheet marring it in a few places. A tube was down his throat and I could hear a machine breathing for him. His chest and one arm were covered in blood soaked bandages. The worst by far and the most concerning the heart rate monitor and the sound of Aric’s erratic and failing heartbeat. This was currently the focus of the medics in the room.

Suddenly the beat was replaced by one long, flat, steady tone…

I forgot how to breathe as tears streaked down my cheeks. I couldn’t lose him. He’s been at my side since the beginning, since Ord Mantell. I’m not sure how I’d do this without him. I’m not sure I could.  
“He’s flat lined!” Elara shouted, as she picked up a hypo-spray.

From my place along the wall, I couldn’t see what Yuun was doing on the other side of the table and I was so upset I couldn’t understand what he was saying.

“Charging, charging,” I heard a metallic voice say, “Shocking…stand clear,” I could see Elara and Yuun’s hands go up and the voice continued, “Shocking in 3…2…1.” 

I watched as Aric’s body arched up and off the table as the electric shock coursed through his body and tried to re-start his heart. I slid down the wall in shock and sat on the floor, my knees drawn up to my chest. After a few seconds his body relaxed and laid back on the table. For an anxious few seconds all motion in the room stopped and we waited to see if the shock was successful.

As time ticked away and the tone continued Dorne started moving again and slapped the hypo-spray to Jorgan’s neck. Yuun was on the other side assisting the medic and I sat on the floor, my heart in my stomach, as I watched to see if my world was about to shatter into pieces I’d never be able to put back together. 

I heard the hiss of another hypo-spray, just as the voice started again. “Charging, charging,” it said. “Stand clear…shocking…stand clear…shocking in 3…2…1.”

Again Aric’s body arced off the table. I couldn’t watch anymore and buried my head in my arms. I started crying, my shoulders shaking with my sobs as the long tone continued. I was losing him…

“Damn!” I heard Elara curse. The former Imperial woman never curses! “Jorgan do not quit on me now damn it!” 

I refused to look up. I couldn’t look at his dead body lying on the table. Lifeless…gone. I couldn’t believe this was happening. My heart shattered. He was gone…he left me here alone…   
I heard the hiss of another hypo-spray and Elara saying, “One more time! Come on Jorgan you’re too stubborn to go out like this!”

“Charging…charging,” The voice started again, “Stand clear…shocking in 3…2…1.”

With my head buried in my knees I heard but didn’t see Aric’s body arc off the table. After the shock finished we all waited with bated breath for Aric’s heart to start beating. After a few long, tension filled moments I realized our hope was for naught. He was dead.

When reality hits me I start gasping for air. This is too much. He’s gone. My best friend…my lover…my mate. Oh stars! My mate! I can’t breathe! He was my mate, my other half was gone and I never got the chance to tell him! 

I can’t do this alone! My body starts to shake as I cry out my pain. I’ve never lost someone under my command before and to have the first be Aric is more than I can deal with.  
My lungs scream out at the lack of oxygen. I continue to struggle to breath. Maybe it’s better this way, if I never breathe again. I jump when a paper bag is thrust into my hands.

“Breathe into the bag Boss,” said Tanno, indicating the bag. I was so focused on my loss, I never even noticed the large Weequay walk into the room.

As I put the bag over my mouth and nose, I feel Vik push my head between my knees, “Easy, take slow deep breathes.”

I close my eyes and try to follow his directions, slowly breathing in and out. It all falls apart however, when I hear Yuun say, “Time of death?” 

“No!” Elara answers, causing me to startle and glance up. “One more time!” Yuun starts to say something but Dorne cuts him off with a sharp look at me. “One more.”

After glancing in my direction, my computer tech says “Yuun agrees."

This time Elara picks up two hyposprays and injects both into Jorgan’s neck. She leans down and I barely hear her whisper in his ear, “You are not leaving her like this.”

Once again I hear the metallic voice start, “Charging…charging…stand clear shocking in 3…2…1.”

This time I watch as the body of the man I love arches off the bed one last time. Again we are forced to wait and see if the obnoxious tone changes. One moment turns into two and finally three before the tone changes!

“Beep……beep….beep,” the sound of Aric’s heartbeat fills the med-bay. For the first few second the beat is erratic before finally settling into a slow, weak beat but a BEAT! “Beep…beep…beep.”

Closing my eyes and lean my head back against the wall behind me. I gave quiet thanks to all the gods that may have helped save my mate. Taking a steadying breath I open my eyes. I am worn out! I’ve got no energy left. The preparation, battle, Aric’s injury and almost death, I’ve got nothing left. 

“Knew he was too stubborn to die,” I heard Vic rumble above me. Without another word he turned and left the room.

After Vik joined the crew there had been problems. The Weequay had a bad attitude and lacked discipline. It was his serious lack of respect for authority that rubbed his rubbed his Cathar superior the wrong way. Most forms of discipline that Jorgan tried had little effect on Vik. He’d been dismissed from the Republic Military once and really didn’t care if it happened again. Plus he was well aware that the military need him this time, not the other way around. It all culminated in a showdown between the pair. 

They finally came to blows when Tanno’s disrespect pushed Jorgan over the edge. Though the Weequay had size and brute force on the Cathar, Aric was quicker and much more controlled and focused in his attacks, making it a fairly even match up. The pair went toe to toe, exchanging punishing blows, each trying to hurt the other and end the fight. They were both bruised and battered when Aric managed to take the bigger man down and knock him unconscious. When he awoke, Vik was in the med bay and on report, again, but Jorgan had earned the big Weequay’s grudging respect.  
Wrapping my arms around my bent legs, I rested my chin on my knees, and with my cheeks still damp with tears. I watched while Elara worked on my mate. My mate...that was something I was still trying to wrap my mind around. I did like the thought of sharing the rest of my life with him. A warm feeling filled my stomach at the thought.

I watched the pair work together. They prepped and cleaned their patient's wounds. Next Dorne applied kolto to his open wounds and bandaged them, injected various medications and ran an intravenous line for blood. Finally, they finished though Aric still looked dangerously wounded.

"I appreciate your help Yuun," Dorne said, as the Gann readied to leave. 

"Yuun is most happy to be of service," he answered, as he left the med bay. 

Grasping his hand as he walked by, I stopped him and said, "Thank you."

As he nodded his understanding and left the room, I watched as Elara as she continued to work. She checked all his bandages and double checked his vitals. 

Finally finished, Elara came over and sat down on the floor next to me. She pulled up her legs and rested her arms on her knees. "I've done all I can for now," she said.

We sat quietly for a while, as I worked up the courage to ask. "How bad is it?"

"Bad. He took heavy damage," she answered, not mincing words. "He took three serious shots. He was hit full in the chest, a hit to the lower back and hip, and his left arm." 

My eyes filled with tears again. I almost dreaded the answer to my next question. "Will he make it?"

"I won't lie to you sir," she said, a serious look on her face. "I don't know."

Tears started streaking down my cheeks again. I can't lose him.

"He is in very critical condition," turning back to look towards her patient. The sound of machines forcing air into his lungs filled our conversation. “He needs immediate surgery and a lengthy stay in a kolto tank.

Just looking at him, I knew he’d need a kolto tank. That wasn’t a surprise. Surgery wasn’t a surprise either but I worried that in his condition, Coruscant was too far away. “Should I call for a capital ship to come back and assist us?” I asked her urgently. “Or should we detour to a closer planet with a first class medical center?”

Studying her patient, I could see my medic consider all our options. Finally she shook her head, “No sir,” she answered, “Our best option is Coruscant. Waiting for a ship could take too long and Coruscant is closer and has the best doctors available anywhere.”

Looking at Dorne I wanted her to understand just how grateful I was for his life. "I just," I stuttered to a stop. Shaking my head I started over. "I just…I don’t know…” I tried again, “Thank you doesn’t seem to be enough.” 

With a small smile, Elara replied, “You are most welcome.”

As we sat quietly, I propped my head on my arms. I couldn’t keep my eyes of Aric. I took comfort in watching his chest rise and fall and was reassured at the sound of his heartbeat on the monitor. He was still here with me! 

My companion finally broke the quiet between us. “Permission to speak freely sir?”

“After everything,” I answered, “Granted, of course.”

“Did you fill out form 3578-K?”

I could feel my cheeks turn crimson red at the memory. Embarrassed, I hid my face in my knees. I had been assisting Dorne in the medical bay after a tryst with Aric. While putting a box away, my shirt had ridden up and the medic had noticed the bruises under my light colored fur, hand shaped bruises. She hadn’t asked about them or how they got there. Instead she suggested we fill out the form authorizing a relationship between crew members.

Cheeks still pink, I managed to look up and answer, “Yes, we did.”

“Good.”

“Good?” I question.

“Yes sir,” she said with a small smile, “If it was not obvious to crew before today, that the pair of you are involved, it is now.”

I couldn’t dispute that. My reaction to Aric’s injury was obviously more than that of a superior officer for someone under their command.

“Thank you for that by the way,” I told her, “I had no idea there was a form for that.”

“Again you’re welcome sir,” she said, as she stood. “Now, if you’re staying with Lieutenant Jorgan I really need to change and shower.”

Glancing up, I was shocked to realize that Elara was still in her full armor, minus her helmet. She had yet to get the chance to change or shower. She was a mess, worn, sweaty and tired. Her armor was blood streaked, with what I knew was Aric’s blood. My stomach plummeted at that thought. Finally realizing she was waiting for my reply, I said, “I don’t plan on leaving his side.”

“Then I shall go shower and change,” she said, “And I shall bring us both back something to eat.” With that she left me alone in the medical bay with Aric.

Stretching out my legs, I stood and walked over to the Aric’s bed. Pulling up a chair, I sat down next to him. From this close I could see the splotches of blood and bruises littering his exposed body. Keeping my eyes on his face, I tried to ignore the large white bandage covering his chest. I was afraid of what lay underneath it, afraid it would steal this man from me. If I looked at his face I could almost pretend. Almost… except the tube leading into his mouth, down his throat and into his lungs. It didn’t allow me to pretend, not for long…he could still leave me alone…

I gently touched his face and dragged my fingers tenderly across his cheek. “You can’t leave me. I have things I need to tell you. Important things,” I said, as the tears started again, “You’ve got to fight for me, please.” Leaning forward I kissed his cheek. “Live for me.”

I folded my arms on the bed, next to his prone body and laid my head down. I closed my eyes and just listened to his heart beat. Each one reassuring me he was still here…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keeping my story line moving forward. This time we debrief with General Garza after the Gauntlets and her thoughts.

During the flight I'd barely left Aric's side, instead preferring to sit by his bed, watch his vitals and reassure myself he was still with me. I'd slept in the chair next to his bed and even taking my meals in the med bay, never daring leave...until now. With our arrival on Coruscant, I had to fly the Thunderclap and set it down in our landing bay. Afterward, I'd hurriedly put my armor back on. I was being forced to attend an immediate debrief with General Garza, Something I desperately did not want to do!

With a frustrated sigh, I sat back into my chair and placed my helmet on the floor next to me. I buried my face in my hands as tears stung my eyes. I didn't want to leave him! I'd tried to get General Garza's secretary to delay the debrief meeting but she refused. She had been unsympathetic stating, the General was unavailable later and this debrief was urgent and required. 

"I will take care of him while you’re gone sir," I heard behind me. Turning I found Elara standing there.

"I know," I said, "I just..." and I trailed off. I trusted my medic. I knew she would do her utmost and take great care of my mate; it was just....I shook my head; I didn't know how to explain.

"You are afraid," as she crossed to her patient's bed. "It is understandable," she added, as she checked his vitals.

She was right. I was afraid. "What if..." I started again, "While I'm gone, what if..." I couldn't actually voice the horrible thought.

Looking at me sharply, Elara said, "He won't die! I won't let him!"

With a sharp nod of understanding, "I know," I agreed. I had no doubt that she would do all within her power to keep Aric alive. "I don't want to leave him."  
"You couldn't change the debrief time sir?"

"No," I answered scowling. I didn't tell her the secretary hung up on me.

"Well sir," she said as she continued to prep Jorgan for the transfer to the medical center, "Go to the meeting. I'll take care of the lieutenant and we will be waiting for you at the center when you are done. Hopefully by that time I'll have some information for you."

Taking a deep breath, I said, "Agreed." Sitting forward, I silently took Aric's hand and held it.

Having finished, Dorne started to walk out and said, "I'll give you a moment sir."

"Thank you," I whispered, never taking my eyes off my man.

Once we were alone I whispered, "I've got to go meet with Garza for a debrief." Squeezing his hand, "And they're taking you to the med center. I'll be there as soon as I can." I kiss his knuckles, "Hang tough for me." Standing up, I ignored the ventilator, leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "I need you. Don't leave me." I quickly ran my fingers down his cheek and turned away before the tears could start. Picking up my helmet I walked out and found Elara in the common area.

"Take care of him for me," I told her as I headed for the ship's entrance. "I'll be there as soon as possible."

"I will sir."

I stopped at the entrance and put on my helm. Taking a deep breath I opened the door and stepped out. This just felt wrong. I wasn't used to doing this alone anymore. Aric was always at my shoulder. I tried not to think about it and started down the ramp. I was climbing on my speeder when I heard a voice yelling at me.

"Hold up Boss."

"Vik?"

"Can't let you head out without back-up, sir" Vik said, as he joined me at the speeders. "Your Cathar would try and hand me my ass when he wakes up." 

I noticed that Tanno said when not if he woke. "He would," I agreed, with a sad smile. "Let's go, Specialist."

Vik climbed on his machine and we took off for the Senate Tower. As I drove, my thoughts kept drifting off. Luckily this was a drive I had made too many times to count because I couldn't keep my thoughts off my injured XO. I worried about him. Anything could happen. He was in bad shape and anything could hurt him, take him from me. I was so distracted, I was shocked to look up and realize we were outside the Senate Tower. 

"We're here Boss," my demolition man said, as he dismounted.

Without a word, I quickly climbed off the bike; I secured it and headed inside. We made our way up to the second floor and General Garza's office. I managed not to choke the unsympathetic secretary as we passed, instead giving her a quick nod, before walking into the General’s inner sanctum. Tanno stood quietly at my shoulder when Garza greeted me.

**"Captain, fantastic work. The Imperial Ministry of War is a firestorm over the Gauntlet's destruction. The SIS says heads will roll over this quite literally."**

That would be cold comfort for me if Aric doesn't make it. I still worried this "victory" could carry a very heavy personal cost.

**"It's good to know our work paid off," I replied, shrugging my shoulders.**

**"Havoc squad has accomplished a great deal under your command," Garza complimented. "Your leadership and skill in conducting this ongoing operation have been exemplary. I'm promoting you to Major effective immediately."**

Pain stabs through my heart. Aric should be here for this! It was his hard work, as much as mine that got us here! 

**"Commensurate promotions will be issued for all your squad members as well. Congratulations Major," General Garza said.**

Though my heart is aching, I manage to keep my voice steady when I answer her.

**"I'm honored to accept this promotion, General."**

"You've earned it. When presented with extraordinary circumstances you delivered extraordinary results."

With Aric's help. Gods! He should be here for this! We've been on this path together since Ord Mantell!

**"I'm also recommending you for the Silver Crescent, in honor of the extraordinary valor you demonstrated in the attack on the Gauntlet superweapon," the General added.**

'Extraordinary valor?!' I questioned internally. I did what needed to be done to get my team out of there. Fourex and Jorgan were the brave ones, facing extreme odds on the bridge and still making it back!

I almost missed it as she continued, **"In recognition of injuries sustained in the line of duty I've recommended Aric Jorgan for the Mark of Dedication. Assuming your approval."**

Finally! Something I agree with!

**“I can’t think of anyone more deserving.”**

Aric. My thoughts return to my injured XO. I needed to get out of here! As soon as possible!

**“Excellent! I’ll submit the necessary paperwork right away.”**

Good! He more than deserves it!

**“Now, I’m afraid not all our news is positive.”**

And the other shoe drops!

As she keyed something up, General Garza said, **“We received the following holo-transmission not long after the Gauntlet was destroyed.”** She presses a few more buttons and the image of an Imperial officer appears.

I try and keep my thoughts in this meeting and away from my worries over Aric. I needed to pay attention. Once he was awake and back to duty, he’d ask for the details of this meeting.

**“Republic Command, I am General Rakton of the Imperial Ministry of War,” the image started.**

Who was this guy?

**“You have made a grave error. By destroying the Gauntlet you have destroyed a weapon of peace – and the final hope your people had.”**

What?!?! Weapon of peace –wasn’t that an oxymoron. Well, coming from a moron…

**“Weapon of peace? That’s ridiculous!”**

**“This is only the beginning,”** General Garza informs me.

Can’t wait to hear it!

**“I had hoped that a device that removed the possibility of resistance would allow the Empire to achieve its great works without further bloodshed.”**

Huh? That weapon insured more loss of life, at least on the Republic side and I guess that’s what’s important to Raktan.

The image continued, **“But your actions have destroyed any hope for peace. I am forced to launch a campaign unlike any the galaxy has seen.”**

Considering the horrors this galaxy has seen that’s saying a lot! This guy thinks an awful lot of himself!

**“Your soldiers will be slaughtered,”** Raktan said.

Now that concerns me!

**“Your planets will burn. And your people will embrace the light of the Emperor’s will at last.”** With that the image flickered out.

I don’t think so.

General Garza and I stood silently for a few long seconds, both thinking about what we just saw.

**“Can Raktan back up these claims?” I finally ask her.**

**“He can and I have little doubt he will,”** she says.

That is NOT reassuring.

**“For years General Raktan has outmaneuvered and outwitted every Republic force that has stood in his way, including mine,”** Garza said.

The general turns to look at me and continues, **“The SIS is watching for any sign of Raktan’s new campaign. Until we have solid data, Havoc Squad is relieved. Rest, recuperate and be ready for my call. Dismissed Major.”**

‘Thank the gods!’ I needed to get back to Aric’s side and didn’t waste any time heading for the door.

Just as I pulled it open I heard, “Major?”

Turning I looked back into the office at the general, “Yes, sir?”

“How is he?” she asked.

“Sir?”

“Captain Jorgan,” she explained, using his new rank, her concern evident. “How bad is it?” It was obvious she was not asking as his superior officer but rather as a concerned friend or associate.

Taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it, I tried to control my rampaging emotions, before answering her. “Bad, he took three hard hits,” I answered her honestly. “They were transferring him to Republic Medical during this meeting. I’m headed there now that we’re done.”

Surprised and curious, the older lady asked, “Why didn’t you holo me, Major? This meeting wasn’t that important, we could have changed the time.”

I was livid!! Turning I glared at the secretary sitting in the outer office. “I did call sir and explained the situation to your secretary,” I spat, “She refused to change the time and hung up on me!” If looks could kill, the woman would be dead in her office chair!

Striding across the room, the general stood with me in the door and said, “I’ll take care of it Major.” Glaring at the secretary, who was now slinking down in her chair, she added, “Don’t worry Major. This won’t happen again.”

“Thank you sir,” I said, as I walked for the hall door.

Again she stopped me at the door. “Take care of him Major.”

“I take care of my people sir,” I replied and started out.

“I know you do Major,” she assured me. With a small smile, the general said, “I received a copy of the form.”

Not knowing what to say to confirmation that General Garza was aware of our relationship, I said, “Yes sir.”

“He’s a good one,” she added as I walked out, Vik at my back.

At that moment I’m again glad I wore my helmet. It concealed all the emotions I was feeling, anger at the secretary’s actions, worry for Aric and the constant gnawing fear of his possible death, of losing him. “He is,” I agreed, a catch obviously in my voice.

I couldn’t get out of the building fast enough. I was tempted to jump off the second floor balcony, like I’d seen others do, but instead I continued down the hall and down the steps to the first floor. I didn’t need to injure myself in my haste to get to Aric. Almost on auto pilot I hurried out of the entrance and over to my waiting speeder bike. Vik and I climbed on and fired up their engines. Nodding at him, I turned the bike and sped off towards Republic Medical. I prayed this was a drive I never got used too….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews please!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is being written as one long story. As a consequence, sometimes it’s hard to figure out where to break it if there isn’t a natural one. This was one of those times. Sigh. Ah, well let me know what you think and hit that review button.

Chapter 5

We weaved in and out of pedestrians and dodged traffic on the way to the hospital. Tanno started cursing over comms when a speeding cab nearly hit him at an intersection. He swerved and the cabbie missed him. Lucky for the other driver he was already out of reach of Vik’s tech blade or it could have gotten really ugly.

When we parked the speeders, I got off and said to my squad mate, “We’re relieved of duty. You can head out and have some fun.” 

“Sure thing boss,” he said with a small smile while gunning the speeder’s engine. “Let me know if anything changes with Jorgan.”

“Will do,” I said, “Don’t get into any trouble I can’t bail you out of,”

“Ahhh Boss,” he replied with an evil smile, “What’s the fun in that.” He turned and rode away, leaving me standing alone outside the medical center.

As I approached the building the huge glass door whooshed open automatically. I strode in and started across the large foyer. The walls of the first floor were solid glass allowing natural light in but tinted against any hazardous glare. A large glass sculpture stood in the center of the room and the area around the display was filled with plush chairs and benches, a few of which were occupied. The floor appeared to be some kind of large, black granite slabs. On the far wall a desk sat in front of a bank of elevators. I approached the droid behind the desk and said, “I’m looking for Aric Jorgan.”

“Friend, family or other?” the droid asked mechanically.

I wasn’t sure why the droid needed to know and I wasn’t sure exactly how to answer that, we weren’t family but we were definitely more than friends. “I don’t know other I guess.”

“Nature of the request,” it next asked, “Business or personal.”

I gritted my teeth and barely kept myself from snarling at the droid. I had to work hard to suppress the urge to pull my gun and blow the droid’s head off. “Both,” I bit out. 

That seemed to confuse the droid and it just sat there processing the information. Just as I stepped around the desk, I heard Elara’s voice, “Over here sir.” I looked to the elevator and saw her just inside the first one, holding it open for me.

“Stupid droid,” I said, as I walked away.

“Excuse me,” it said, almost sounding affronted.

The door shut as Elara pushed a button for the appropriate floor. We stood silently as the car started and swiftly headed up. Finally the car stopped, the door opened and we stepped out on to a busy floor. Doctors, nurses and droids were heading in different directions. As we approached a long hall lined with doors, Elara said, “There is a waiting room just down the hall on the left, where we can talk.”

Without a word I headed in the direction she indicated. A few meters along the hall was a large room, inside was some cushy couches, tables, chairs and along a far wall a caffa machine and assorted vending machines. Sitting down on a couch, I reached up, unlatched my helm and removed it. I sat it down on the floor next to me. With a soft sigh, I ran my hands over the rows in my hair and down my face. I was worn out and exhausted, with no end in sight.

Elara sat down in the chair to my left and without preamble said, “He crashed when we got here.”

I was glad she waited to drop that news on me until I was sitting down. Otherwise it would have brought me to my knees. I still forgot how to breathe and my eyes filled with tears yet again. I could feel my hands start shaking in my lap. The little voice in my head started chanting, ‘He can’t be dead, he can’t be dead, he can’t be dead,’ over and over again. I couldn’t say anything, not even to ask the dreaded question.

Laying a gentle hand on my shoulder my medic said, “Breathe Captain. In and out,” she said, “In and out.” As I started breathing again, “Just like that.”

“Is he…” I couldn’t finish. I wouldn’t finish it. I refused to even consider the possibility that he was gone.

“Don’t worry he’s alive sir,” she answered, “He crashed but they stabilized him and brought him up here to prep for surgery.”

I released the breath I didn’t even know I was holding, in a rush of air and slid down on the couch. I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take. “What happened?” I asked, “How’s he doing now?”

“Well,” she hesitated and looked away, “I am not sure.”

“What?” I questioned, sitting up in my chair. Why didn’t the medic for Havoc Squad, the person that provided our medical care, knew our medical history and most importantly the reason Aric made it to Coruscant, have information on his status?

The unflappable blonde woman almost looked embarrassed as she said, “I was speaking to a nurse in Lieutenant Jorgan’s room.”

I interrupted her. “Captain Jorgan now but go ahead Lieutenant,” I said, stressing her new rank.

“Thank you sir,” she said brightly. “As I was saying, I was speaking to a nurse in the Captain’s room, when we were interrupted by a doctor.” Her face grew darker and less than pleased. “He was young but at the time he outranked me. He said something about Imperial traitors treating Republic soldiers and kicked me out of the room. He has refused to give me any information on Captain Jorgan since.”

I quickly stood up I almost bumped heads with Dorne. She silently sits back and watches me begin passing the room, back and forth, from one end to the other. She wisely says nothing and allows me to pace. I’m angry. No, I zoomed past angry to livid! I’m sick and tired of people questioning Elara’s loyalty and integrity. She’s in the top spec forces squad in the Republic for a reason, damn it! To question her integrity is an insult and I am not tolerating it. 

I am across the room, near the bank of windows covering the far wall, when I hear the other woman finally say, “And here he is now.” 

I turn sharply, just as a young human man in scrubs enters the room. The man is maybe my height, slim build, dark hair and brown eyes. He’s intelligent enough to look scared when I growl and start his way but not smart enough to run from the room. I’m into his personal space in three strides, blocking his possible exit from the room. “Who the hells do you think you are?” I snarl.

“Umm..Doctor Darkal Hamben, sir” he hesitantly answered. I have a hard time believing this fledgling doctor is in charge of Aric’s care.

“What gives you the right to treat my medic so poorly?”

His eyes quickly dart to Dorne before coming back to me and looking down. “She’s an Imperial sir,” he whispers.

“Was an Imperial Hamben,” I tell him, “Was.” I point at my medic. “Look at how she’s dressed. She’s wearing Republic armor embossed with the emblems of the top spec force squad in the Republic! Havoc squad!” My eyes had become blue slits as I empathized, “My squad! My people! And you WILL treat her with the respect she’s earned. She kept him alive and she’s the reason Captain Jorgan made it this far.”

“Yes sir,” he replies but I can tell he’s not happy about it.

“Now,” I said, watching the kid in front of me. “Captain Jorgan’s status and who is in charge of his care?”

At this the kid seems to draw himself up and he gives a small, almost evil grin. “I’m sorry sir,” he said, placing empathize on the sir, “I’m not at liberty to say.”

“What?” I growl and just manage to suppress the urge to do this kid bodily injury, though I do crowd further into his personal space.

Hamben took a step back, before answering, with almost glee, “All health information is deemed private and protected. It may only be released to his family.”

I take a step forward, closing the distance between us again, making him shrink back from me. “If and when Captain Jorgan is incapacitated I hold his medical proxy,” I informed the sniveling worm, “just as he holds mine.” Elara looks slightly surprised at the news, though she really shouldn’t be.

He isn’t done antagonizing me yet. “Well,” Hamben said, “we will need the appropriate paperwork on file with the medical center before we can release the details of the Captain’s care.”

That’s it! I’m about to snap. I glare at the kid and growl. Just as I am about to grab him, a new voice says, “Don’t provoke the commander of Havoc Squad Hamben. It doesn’t seem a wise course for your long term health.”

“Yes sir,” the kid returned, looking away from me.

I turned to look at the newcomer and didn’t miss the look Elara gave him. She took her time, looking at him from the top of his head all the way down to the boots on his feet. I’m sure the man couldn’t have missed it. He’s another human, wearing dark blue scrubs and a white jacket. Unlike Hamben he’s tall, towering over me, he was 1.91 meters at least. He’s muscled and well put together, with dark blonde hair, ice blue eyes and probably in his early thirties. He was a sexy package and I could see what grabbed my medic’s attention.

“Doctor Jayd Jeffre,” he said, while sticking a hand out. 

I shook it. “I’m Major K’agan Kazik, commander of Havoc squad as you know.”

“Good to meet you,” he said, “Doctor Hamben is an intern under my direction.” He looked sternly at the younger man. “I will make sure he doesn’t bother your squad again,” he looks at Dorne, “And treats them with the respect they’ve earned.”

“Thank you doctor,” Dorne and I chorused, making him smile. I continued, “Captain Jorgan’s condition?

With a deep breath, all sense of good humor evaporated as Doctor Jeffre answered, “In one word, critical. We’re prepping him for surgery now.”

“What happened?” I ask.

Before he answered, Doctor Jeffre told the younger man, “Go check on the soldier in room 6.”

“Yes sir,” Doctor Hamben said, scowling at us.

“And Hamben,” the older man said, as the young doctor started to leave.

“Yes sir?” he questioned from the entry.

“Consider your actions soldier,” Doctor Jeffre added, “At this point they reflect badly on you and as my intern, on me. These women did nothing to earn the way you were treating them.” 

The dark haired man looked towards the floor and answered, “Yes sir.” He left after shooting another nasty look my way.

Shaking his head, the blonde doctor mumbled something to himself but I couldn’t hear what it was. After a moment he looked at me, smiled and said, “Shall we have a seat?”

Without comment I sat back into the chair I had sat on earlier. Dr. Jeffre sat down on the couch next to me, and between Elara and me. Before I could ask he said, “As I said Lieutenant Jorgan is in critical condition.”

“Captain Jorgan,” I told him. “We were all recently promoted.”

The doctor noted the change in the file on his tablet and continued, “The short transport over was hard on his already stressed body. As a consequence, Captain Jorgan’s blood pressure plummeted and heart beat slowed.” At my obvious look of distress, he quickly tried to reassure me, “We took immediate action and got him stabilized.”

“What’s the underlying cause?” I asked.

“He has unchecked internal bleeding,” Jeffre answered, “Among a myriad of other problems. As the captain’s medical proxy, I have a question.”

“Do whatever it takes to save him,” I said, without hesitation.

“That was never in question. I despise losing patients on my watch!” he replied, deeply serious. “No, what I wanted to know was how you and the captain feel about cybernetics.”

“No amputations if anything can be done to save the limb,” I answered immediately, thinking of his arm. I didn’t remember how bad his arm was damaged, I had been more worried about his chest wound at the time but I knew Aric wouldn’t want it replaced with a cybernetic limb if he could avoid it.

Jotting down a note, Dr. Jeffre said, “I don’t think amputation will be necessary. Maybe some plates or screws, depending on if it’s broken and how bad but nothing more.” I sagged in my seat a little with relief, as he continued, “I was thinking internally. If his lungs, heart, kidney or spine are damaged, would he be opposed to cybernetics?”

My worry sky-rocked and I sat up ramrod straight in my chair. It was quiet for a very long moment before I replied, “Internally, cybernetics are fine. Externally, he’d prefer something that looked natural. No obvious enhancements.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” the doctor said as he added something to Jorgan’s file. He looked me in the eye and said, “I didn’t meant to scare you, I don’t even know if he’ll need cybernetic replacements, I just wanted to be prepared.”

Taking a breath, I released it slowly as I thought about this. As Jorgan’s commander, it made perfect sense to be prepared for anything, but as Aric’s girlfriend, I didn’t want to think about him that wounded. “I understand,” I said, though liking and understanding were two very different things.

Standing, Dr. Jeffre said, “We’ll be headed back to surgery shortly. I’ll have a nurse bring you update periodically.” 

“Thank you Doctor Jeffre,” Elara said, looking up at the tall man with a smile.

“Just Jayd please,” he told her, returning the smile.

“Jayd, then please call me Elara,” she answered with a blush.

“Can I see him before you take him back?” as the pair smiled at each other.

“Yes,” the doctor said, with a soft smile for me. “Just follow me. I’ll take you back.”

I hastily stood and as I started to reach for my helm, I heard a voice say, “I’ve got it sir. Go with the doctor.”

“Thank you Elara.”

“No problem sir. I’ll be waiting here.”

Nodding, I followed Dr. Jeffre out the door and into the hall. I He walked a few meters down the hall before turning into a door on the right. I trailed behind him for a few more meters and a couple of turns until we came to a large sink. 

“We need to wash up before I take you back to see Captain Jorgan,” he informed me, while turning the water on.

I pulled off my gloves and looked for some place to put them. Waving towards a stack of small lockers in the corner, Dr. Jeffre said, “You can put your stuff in there. Lock it and take the key with you.”

“Thanks,” I mumble, as I throw my gloves into the locker. Unlatching my bracers, I put each one in the locker and secure it, before rejoining the doctor at the sink. I took my time, washing my hands thoroughly. 

As I was scrubbing between my fingers, the doctor said, “You should be prepared.”

“What?”

“Just be prepared,” he said, drying his hands, “It can be difficult to see those we care about injured.”

Grabbing a towel I started to dry my hands, as I thought back on those moments aboard the Gauntlet. I closed my eyes and worked to push the memories away before they made me cry again. My voice broke when I replied, “When I close my eyes I still see my crew kneeling in a pool of Aric’s blood, wondering if he was dead.” I suck in air as I try to reel my emotions in. I meet the doctor’s eyes, “I can handle this.”

“You’re more than likely right,” he grudgingly agrees, “There is just something about seeing a loved one in a medical bed, weak, injured and surrounded by machines keeping them alive. It hits unexpectedly hard.” He reaches for a door handle. “Ready?”

Steadying myself, I answer, “Yes. Ready as I’ll ever be.”

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews please!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another update! YAY! This one is a little shorter but I should have another on Monday or so. Enjoy!

He pulled the door in and we started in. The first thing to hit me is the sound of machines, the beep of the heart monitor and the hiss of the ventilator that kept him breathing, I was familiar with but there were other sounds mixed in I couldn’t identify. As we got closer it was the sights that overwhelmed me. The bed is surrounded by machines, so many it is hard to see it. I can’t count all the lines and leads hooked up to the figure in the bed. Worst, was how small and weak my usually tall and strong XO looked lying in that bed.

The wind was knocked out of my lungs and I felt my knees give out. I would have fallen to the floor if I hadn’t felt a gentle hand grab my arm and steady me. He led me to the chair next to the bed and I sat down.

Looking up, I said, “Thank you.”

The doctor gave me a kind smile and replied, “You’re welcome. There’s just no way to be truly ready.” As I picked up Aric’s hand that’s lying on the bed, he adds, “I’ll give you a couple of minutes,” and stepped behind a curtain, giving me some privacy.

I clutched my mate’s hand tightly in both of mine. Leaning in I kissed his knuckles and pressed my cheek against them, as the tears streaked down my face. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, “I shouldn’t have sent you.” Closing my eyes, I pressed a long second kiss to his knuckles and sat there quietly, relishing the fact that he was still with me. 

A few minutes later Dr. Jeffre returned and said, “We need to take him to surgery.”

I nodded and stood up. Leaning over his bed, I did my best to ignore the ventilator, kissed Aric’s forehead and whispered in Catharese, “I love you. Don’t quit!”

Standing with a tender smile, I reached out and straightened a tuft of fur on Aric’s head. “Fight for us,” I added in our native language, “Stay with me please.”

Turning away from the bed, I signal the doctor by the curtain and say, “We’re ready.”

Signaling someone I can’t see, Jeffre says, “Take him down.” 

A couple of nurses and techs rushed in and prepared to take Aric to the operating room. They unhooked leads and hooked things to the bed for transport. Before I know it they rolled the bed out of the area, on to an elevator and out of sight.

I was still looking in the direction that Aric had disappeared, when I heard the doctor say, “I’ll take care of him for you.”

Startled, it takes me a second to respond, “What….oh thank you. I know you’ll do your best.” I still can’t tear my eyes away from the elevator, like if I keep watching he’ll come walking back, whole and healthy.

“Does Command know?”

“What?” I ask, surprised yet again by the voice asking me questions.

“Does Command know about your relationship with Captain Jorgan?”

Chagrined I looked at the doctor, blushed and said, “That obvious?”

With a chuckle, he answers, “Oh yeah, if someone is actually looking.” 

Still blushing, “We are usually more discrete.” 

“I’m sure.”

As my blush starts to fade, I looked back at him and said, “And yes we filed the appropriate paperwork with Command.”

“Good,” said Dr. Jeffre, “I wouldn’t like to see you in trouble,” with another kind smile he asks, “Can you find your way back to the waiting room?”

“Yes,” I reassured him. “Just go take care of my XO.”

“He’s in the best hands,” he heads for the elevator and pushes the button. The doors open and he steps on it. Just before they close the doctor adds, “I promise.” 

“I know,” I whispered, as I started back to the waiting room. 

On the way I picked up my gloves and bracers. I carried them, not bothering to put them on and continue on my way. Once back to the waiting room, I dropped in the chair I previously occupied and grab my helmet. I stuffed my other armor pieces in it and put the whole thing back on the floor. I leaned back in the chair and rubbed my face with both hands. I’m beyond exhausted and the day is just starting.

“You should get some rest sir,” Elara said from her spot on the couch next to me.

I shake my head, “I can’t.”

“I’ll stay here sir.”

“I can’t.”

“You have not slept in over twenty four hours, that I am aware of sir,” she argued.

“You don’t understand, I can’t!” I said, getting frustrated.

“Sir?” she asked, obviously confused.

“I can’t…,” my voice broke and I shook my head, “Not now I can't talk about it. 

Elara considered pushing the issue but decides to say instead, "Sir, at least go back and change, get out of that armor." She can see me considering the idea and she adds, "If you can't sleep, at least get something to eat, "You can't afford to wear yourself down and get sick, sir."

Leaning back in the chair, I ran one hand across my braids in my hair and said, "You'll let me know if you hear anything?"|

"Of course, sir."

"Ok," I say, giving in with a sigh. "I'll go change and grab a bite to eat. Do you want something?"

"No thank you sir," Elara replies. "I'll get something when you come back."

Picking up my helmet, I stood and headed back for the elevator. After it arrived, I get in and push the button for the first floor. Lucky for me, it didn’t stop on any other floors and it was a quick ride down. I walked past the greeting droid without a word and continue out the main doors. I jump aboard my waiting, turn it on and gun the engine, before taking off. 

Instead of heading for the space port and the Thunderclap, I made a left and started towards my family’s apartment. My family owns TransInterStellar Shipping, a company that deals in intergalactic trading and shipping. Originally my grandparents started the company to allow Cathar settlements easier access to off world products. Over the years the company has grown and expanded to be one of the largest and wealthiest shipping companies in the known galaxies.

Our home base has always been on Corellia, where I was born and raised, though my family kept a number of apartments scattered across the galaxy, including one on the Republic’s capital world. My father always said it helped with business to be able to entertain at our own home but my siblings and I always believed they kept various apartments because my mother refused to stay in a hotel. I still believe it’s the later. In either case, it was beneficial to me to have a place to stay while on Coruscant. 

After a short flight through heavy traffic, the large glass building and private landing pad come into sight. I set my speeder down, shut it off and pull off my helmet. For a moment I sit on the bike and admire the breath taking views. This building and our apartment are so high up just about the only thing visible above me is the sun. I can see the traffic flying around below me and as far as the eye can see in almost any direction. Plus the light reflecting off the glass of various buildings, dwellings and skyscrapers creates a beautiful tableau. 

I am well aware the higher the space on Coruscant the more expensive it is and the higher the “class” of citizen living there. While there was no official caste or class structure in the Republic, the unofficial one could be just as stifling for people just trying to get by. I hated that. It was one of the main reasons I joined the military, against my family’s wishes. I wanted to make a difference in this universe and the army seemed a way to do it. It also made my mother nuts but that’s another story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and review please!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another piece of the story and this time we meet a member of K'agan's family.

“Miss K’agan it is good to have you home,” said C2-P6, our caretaker droid for this dwelling. He was similar in build to C2-N2, the droid that took of the Thunderclap, but a much more advanced and competent model.

“Hey P6,” I replied swinging a leg over my speeder. “Is anyone staying here right now?” I wasn’t sure I was up to a run in with my mother right now.

I carried my helmet under one arm, as he walked inside with me. The white droid answered promptly, “Miss K’eegan has been staying here for the last week.”

My sister or more exactly one of my littermates and my one sibling that makes my mother more nuts than I do! Smiling now, I asked the droid, “How is my she?” as the glass door slides shut behind us.

“She seems to be doing well,” the droid answered, “the young mistress has been spending her time with a human.”

“P6! She knows Corso,” K’eegan said as we entered the large living area. “And he is part of my crew, so why shouldn’t I spend time with him?”

“Yes Mistress,” the droid dutifully answered.

“K’agan!” my sister greeted as she threw her arms around me in a tight hug. “I didn’t expect to see you here!”

Returning the greeting, I wrapped my free arm around my littermate. Burying my face in her unbound hair, I said, “I missed you sis.”

I could hear the smile in her voice as she replied, “I missed you too!” After a moment she held me at arm’s length and seemed to study me. Her smile faltered and she had a puzzled look on her face when she asked, “You look exhausted. What’s wrong?”

I never could hide anything from her, my brothers yes but never K’eegan. I really, really didn’t feel like telling her about Aric and what happened to him, so I tried, “Nothing, nothing everything’s good.”  
That confirmed it for her. “I know when you’re lying to me K’agan,” she admonished me. “You can lie to Mom and Dad and sometimes to K’addes and K’ye but never to me. I know you. What’s going on?”

At that moment I was saved by a voice, coming from around the corner, “K’eegan who’s here?”

I smile because I’m saved from my nosy sister’s questions for the time being. “Hey Corso.” I met the young human on Ord Mantell after my sister’s ship was stolen.

A tanned, dark-haired male came around the corner, stepped up behind my littermate and wrapped an arm around her waist. He was only slightly taller than us. He had a slim build and chocolate colored eyes. Reaching out with a free hand, he said, “K’agan! It’s good to see you again!”

“You too,” I said, shaking the offered hand. My eyes went to the limb wrapped around my sister’s middle. 

“I forget just how much you look alike,” he added, as he looked me over again.

“We aren’t just littermates,” K’eegan explained with an indulgent smile, “We’re identical twins.”

Nodding his head, Corso said, “I remember,” tightening his grip when she leaned into him. I blinked back tears as the sight brought up the memory of Aric’s arms around me.

K’eegan didn’t miss the rapid blinking, “K’agan?”

I waved it off, “Later,” I managed to say. The look she gave me said she would hold me to it.

“Is Aric with you?” Corso asked, looking behind me for my Cathar companion. Aric and Corso had become acquaintances and later friends as we journeyed from Ord Mantell to Coruscant. 

This time I couldn’t stop the tears from streaking down my cheeks but I was to choked to say anything.

“What is it?” my sister asked, concerned for me. Taking my hand she led me to a nearby couch. Corso was frozen in his spot across the room. “P6,” she called out.

“Yes Miss K’eegan,” the droid replied, as it tottered back into the room.

“Bring us a couple bottles of water please,” she asked.

“Right away,” P6 answered, as he turned and walked out again. 

Looking back at me, my sister ordered, “Now tell us what’s going on. Something’s happened to Aric?”

No longer able to delay this conversation I said, “He was critically injured during an operation.”

A look of horror and sympathy crossed my sibling’s face, as she said, “Oh K’agan! No!”

“Dorne stabilized him and we brought him back to Coruscant for treatment,” I explained, before finishing in a rush, “He’s in surgery right now. Elara is at the hospital and I came home to change out of my armor.”

My sister just leaned in and pulled me into a hug. I buried my face in her neck and just let myself cry. I was so worried for Aric, for my mate and for a moment it overwhelmed me. Eventually, I sat up and K’eegan gently grasped my head with both her hands. With the pad of her thumb she wiped away my tears. “You can’t give up hope,” she said, as continued to wiped my tears, “Aric is to pig-headed and stubborn to die.”

I laughed through what was left of my tears. Aric and my twin had a rocky relationship. He was a little to “by the book” for her taste and she wasn’t pleased with how he treated me on Ord Mantell. As he proved himself and always had my back, he earned her respect and eventual friendship. “I know you’re right,” I told her, “It’s just hard to see him so hurt.”

K’eegan glanced at Corso and with the look I knew she understood exactly how hard it was for me to see Aric injured. Finally with a soft look of understanding, she said, “Go change out of your armor and grab a bag. We’ll be ready to leave in ten minutes or so.”

“What?” I ask, puzzled.

“You don’t think we’ll let you go back to the medical center alone do you?” my sister asks.

“I’ll be fine,” I try and reassure her. “I have no idea how long he’ll be in surgery.

“Maybe you should catch a nap then,” K’eegan decided. “After, we can go back to the med center. I’m assuming Elara is there?”

“Yes, she is but I’m fine. I don’t need a nap,” I answered, crossing my arms across my chest. I was slightly exasperated with everyone trying to get me to sleep. 

My littermate actually snorted at me in response. “You may be able to sell that load of crap to everyone else but I’m your twin and I know better.” She mirrored me and crossing her arms and returning my glare. 

“I can’t,” I started but K’eegan just raised an eyebrow and continued to scowl at me. With a sigh I gave in, “Fine!” I said, petulantly. “Two hours, no more and then we head to the med center and check on Aric,” I bargained.

“Three and Corso will check in with Elara.”

“Have it your way,” I said, “Don’t think I’ll be able to sleep,” I added. Standing up and heading for my room, “But if anything changes with Aric you’ll wake me up immediately.”

“Agreed,” K’eegan answered with a smile.

I walked into my room and shut the door behind me. I was pleased to find it exactly how I left it last time I was here. One wall was covered in floor to ceiling windows, giving me a beautiful view of the sun rising in the mornings. The wall directly across from the windows was dominated by a massive and luxurious bed. It had an enormous black wood headboard and gorgeous purple bedspread. A dark wood night stand stood on each side of the bed. Books were stacked on one, while a picture of her family sat on the other. A matching, dresser with mirror sat next to the door. On the far wall was a dark wood desk and bookcase. A computer terminal was on the desk and it was covered with papers strewn about. A large easel stood in front of the bank of windows with a half completed painting sitting on it.

Two large paintings, by a well-known Corellian artist, decorated the walls. The artist was never seen in public and the artist’s agent had thus far refused all offers for appearances. Speculation in the art community ran rampant. Everything from the name was a pseudonym for another famous artist (anyone asked denied it) to the possibility that the painter suffered horrific wounds in the war and was a hermit. No one really knew.

I sat down on the bed and pulled off my boots, tossing them into a corner. The rest of my armor quickly followed. It was horrible but I knew Corso would care for it and P6 would put it away. I took off the tight pants and shirt I wore under my armor and tossed them in the hamper. I pulled on a gray academy t-shirt and a pair of black shorts and slipped into bed. Contrary to what I thought, I was asleep before my head it the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews Please!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this took longer to get out. Real life got me sidetracked. Hopefully you enjoy it! Let me know what you think!!

“Aric!!”

"K'agan wake up!"

"Aric!" I screamed, as I sat bolt upright in bed.

I was soaked in a cold sweat and the wet sheets were sticking to me.

"K'agan," I heard my sister say. She was sitting on the edge of the bed. "You're okay. You were just sleeping."

"Aric was dead!" I said, urgently grabbing her arm.

"No," she corrected, loosening my grip on her arm. "It was just a nightmare."

"He's not dead?"

"No," she reiterated, "He's in surgery but he's alive."

I slowed my breathing as it all came back to me...the Gauntlet mission, Aric hurt, the blood, the flight back to the Coruscant and the fact that he quit breathing. If not for Elara, he would have died. He would be gone. I owed her everything.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Almost three hours," she answered, standing up. "You were restless but you slept."

"Thanks."

"No problem," she said, walking for the door, "Now it's time to wake, get cleaned up and dressed. We'll head to the med center in about forty five minutes."

"You don't have to," I started but K'eegan leveled me with a look.

"No arguing," she said, stopping at the door, "Hope you don't mind, Corso took your speeder a few hours ago. He was going to check on our ship and then head over and keep Dorne company."

"That's fine," I replied, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, "Did he say how the surgery was going?"

"As far as they've been told, it's going smoothly."

"Thank the gods," I stood and headed for my attached refresher.

"I'll have some food ready for you," K'eegan informed me as she shut the door."

I walked in the 'fresher and turned on the water in the shower. I let it warm up as I stripped off my soaked clothes. Balling each piece up, I threw it in the corner. P6 would pick them up later.  
Stepping into the stall I closed the door. For few minutes, I just stood under the water and allowed it to cascade down my head and body, washing the sweat and some of my stress down the drain. I was terrified of what I'd be told when we returned to the medical center. If I allowed it, the fear could overwhelm me. Taking a deep breath, I picked up a cloth and started washing up. Rinsing off, I turned off the water, stepped out and grabbed a towel.

After drying off, I quickly dressed in another pair of soft black lounge pants, light blue athletic shirt and grey hooded pullover jacket. I sat down on the bed and pulled on a pair of socks and shoes. From a drawer on my night stand, I take out a vibroblade in a sheath. I double check the blade before fastening the whole thing to my left ankle. I reach into the same drawer and pull out a small hold out blaster in an ankle holster. Pulling up my right pants legs, I affix the holster to my other ankle. Standing up, I make sure my pants hide the weapons, before heading back to the 'fresher. I double checked my hair in the mirror and completed my ablutions. Grabbing a backpack, I stuffed some clothes into it. 

Throwing the bag over my shoulder, I stepped out of my bedroom and followed my nose to the kitchen. When the opportunity presented itself K’eegan loved to cook and she was very good at it. Living on a spaceship, constantly world hopping, she didn't always get the chance to cook and when the occasion presents itself, she would take advantage of it. A plate of delectable nerf steak was sitting on the counter waiting for me and it made my mouth water to smell it.

Sitting down on the stool at the counter, she pushed the plate in front of me and ordered, "Eat up."

Picking up a knife and fork, I cut into the meat and took a bite. I couldn't stop the moan as the flavor exploded in my mouth. After swallowing, I said, "That's delicious Sis," and cut another piece of steak and ate it.

With a smile, she replied, "Thank you." Looking at the bag I had set on the floor next to my seat, she asked, "What's in the bag?"

Swallowing I answered, "Clothes," before taking another bite.

"Why?"

Surprised she really needed to ask, I said incredulously, "So, I can change at the med center."

"Why?"

"Really?!" slips out, without thought. I raise an eyebrow and add, "So I don't stink?"

Now my sister gives me an exasperated look, "K'agan, with at least three of us at the hospital we can take it in shifts. You can come back here, sleep, change and clean up."

Shaking my head, I tell her, "Thank you Sis but I can’t ask you to stay. I'm sure you've got some place to go, a shipment you need to deliver."

"Nothing that won't wait," she informs me, as she finishes her steak. 

"I do appreciate it K'eegan," I said, as I use my fork to play with a green vegetable on my plate, "I just..I can't leave him." I try to find the words, "I'll be fine at the med center."

"No."

"K'eegan," I start.

"No, you won't stay at the med center," I'm starting to get irritated with my sister. She's being the bossy older sister again. We're twins but she's slightly older and has always lorded it over me and used it to boss me around.

"I can take care of myself," I grind out.

"Most times, I agree," she said, leaning against the counter, "but right now you’re focused on Aric."

"Yeah," I allow.

"So you focus on Aric and we'll take care of you," K'eegan explains, "Which includes sometimes making you take care of yourself." 

Shaking my head, I realize I won't win this argument, so instead I ask, "So what's your plan?" because I know she has one.

"We'll take it in shifts. At least one person will always be at the hospital with Aric," she explained, "while the other two will be taking care of themselves, eating, sleeping, showering, whatever."

As I finish off my food, I tell her, "This is really too much Sis."

"It's not," she replies, standing up, she picks up our plates and puts them in the sink. P6 will clean up later. "You'll be no good to anyone if you don't take care of yourself and if no one is here to make you take care of yourself you won't!"

I have to admit she's right. "Thanks."

"Family first," she says, picking up a bag I hadn't seen.

"Family first," I agree with a smile, "What's in the bag?"

"Food and necessities," my sister says, shouldering the bag, "No reason we should have to eat the crap in the vending machines," she explains as she walks out the room, leaving me sitting on the stool."

"Come one K'agan," K'eegan calls from the living room, "the cab should be here any minute." 

Hurrying into my room, I empty my bag on the bed. Instead of clothes, I put a datapad into it, along with my wallet, a book, some protein bars and a water bottle with a small filter. Just as I finished I heard my sister yell, "Cab's here!" 

Heading back to the living room, I followed my sister out on to the landing pad. A yellow taxi was waiting for us. We jumped into the back and I told the driver, "Republic Medical Center."

The driver nodded his understanding and took off without a word. As we sat quietly in the cab, my thoughts drifted to Aric, my mate. That thought still stunned me. The more I think about maybe it shouldn't...

We had been forced together after the betrayal of the original Havoc squad members while on Ord Mantel. We learned to work together on Coruscant. This was my first command, and I found if I dismissed Aric's justified anger he had a lot he could teach me. As we finished our mission on the capital world, we had forged a friendship and we were working together like a well-oiled machine.  
As we trudged through the swamps on the ruined world of Taris, dodging poisoned rakghoul claws, our relationship seemed to grow past friendship. During a particularly viscous fight, I was sure one of the monsters scratched and infected my squad mate. Afterwards, I checked him over for a poisoned injury and I was overwhelmed with relief when I didn't find one. That was moment I realized I was beginning to care about my grouchy partner. 

Nar Shaada was another eye opening experience. Flirting with Jonas Balkar had made me feel like a desirable woman, not just a soldier. At first I took Aric's grumbling as disapproval for my "unprofessional" behavior. It wasn't until I returned from my date the next morning and found him in the ship's gym beating the heavy bag and covered in sweat, that I realized how upset he actually was. When he saw me, shoes in hand and in the same clothes as the night before, he refused to speak to me and pummeled the bag even harder. At that moment I realized he was jealous as Jonas claimed. If I hadn't been blind to Aric's unspoken desires I would never have picked the SIS agent over Aric! I wanted to smack the Cathar upside the head! If he had just SAID something we could have avoided this! Sigh.

By the time we finished up on Tattoine our friendship was back on track and we had taken a few tentative steps towards a romantic relationship. Working with all the wealthy and privileged nobles on Alderaan frustrated both of us and drew us closer both professionally and romantically. After tracking down the Havoc traitors, I received my promotion to Captain and appointed Aric my executive officer. He as my rock and always had my back. He deserved the promotion. 

After a short break, we returned to duty and picked up a returning spy on Tattoine. I was surprised to find Balkar at the spaceport to give us our mission brief and I couldn't help but flirt with him. This time though, for a totally different reason. I wasn't interested in the handsome SIS agent, I just wanted to drive Aric nuts. It worked! Wow!! Did it!! 

Just as my thoughts drifted to my encounter with Aric after seeing Jonas again, I heard my sister say, “We’re here!” as she jumped out of the taxi.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews please!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, real life has been busy! Hopefully you'll enjoy this installment! Review and let me know what you think! Thanks

As I followed her out of the vehicle, K'eegan paid the driver. After getting his credits, the taxi took off, heading to his next fare. We shouldered our bags and head for the doors that opened automatically as we approached. Heading down the corridor and around a corner we found a bank of elevators. Pushing the button we waited for a car to arrive.

My twin finally broke the silence, "I'm sure he's doing well."

I nodded my head almost mechanically. I had thought I was doing a decent job hiding my thoughts and fears but my sister nailed it in one. What if he hadn't made it through surgery and they were waiting for me to return to tell me?

As we stepped on to the elevator and pushed the button to head down to the floor where Elara and Corso were waiting, my sister added, "They would have called you if something went wrong."

"But what if…"

She cut me off, "Elara promised correct?"

"Yes."

"Then don't worry."

"I can't help it," I said, staring at the wall.

"I know."

"If it were Corso, gods forbid, you'd be just as bad," I rationalized, as the elevator stopped.

"You're right, gods forbid," she agreed, as she stepped off the elevator, "Just don't borrow trouble or worries K'agan."

And again my sister was right. I had enough to worry about without adding to it. Between my real worries for my mate, an image of him hooked up to the ventilator flashed through my mind, I truly didn't need to dream up something more. "No promises but I'll try," I said, as we walked down the corridor.

"That's all I ask," she said, as we rounded the last corner.

Corso stood as we came into view and said, "Captain."

"Major," Elara acknowledged from her place in a chair directly across my sister's crewmate.

"Major?" K'eegan questioned, as she sat down next to Corso and across from Elara. "When did you get promoted?"

I sat down on a couch directly to my sister's left and frowned. "After the operation on the Gauntlet," I said. "I was also awarded the Silver Crescent."

"Wow!"

"Yeah, wow," I answered sullenly.

"Not pleased?" K'eegan asked.

"No," I replied honestly, "So far that mission has cost me too much. The award is no consolation if I lose Aric."

"So far you haven't sir," Elara informed me. "They came out a short time ago and gave us an update." From the look on my face, she continued, "The surgery is proceeding as planned and Captain Jorgan is still with us."

"Anything else," I asked.

"No," my medic shook her head, "They wouldn't give us a lot of detail as you weren't here."

"Why do they need K'agan?" my sister asked.

I grimaced as Dorne replied, "She holds Captain Jorgan's medical proxy in the event of injury or incapacitation."

I closed my eyes and shook my head at my now evil twin's slow smile. "She does," K'eegan said.

"Yes," Elara replied and before I could stop her, added, "And Captain Jorgan holds hers."

"What do our parents think of that?" my sister asks.

I cringe and sink in my seat. I never told my family I changed my medical proxy and next of kin notification. Now my sister knew…

K'eegan's smile grew wide. With that one tidbit of information, she knows exactly how I felt for my executive officer. I might as well have written it in bold marker across my forehead, 'K'agan loves Aric!'

"What shall you give me to not tell our parents?" my purposely wicked sister asked, as a grin spread across her face and she rubs her hands together.

Puzzled, Corso said, "What's the big deal Captain? I hold your medical proxy."

Now it's my turn to smirk! Oh dear sweet, innocent Corso! Thank you for evening the playing field.

"I won't tell them if you don't," my twin and I say at the same time. We both started laughing.

"I'll keep your secret from the family if you keep mine?" K'eegan offers.

"Done," I quickly agree, before she can change her mind. We reach out and shake on it, sealing the deal.

We sit quietly for a few minutes, before Elara looks at me and breaks the silence, "I didn't realize your parents were still alive, sir." I cringe. "You never talk about them."

I slouch further down on the couch and sigh. She's right I never talk about them.

"You haven't told her?" my sister asks incredulously.

"Told me what?" Dorne asks my sister.

Shaking her head, K'eegan replies, "Who she is exactly."

"Elara," I said, getting my medic's attention, "My name is K'agan Kazik."

While not famous per say, most people know our last name. It has become intertwined with the family business, TransInterStellar shipping. Plus my mother was well known for her philanthropic ventures and as my brother takes over the family business, my father is moving more heavily into galactic politics. It was hard to not know the name.

"Yes, I know," she said, with almost a 'duh' sound in her voice.

"Kazik," I empathize, hoping she'll catch on without me spelling it out.

"Yes…" she drew out, slowly seeming to put the puzzle pieces together. She turned and studied me quizzically. "Not THE Kazik family? The shipping tycoons?"

"Yes," I admitted.

"How are you related?" Elara asked, "Distantly?"

"Nope," I answer, with a wry smile, "My parents are R'yan and Keelin Kazik."

Dorne sits back on in chair seemingly stunned by the revelation for a long moment.

Worrying that I might have offended my squad mate and friend, I explain, "While not a secret exactly, I try and keep my identity on a more need to know basis. If people figure it out they assume, like you did, that I am some distant relation. This is not information I'd want getting back to the Empire." Looking at her intently, "I was going to tell you. It just didn't seem to come up."

"I understand sir," Elara replied immediately, "For your safety it is best to keep it to yourself and as few others as possible." She looked at my twin and added, "For both of you."

"Exactly," K'eegan said.

Turning to look at me, from her chair, Elara asks, "Sir, if I may ask. Why don't you want your family to know about the changes in medical proxy?"

"That is a whole other issue," my sister answered for me, with a small smile.

"Which is?" Dorne said.

I started to explain, "I haven't told my family…"

K'eegan interrupted me, "She means we haven't told our mother," stressing the last word.

Frowning at my twin, I continue, "I haven't told my mother about Aric." I change position on the couch, drawing my legs up underneath me, "She knows I'm in charge of a Havoc squad."

My sister stopeds me again with, "I'm sure that went over well." Obviously mimicking someone, K'eegan adds, "No, Baby that isn't safe."

I couldn't help but smile. K'eegan was right and she did a great impersonation of our mother. It was an on-going argument between our mother and us. She was not pleased that her two daughters hadn't pick jobs more "appropriate" for a "young lady," not to mention safer. "I just haven't mentioned my squad mates or their species." I tell Elara, "The less she knows the better."

My medic looked at me puzzled, so I explained, "If my mother knew I had feeling for Aric, she would start trying to play matchmaker and if she knew he was Cathar, she'd be relentless!"

"I'm not getting any younger," my sister mimicked again, "When will I have grandbabies to spoil?" She made a face and continued in her own voice, "I can't speak for K'agan but what she doesn't understand is I'm not sure I want kids yet. I definitely won't let her force me into it!"

"Pretty much," I agree, "With the right guy I can see a future with kids in it but I enjoy my job and I'm not ready yet."

Elara nodded her understanding. Before anything else could be said, Dr. Jeffre came through the door. He looked exhausted. His blonde hair was disheveled, there were bags under his eyes and his shoulders were slumped, like the weight of the world was resting on them. He was still in his scrubs, blood I was sure belonged to Aric dotting it. What scared me though was the frown on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews please.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I got this chapter out a little faster! Yay! I also made some head way on this story! Yay! I can’t wait to finally see the finished product! As always, let me know what you think! Review please!

As he walked across the room, I seemed to forget how to breathe and I started to shake. 

“Breath K’agan!” my sister ordered, as she leaned towards me and rested a hand on my leg. I looked at my twin with my panicked eyes, seeking some kind of reassurance. She seemed to sense it and said, “Remember, no matter what happens I will always be here for you!” 

Somewhat comforted, I took a deep breath and released it, preparing to hear what was to come, hoping that everything would turn out for the best.  
With a sigh he plopped down in the remaining chair, next to Elara and across from my couch. Leaning back, he closed his eyes and seemed to relax for a moment.  
“Doctor,” I prompted after a long, tension filled few seconds.

“It was touch and go in there,” Dr. Jeffre answered, “I almost lost him.”

I grabbed Elara’s hand and squeezed it. Corso stepped up behind K’eegan and laid a hand on her shoulder in comfort. I saw her reach up and gently squeeze it.  
“He’s in critical condition,” the doctor informed us, “And it’s still touch and go for the foreseeable future,” he continued, “but he made it.” The room seemed to release a collective breath at the positive news. 

“When can I see him?” I asked urgently. I needed to see him with my own eyes, see that he’s still alive.

Scanning a pad he had with him, Dr. Jeffre replied, “He’s in recovery right now. They’re prepping him for the kolto tank. You can see him when they’re done.”  
“Thank you,” I whisper, relief that we made it this far washing over me. 

“He’s not out of the woods,” the doctor started, before I interrupted him.

“I realize that,” I said, looking across at him, “Just thank you for getting him this far. Without you and Elara,” I broke off with a catch in my voice.

I don’t miss the questioning look my sister shoots me and I know there will be questions about my relationship with Aric later but luckily for now she says nothing for now.

“You’re welcome,” Doctor Jeffre replied, before continuing, “Now, the surgery went well enough. I repaired most of the damage to his chest. As we suspected he was still bleeding internally. Both lungs were burned and damaged, causing them to collapse.” I’m sure the doctor could see the fear written on my face and continued, “I stitched up any bleeding blood vessels I could find and treated his lungs. I left a chest tube inserted to drain off any excess fluid. If I missed anything the kolto will take care of it.”

“Long term prognosis?” I was aware that the damage to his heart and lungs could have future implications. 

The doctor shook his head, and replied, “I can’t say for sure. His lungs will be scarred and that may give him problems down the road. It could be as simple as making him more susceptible to illness and disease or it could be much worse, I just don’t know at this point.”

I nodded my understanding and wait for the doctor to continue. 

“His arm,” he started, “I know I said just plate and screws but the damage was worse than I suspected.” I sucked in a startled breath and prayed to the gods he didn’t cut off my mate’s arm. 

“Don’t worry,” he quickly attempted to reassure me, “I didn’t amputate it. Instead I replaced the bone in upper arm. The blaster bolt went through, tearing a gaping hole in the humerus, vaporizing it in the bolt’s wake and damaging the surrounding muscles. There was nothing left to work with, so instead, I replaced them with cybernetic replacements. Once it heals, externally you won’t be able to tell the difference, though that arm will be noticeably stronger than the other.”

‘That works,’ I thought, though I was still worried about his back and spine. I didn’t say anything and allowed the doctor to continue.

“Now his back,” he continued, “That’s where things got tricky.”

My breathing catches at those words and my anxiety ramps up. Noticing my distress, my sister reached over and grabbed my hand, holding it and offering some comfort.  
The doctor ran a tense hand through his hair, before saying, “I’m not sure how he stayed on his feet and made it back to the rendezvous point. At best, I’m positive he couldn’t feel his left leg after the hit, and more likely he couldn’t feel either one.”

My tears started streaking down my cheeks afresh. K’eegan squeezed my hand and said, “He’s still alive. It’s okay.”

“If I may sir,” Elara said, from her place on the other side of my couch.

“Go ahead,” I managed to whisper.

“He didn’t walk back, Fourex carried him,” she explained. “Captain Jorgan was working to get the data out of the computers. He was leaning over a terminal when reinforcements arrived.”

“He holo’d me and said they were about to be overrun,” I added.

“Yes sir, I remember,” Dorne agreed, “Apparently, according to Fourex, right after that holo the Captain was struck in the back by a blaster bolt at short range. The force of it spun him around and he was hit twice more.”

My tears start to fall harder, as I start to imagine it in my head, seeing my mate shot each time. 

“Fourex added that Captain Jorgan didn’t go down. Propped against the data banks, he returned fire, not giving up his share of the fight and killing his attackers.”   
Noting my distress, my twin shifts and moved closer to me on the couch. She pulled me into a tight hug. “Stop it! He’s alive,” she whispered in my ear. I slowly calmed down and my medic continued her explanation.

“Before the Captain could slip to the floor, Fourex picked him and slung him over his shoulder,” she said, “the droid returned enemy fire while carrying his squad mate to safety.”

I owed Fourex more than I had even realized. “I’ll be sure to thank him again later. Maybe get him a new Republic issued blaster rifle.” Seeing the quizzical look on the doctor’s face, “He’s a unique gung ho bot.”

That caused everyone in the room, who had ever met Fourex to smile.

With a matching grin, the doctor said, “I’ll have to meet this droid sometime.” Flipping through some pages on the tablet, he continued, “The blaster hit to his lower back did some internal damage to his organs and it also damaged the nerves in his lower back.”

Looking at him urgently I managed to ask, “Will he be able to walk?”

“I don’t know for sure,” he explained, “the kolto should repair the damage but only time will tell for sure.”

Paralyzed. My mate could be paralyzed. I keep trying to tell myself that there are worse things that could have happened, for instance he could be dead but it isn’t working. If he couldn’t feel his legs, he couldn’t stay in Havoc squad and he couldn’t have my back. I’m so used to having him with me I’m not sure what I’d do. Aric is always the one I lean on, my strength. I close my eyes and lay my head on K’eegan’s shoulder. She pulled me closer and runs a hand across the rows in my hair.

Seeing my distress, the doctor says, “Let’s not borrow trouble. That is only a possibility. Let the kolto do its work. We’ll know more down the road.”

“Only worry about what you can control K’agan,” my sister whispered in my ear.

I know they’re both right but it still takes me a few minutes to get my emotions back under control. Finally I take a deep breath, sit up and wipe the tears off my face. Just as I am about to speak a beep sounds. 

Looking down at the pad, Doctor Jeffre checks something, flipping through a couple pages on the tablet. After finishing, he says, “Everything is ready. Captain Jorgan is in the tank, you can head back and visit him.” When he sees everyone excitedly start to stand, he adds, “Just two at a time.”

Corso squeezes my sister’s shoulder and looks at Elara. I almost miss the imperceptible nod of her head, before he starts, “You too head back first and see him. Elara and I will wait out here.” 

Looking up at my sister’s crewmate, I said, “Thank you,” and he smiles at me. Glancing over at my medic, I add, “Thanks both of you. I need to see him.”  
“I know,” she replies. “I’ll stay here with Corso.”

“If you don’t mind Elara,” the doctor interrupts, “I haven’t eaten in hours and I was wondering if you’d accompany me to an early lunch.” Suddenly unsure he rapidly says, “We can discuss Captain Jorgan’s ongoing medical treatment.”

I can’t help but smile at the light blush covering the pair’s cheeks. “Go ahead,” I urge my medic, happy for her.

“Go,” Corso encourages her with a grin, “I’ll be fine here by myself.”

“I would love to, Jayd,” Dorne agreed with a happy smile. I couldn’t help remembering how my medic looked at the doctor when we first met him and I am so excited for her.

“I’ll take Major Kazik back to see Captain Jorgan and then we can head out,” Doctor Jeffre said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review please!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This one is a little short but it was the perfect place to stop. Hopefully you’ll enjoy it! Review and let me know what you think.

Standing, we clasped hands as we followed the doctor down the hall, around a corner and a short way down the next corridor. As we passed the rooms and heard the hum of medical equipment, I realized we were in the Intensive Care Unit. Continuing into the ward, I noticed every other room was occupied by a kolto tank or two. In between the rooms, watching over the patients was a nurses’ station. We passed a few more doors before Dr. Jeffre led us into a small room on the left. 

My eyes were immediately drawn to the kolto tank sitting on the wall opposite the observation window. While I was terrified to see my mate floating in the tank, and the damage done to his body, I also needed the reassurance that he was still here with me. I was holding my breath, when my eyes finally latched on to him. It felt like someone sucker punched me in the gut and knocked all the air out of my lungs.

"Oh Aric!" I heard my sister whisper. 

It ripped me apart to see his broken, battered and bruised body floating in the green liquid. The center of his chest was burned and shattered by a large blaster bolt hole. The wound of to his arm tore it open from just below his shoulder to nearly his elbow and was so deep that the metal of the replacement "bone" was visible. As he floated in the fluid, the burned black edges of the wound to Aric’s back were just visible. My emotions overwhelmed me and my lungs refused to work, I couldn’t draw any air in. Black pinprick spots appeared at the edge of my vision. Last I felt my knees give out from under me. 

"K'agan!" my sister said, as she caught me underneath both arms and steadied me.

"Here," a voice said, "have her sit down." I felt a chair pushed up against the back of my legs and I fell down heavily.

My eyes filled with tears, as the encroaching darkness threatened to pull me under. If I didn’t remember how to breathe soon I’d pass out. 

“Listen to me!” K’eegan’s voice commanded, making me wonder if she’d been trying to get my attention for a while. “Please K’agan breathe, in and out with me. Come on you can do it,” she instructed in my ear, when I continued to struggle. “Slow you can do this,” as she laid a gentle hand of support on my shoulder. 

Finally, I drew in a couple small breaths and the blackness started to recede. The muscles in my chest began to relax and the band constricting my chest loosened. I started gulping in air, easing my greedy lungs.

“Easy sister,” I heard as a hand tightened on my shoulder.

Looking up at my twin, I replied, “Thanks K’eegan.”

With a tilt of her head she acknowledged me. “K’agan look past his injuries,” she instructed, “He’s here, alive. He’s hurt but still strong and he hasn’t slipped away.”   
I couldn't stop myself from glancing back at Aric floating in the tank. She was right. My mate was still here, alive. Though he was hurt, he still fighting. He hadn't yet given in and I couldn't. He needed me to be here for him, to be strong for him, when he couldn't and to fight for him, to ensure he got the best care possible. I felt the weight on my chest start to lighten.

"And wow! He does he have a lot to live for!" K'eegan said, from where she was kneeling beside me.

When I noticed what my twin was looking at, I blushed. "K'eegan!" I admonished her, "Don't look at that!"

She smiled at me and turned back to look at the tank. "Can't help it!" 

"Yes, you can!"

"Ok," she admitted, with a pointed look back at my XO's naked, well-endowed form, “I don't want to stop looking!"

"Gah!" I growled at her, as I reddened further. "K'eegan!" 

With the 'evil big sister' look, she said, "Please tell me you've taken advantage of that!"

I buried my beet red face in my hands. My twin always knew just what to say to embarrass me. I wasn't a prude by any stretch, I just preferred to keep some things private and she was well aware of it. "Enough sister!" I said, "keep your eyes off my ..." I stuttered to a stop. 

She quirked an eyebrow at me and asked, "Your what K'agan? What exactly is Aric to you?"

'Damn!' she'd got me flustered and if I didn't pull it together quick, she'd never let this go. "Keep your eyes off my XO K'eegan," I responded, trying to look her directly in the eye, "Aric is my friend and XO."

"Is that all he is?"

I wasn't hiding or embarrassed of the fact that Aric was my mate; I just preferred to tell him first, before anyone in my family found out. I love him and he deserved that much. "No," I answered, honestly, "He's more than that."

"How much more?"

I looked directly at her, "None of your business. I'm not having this conversation with you."

Staring at me, my sister lips turned up into a small smirk, she suspected how much I wasn't saying. Hopefully she wouldn't push the issue right now. I wouldn't tell her.  
Aric would hear it first I vowed to myself.

Nodding her acquiescence, K'eegan said, "For now, keep your secrets but you will tell me eventually."

"Maybe," I acknowledge.

"Oh, you'll tell me," and the evil sister smile was back. Ugh.

"Feeling better," the voice I heard earlier asked.

Looking around I saw a nurse, behind me. "Yes, thanks for the chair," I said to her.

"I will be Captain Jorgan's primary care nurse," she said, "If I can be any help let me know."

"Thank you, ummm," I replied, looking for a name tag.

"Sorry sir," she answered, "I'm Nurse Hayle Pencot, sir but you can call me Hayle." She offered me her hand.

Taking her hand I shook it and said, "Hayle, I'm Major K'agan Kazik but call me K'agan."

"Thank you sir." Having been privy to our conversation she continued, "The wound to his back prevented us from covering the Captain."

"Not a problem," my sister answered before me, "I've enjoyed the view!"

I didn't rise to the bait and just ignored my twin, as Doctor Jeffre joined us.

"Major Kazik is the patient's medical proxy and will be making all medical decisions in regards to his care," he said.

"Yes sir," responded Nurse Pencot. 

"My sister and I have a couple of friends with us;" I started to explain, "One of us will always be with Captain Jorgan. If anything changes or you need an approval they will always know how to get hold of me."

"Yes sir," the nurse said again and noted something on a pad.

I got up and walked to the tank, my eyes never leaving my mate floating inside. Standing in front of it, I laid my hands on the glass. This close, the damage to his chest stood out and broke my heart. Leaning my forehead against it, I cried, "Oh Aric!" 

From just over my shoulder, I heard the doctor say, "I left the wounds open so the kolto would have easier access. It looks bad but it should help it heal better and faster."

"It's just hard," I whispered. It wasn't just the wounds. Yes, they were bad but it was more than that. It was the wires and tubes running into the kolto, and connecting to my mate. It was the chest tube pushed into his lungs. It was the hiss of the respirator and the tube still down his throat breathing for him. It was the hum of the machines keeping him alive. I sighed to keep from crying again.

"I know," the Doctor Jeffre, "But we're doing everything we can for him. We won't quit."

"I won't either," I answered. I pulled the chair across the room, as near to Aric as I could get. Sitting down I curled up in the chair and watched my XO floating in the liquid, "I won't either," I murmured, "I won't either...."

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews please!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hopefully you enjoy this chapter as much as the last. I enjoy hearing from you. Let me know what you think, review!

As slowly as each minute and each hour dragged by, the days flew past in a haze of activity. There were never enough hours in the day to get everything done and as much as I fought my sister on it, she always made sure I went home in the evening to eat, relax and sleep. She insisted Aric wouldn’t want me to run myself down caring for him, when others were there to help. I knew she was right but I hated leaving him. 

When I was at the hospital, I was kept busy making sure Aric received the best medical treatment possible. Doctor Jeffre was highly skilled and respected in the medical community and I trusted he had my mate's best interest at heart, but other’s not so much. The military staff was spread thin and worn out caring for the large number of injured soldiers that came with a protracted war effort. The private sector medical personnel, while sympathetic to the plight of their counterparts, had been burned to many times by the Republic government not paying the bills incurred for soldiers’ care. 

I quickly found the best way to make sure medical doors were opened for my XO, was Doctor Jeffre's reference and my last name. I hated throwing it around but I'd do anything to ensure Aric got the absolutely best treatment possible. My family’s deep pockets guaranteed payment, easing civilian medical staff's concerns. It did make me worry that my comrades-in-arms were not getting the best attention possible but I could do little about that right now. I did make a note to talk to my father about putting soldiers and veteran issues on his political agenda.

The evenings were more difficult. My sister always made sure I went home at a “reasonable” hour, ate and rested. Back at the apartment, it was hard to focus on anything; I was constantly distracted by my thoughts of Aric. Not just my worries, though those were by far the most painful, but also by my fantasies. I found myself daydreaming about how he’d react when I spilled my secret to him. I dreamt of our future together, careers and family and what each might bring…promotions, safety, and a home of our own…children. I never envisioned myself as a mother, but with Aric I could see it. His children growing inside me, watching him hold our kits for the first time and hearing them call me “mama.” I could see it and I worried it the nightmare I was currently living might shatter that dream, taking it away before I even had the chance to live it.

I tried to distract myself from my fears by keeping busy while at the apartment. I tried painting. I took up my paintbrush and started working on the unfinished painting sitting on my easel. For a time, it seemed to be going well. The image I had seen in my previous efforts started coming out. I spent some time adding more touches to the image, a swipe of the brush here and a splash of color there. A streak of red turned into a sea of red. Blood red, shimmering in the light…like the pool of blood that Aric lain in on the Gauntlet. Aric, who was in a kolto tank….gah! 

The next evening I decided to go for a run and wear myself out, hoping to sleep well later. I threw on my running gear, tank top, shorts and running shoes. I picked up a small pack containing my identification, some cash, holo-communicator and a vibroblade. I wasn’t going out without a weapon. I took the elevator down to the building’s lobby and as I went out the front door, I put on a headset and started listening to my favorite music. 

I loved running outside and set a fast pace. While it could be dangerous on the lower levels of Coruscant, up here it seemed to be a different world. There was no garbage on the streets, no vandalism, no one hanging out on the street corners and all the buildings were occupied by thriving businesses. It was flourishing, colorful, economically vibrant, and dynamic. Reaching my stride, I passed pedestrians, food vendors and street artists. 

As I worked off all my pent up energy and frustration, my mind and emotions settled. As I continued to run, my anxiety slowly began to drop and I felt better each footfall.   
After my long, hard run I rounded the last corner and headed home to the apartment building. I poured on the speed the last 100 meters, giving it all I had. With a last gasp, I reached the large glass doors and slowed to stop. I stood on the sidewalk, hands on my knees and gasping for air. 

The doorman droid opened the door for me and said, "Welcome back Miss K'agan."

"Thank you," I said, as I straightened up and walked back in the building. I was breathing hard, hot, and sweaty but I felt much better. 

Heading over to the bank of elevators I pushed the button and waited. When the doors opened, I stepped, pushed the button for our floor and they swished closed, as they started up, I took a couple of deep breaths. After a few moments, we reached our destination and I walked out. I headed for the kitchen and was surprised to find K'eegan cooking. Opening the refrigerator, I pulled out a bottle of water and twisted off the cap. Tipping it up, I took a couple of big swallows of the cool liquid.

Leaning against the counter, I said, “Not that I’m complaining that you’re cooking but what are you doing here Sis?”

“Elara’s at the medical center with Aric and Corso has the overnight shift, so I decided to spend the evening with you,” she explained, while stirring something in the pan. “And I’m aware your culinary skills haven’t improved, so if I want something edible this evening I’m cooking.”

She was right but I couldn’t resist sticking my tongue out at her. K’eegan returned the gesture as she stirred and we both broke out laughing.   
After I finally quit snickering, I said, “Thanks, I haven’t laughed liked that in a while!”

“You’re welcome!” 

"What are you making?"

"Spicy Gargon Gumbo,” my sister answered as she stirred the food in the pan again.

Leaning in, I attempted to grab a small taste from the pan but my twin was quicker and hit my fingers with the spoon. "No! Wait until it’s done!" 

"Just a bite," I whined.

"No," she said, waving the spoon at me. "Go take a shower and change. It will be done when you're finished."

"I'll be back in a few," I said, smiling, before I turned and walked out of the kitchen.

Shutting my bedroom door, I quickly stripped and took a shower. After I finished my shower and toweled off, I dressed in a large soft shirt and sweat pants. I headed back to the kitchen and found a large bowl of gumbo and a hunk of bread waiting for me on the table. Sitting down, I picked up the spoon, took a bite and closed my eyes when the spices hit my taste buds. I couldn't stop the moan of pleasure that escaped my lips. Swallowing, I took another.

"Oh my gods," I said, between mouthfuls, to my grinning sister sitting across from me, "K'eegan this is sinful!"

"Thank you!"

For the next few minutes, the only sounds in the dining room were the echo of spoons clinking against the sides of our bowls. As we finished off our dinner, I said, "It seems like all I've been saying to you tonight but thank you."

"You looked like you could use a good meal," she replied, before taking her last bite.

Standing I picked up our dishes, "Let me," I told her.

"Will do," she said, as she watched me clean up.

As I rinsed the dishes and put them in the washer, my sister asked, "How about a holo-film?" 

I nod and reply, "Ok, I'll finish up in here and meet you in the lounge."

Without a word my sister disappeared around the corner. I rinsed all the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, before wiping the counters down. Opening the door, I reached into one of the cupboards and grabbed a large bowl. From another cabinet I found a bag of chips, tore them open, and poured them into it. Picking up the dish, I walked over to the refrigerator, opened it and grabbed two bottles of water. I took my snacks and headed for the lounge.

Sitting down on the large couch next to K’eegan, I placed the chips between us and handed her a bottle. 

“Thanks,” she said, opening it and taking a drink.

“No problem,” I answered. “What’d you pick?” I asked, as I pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and covered my legs with it.

“Don’t remember the title,” K’eegan replied, as she grabbed a handful of chips, “Some holo-drama from Corellia.”

‘From home,’ I thought fondly. I hadn’t been back to my home world in quite a while and I was beginning to miss it. “Sounds good, start it up when you’re ready.”

Picking up the remote, my twin pointed it at the projector and pushed a button. The film started and we both got comfortable on the couch. We ate our snacks and passed a couple of hours in companionable silence, both ohhing and ahhing in all the appropriate spots. 

As the credits rolled, I stood up and stretched. Yawning, I said, “I think I’ll head to bed.”

“Me too,” my twin replied as she turned off the projector and stood. Giving me a quick hug, she said, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight K’eegan,” I replied, as she walked towards her room and I started to mine.

“Night K’agan,” she echoed with a smile and closed her door.

I closed mine and stretched again. Grabbing a pair of pajamas, I took off my clothes, gently folded them and laid them over the desk chair. I slipped into bed and pulled the covers up over me. Turning on my side, I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep. A short time later I drifted off into slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review Please!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not sure if I’ve said it before or not, but the bold text in this chapter is speech taking directly from SWTOR and the trooper story line, be it in person or by holo. Just thought I’d let you know.

What felt like only a few short hours later, I heard a gentle knock on my door and a voice calling out, “K’agan.”

“Yeah,” I managed to sleepily answer, as I propped myself on one elbow.  
“Miss K’eegan wanted me to wake you and inform you breakfast is in twenty minutes,” P6 said.

“Thanks P6,” I answered the droid, “Tell her I’ll be there.”

“Yes Miss K’agan,” the bot replied and I could hear my totter off.

Sitting up, I rubbed my tired eyes with both hands and dragged them down my face. With a sigh I stood up and tottered towards the bathroom to take care of my morning ablutions. After finishing, I dressed and walked back out and sat down on the bed. I put my shoes on and reattached my small holdout blaster and vibroblade to each calf. I pulled my pant legs back down, hiding them.

“Morning Major,” I heard Corso say, as I walked out to the kitchen and sat down on a stool.

“Morning Corso,” I answered, as K’eegan sat a bowl of food and a spoon down in front of me. “How was he last night?”

I took a bite as the man answered, “Nothing to report. He had a good night. It was quiet. Nothing happened.”

“Good,” I said, as I took another bite.

Finishing his breakfast, Corso stood, picked up his bowl and carried it over to the sink. He rinsed it and put it in the dishwasher. He finished his breakfast and stood up. Walking over to my sister, he stood behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him. Leaning down he kissed her neck and quietly said, “I’m going to head back to the ship and get some sleep.”  
Turning in his arms, she reached up and pulled his head down. She straightened and slowly, tenderly kissed him on the lips. As the embrace continued, the kiss begun to turn ever hotter until Corso finally pulled away from her. “Captain!” he said, “We’ve got observers.”

“I don’t mind,” I said, with a smirk.

“I do,” he grumped.

My sister giggled at that. He just pulled away and shook his head in amusement. “Night Captain,” he called over his shoulder, as he reached the door.

“Night,” she answered and I heard the door close. Turning to me, she asked, “Ready?”

I had already finished and taken care of my dishes. Nodding, I said, “Yes, just let me grab my backpack.”

“I’ll meet you at the door.”

I hurried to my room and picked up my bag. It was still stocked from my previous trips to the hospital but I grabbed a sketchpad and some pencils from my desk and threw them inside. Zipping it, I strode out and joined my sister at the doorway. “Let’s go,” I said, as I joined her.

Without a word, she pushed it open and we walked out on to the private landing pad. Our speeders were fueled and waiting for us. Climbing on, we each started our machines and revved the engines.

“After you,” K’eegan motioned with her hand.

With a small smile, I took off and head back to the medical center. My last few days had been spent, either at the hospital taking care of Aric or at home, trying to take care of myself. I was incredibly grateful for my sister’s company last night. She helped me keep my mind off Aric.

I zoomed in and out of traffic, my twin following closely behind me. We definitely got some looks from other drivers and pedestrians alike. I’d catch their eye as I flew past and looking in the rearview mirror I’d watch their heads snap around when an identical driver streaked past again. It was always fun to fool people, something my twin and I always enjoyed.

We quickly reached our destination and parked our bikes. We shut them off and locked them up, before heading into the building. As we walked across the atrium, I watched startled eyes follow us across. We passed the greeting droid without a word and took the elevator to the appropriate floor. Stepping out, my holo-communicator went off.

Looking at it, I noticed it was from Republic Command and growled. I’m sure this wasn’t going to be good. Glancing at K’eegan I said, “I’ve got to take this. I’ll catch up.”

“Ok,” she said, turning and continuing down the hall.

Thumbing it on, I waited for the image to come up. I wasn’t surprised when I was looking at General Garza.

“Major, this is General Garza. I need you to report to my office on Coruscant immediately,” she said.  
Not like I’d leave with Aric floating in a kolto tank and she knew that.

“General Rakton made his move –the Imperials have invaded dozens of Republic planets. Havoc squad is needed –immediately,” she continued.

No, no, no! Havoc squad was one man down!

I bit lip and calmly answered her, “Is there a plan on dealing with the invasion, General?”

 

“I’ll brief you on the details when you arrive. Move quickly. Garza out,” she replied as her image faded away.

I should have known she’d leave me in the dark. I frowned in thought. This didn’t sound good and I was sure I’d be forced to leave my mate here without me, while I did this mission without him. GRRRRRR….

I walked down the hall and found my sister talking quietly with Elara. Now that I thought about it, I wasn’t surprised to find her here. Corso would never have left unless had had been relieved and he was at the apartment when I got up. When I walked into the room, they stopped talking and looked at me.

“What’s wrong,” K’eegan immediately asked.

I was agitated and started pacing, as I answered, “I have to report to Republic Command.”

“Why?” Elara asked surprise evident in her voice.

“General Garza has a mission for us,” I said. I turned and started pacing back the other way. “She says Havoc squad is needed.”

“What about Aric?” my sister asked, “Your squad isn’t at full strength.”

Sighing, Elara said, “We haven’t been at full strength in the past.”

“True,” K’eegan agreed, “But Aric has always run the missions with her…always.”

And that was true. Since I took command of Havoc squad Aric had always been at my side, assisting me in whatever way he could. I’m not sure how I could do this without him.

“He’s just one man,” I whispered, not really believing it myself.

Looking at me sharply, my twin spit out, “Bantha shit!” We had yet to speak about my relationship with my XO but I knew she suspected that my feelings ran deeper that I voiced.

“That’s what Command believes,” I explained, as I dropped into a chair. I ran my hands over the braids in my hair. “They know we’re in a relationship but we aren’t married, though I’m not sure it would matter if we were.”

“You hold his medical proxy,” K’eegan tried.

“And if necessary and something changes, they can get hold of me over comms,” I said.

Sitting down next to me, my sister said, “I’m not sure this is a good idea. You’re not in the right place mentally to take on a mission.”

I propped my elbows on my knees, folded my hands together, and rested my chin on them. “I’m not disagreeing,” I mumbled, “I just don’t have a choice.”  
“K’agan,” my sister said, as she sat down next to me, put an arm around me and tried to comfort me.

“I’m not sure how to do this without him,” I said, as I covered my face with both hands.

“Sir, if I may,” I heard Elara say, from a nearby chair. Glancing up at her, she explained, “I know that it may be difficult without the Captain but I believe I speak for the whole squad when I say we will be there for you.”

“Thank you Elara,” I answered earnestly. I really had a great squad and I knew they would have my back but I really, really didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to leave Aric. Now wasn’t the time but I’d sworn an oath to protect the Republic and I’d uphold that oath, even if my heart wasn’t in it.

Eventually I stood up and said, “I guess I’ll head back to the ship and put my gear on, before heading up to Garza’s office.”

“Your armor is still at the apartment,” my twin reminded me.

“That’s right,” I agreed. “I’ll head there and change.”

“I’ll come with you sir,” Elara offered, as she stood.

I preferred she stay here as long as possible and had planned on calling the ship and having Yuun join me, but I didn’t feel like arguing with her. Before I could ask, K’eegan offered, “I’ll stay, just let me know what Command wants.”

“Thanks Sis,” I said, with a soft sigh of relief.

As we turned towards the door, K’eegan asked, “Aren’t you going to see Aric?”

I shook my head, and explained, “If I go in there right now, I won’t want to leave.” Taking a deep breath I continued, “Before we leave planet I’ll stop back by and set up everything up with his doctors since no one will be here.”

My twin looked at me like I had grown a second head, finally asking, “What do you mean no one will be here? I’m not leaving until you come back.”

“I know and I’ll be back in a few hours,” I said.

Shaking her head, my sister said, “K’agan, I intend on staying while you are away on your mission.”

I couldn’t let her do that! She’d already put her career on hold and I knew she had supply runs she needed to make. To keep her here indefinitely was just too much.

As I went to argue, K’eegan gave me a stern look and said, “It’s my decision!”

Again I tried to say something and she cut me off, “No arguments!”

With a small smile and a shake of my head, I said, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“We’ll talk more when I get back for Garza’s office,” I added, as I again turned for the door.

“I’ll be waiting.”

Without another word, I walked out the door and down the hall to the bank of elevators. Elara and I waited silently for the car to arrive. After taking it to the ground floor, we expeditiously stepped off and headed for the exit across the atrium, Elara directly off my left shoulder. The position Aric usually took…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review please!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This one is kind of short but it was the perfect break before starting the conversation with Garza, so I went with it. I know it’s been awhile since I lasted posted. I’m attending a writer’s conference a week from tomorrow and I had to concentrate on writing an original piece for a short story contest. I’ve got that done now, so for now I’m backing to writing this story. While, I plan on continuing my original work soon, I want to finish this first. I love it and I want to see K’agan through until Aric’s recovery. So don’t worry. I’ll be around.

I tried to shake that thought from my head. I couldn’t afford to dwell on my loss right now. I needed to get my head in the game and focus on the mission and my squad or I could get someone hurt or killed. I would NOT let that happen, if I could help it!

Just as we exited the building and stepped out into the Coruscant sunshine, Elara said, “Sir, I need to head back to the ship and put on my uniform.”

“Meet me at the entrance to the Senate Building in an hour,” I ordered.

“Yes sir,” Elara replied, as she turned to walk the short distance to the taxi stand.

“And Elara,” I called after her. “Thank you again.”

“Sir,” she questioned, turning back to look at me.

“For everything.” 

“You are welcome sir,” she said with a smile, before continuing on to the stand

Walking over to my speeder, I swung a leg over the machine and sat down. I started the engine and revved it, before putting it in gear. Finding a niche in the traffic flow, I settled in and headed back to my family’s apartment. While I flew, I tried to keep my mind off Aric by thinking about Rakton and the possible mission Garza was sending us on

As short time later, I landed on our private pad and shut down the bike. Climbing off the bike, I walked towards the entrance and pushed the large door open and called out for our droid. “P6?”

Toddling towards me, arms full of laundry, he answered, “Yes, Miss K’agan?”

“Is my armor clean and ready to go?"

“I finished it yesterday,” the bot promptly answered, “I put it back in your room in the closet this morning.”

“Thanks P6,” I called out, as I strode over to my room, entered and shut the door behind me.

Pulling off my shirt, I tossed it on the bed and continued into the bathroom. Grabbing my gear bag and boots, I walked back to the bedroom and threw it on the bed. From the dresser drawer, I snagged a long sleeved undershirt and leggings I wore beneath my armor set. I tugged the shirt on over my head. Next I pushed off the pants I was wearing and allowed them to puddle on the floor. Sitting on the bed, I put the leggings on and then turned my attention to the armor. I expertly put it on; legs, chest boots, and wrist guards. I picked up my gloves and helmet and carried them with me. 

I made my way back to the kitchen. Opening a drawer I found a meal bar and in the refrigerator a cold bottle of juice. Opening it, I took a bite of the bar and washed it down with a sip of juice. Leaning against the cabinet I finished my makeshift meal. I was almost positive I wouldn’t have time to eat, if I wanted to visit Aric and arrange his care with his doctors, before leaving the planet.

As I threw the wrapper in the trash, P6 came in and said, “Master K’addes called.”

“What did my baby brother want?” As he liked to remind me we were littermates and he hated it when I called him that. Of course being his sister, complaining about it, guaranteed I’d call him “baby brother.”

“He wished to alert me of his arrival this evening.”

K’addes, was a Jedi Knight and the “Hero of Tython,” a title he didn’t really care for. Like the rest of us, he spent most of his time off-world, in his case tackling problems for the Jedi council. I wondered why he was headed to Coruscant and if it was related to my mission. Unlikely but anything was possible. 

More than likely, if he arrived this evening I’d miss seeing him, which could be a good or bad thing depending on how you looked at it. I loved and missed my brother and I’d enjoy seeing him again but he was a Jedi and he’d sense something was wrong. He’d want to know what was going on and withholding information from a force sensitive could be difficult, keeping it from your kid brother, impossible! I wanted to tell him about what happened to Aric, I just didn’t want to explain our relationship. Just like with K’eegan, I wanted to tell my mate before my family found out.

“More than likely, I’ll be heading out today, let him know I’m sorry I missed him and I might be back in a few days,” I informed the droid, as straightened up and headed for the door.

“I will Miss K’agan,” the droid answered, as he followed me out. “I will clean your room in your absence and have it ready for your return."

“Thanks P6,” I said, as I started up the speeder and started to pull away.

“Be safe,” the droid called after me.

“Will do,” I yelled back. I angled the bike into traffic and took off.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review Please!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Wow! I’ve nearly caught up with what I had written! Only about a chapter ahead now! Crazy! Oh well! Hope you enjoy this one!

The trip to the Senate Plaza passed in a haze of traffic and lights. I zipped past open businesses and pedestrians, as I zig-zagged through other vehicles. Arriving at my destination, I pulled over to a stop near the entrance where Elara was waiting for me. 

Striding over to join her, I asked, “Ready?”

With a nod, she replied, “Whenever you are sir.”

“Let’s go,” I said, as we entered the cavernous building. 

We passed the statue in the entry way and made our way around the circle and into the main part of the building. We crossed the chamber and took the stairs up to General Garza’s office. Entering, we passed the secretary’s desk in the outer room and since she was expecting us, went into the General’s office.

**“Major, stand at ease,”** she said, as we saluted her. **“Let’s get straight to the situation at hand."**

‘Lets,’ I silently agreed. The sooner I finished this mission the sooner I could return to Aric’s side.

She explained, **“After we destroyed the Gauntlet, General Rakton called a ‘diplomatic summit’ with the heads of state of several Republic aligned planets along our borders.”**

This doesn’t sound good…and why the hells would they go?

**“The summit was held aboard a neutral space station, where Rakton’s troopers seized the heads of state by force. They are now hostages of the Empire.”**

Well, I saw that one coming. If you go to a meeting with the Empire, plan on being stabbed in the back.

**“How does this tie into Rakton’s invasion plans?”** I asked. 

While not a surprising move it was a curious one.

**“This is Rakton’s invasion plan,”** General Garza explained. **“With their leaders held hostage, our allies are allowing Imperial troops to pass through their systems and strikes us where we’re vulnerable.”**

Not a bad plan. It would give the Empire unmolested access to some of our lesser protected core worlds, before we could pull troops back to counter them. More importantly to me, at the moment, the security of Coruscant was at stake!

**“Our forces are at their limit. The Imperials will overwhelm us unless we rescue those heads of state and block Rakton’s invasion routes,”** Garza added.

**“What’s our intel on the hostages’ location,”** I asked. 

We need to know where they are, if we’re going to rescue them.

**“The station where the heads of state are being held is called Outpost 256. Imperial security is tight but we’ve developed an entry plan,”** the General answered.

Good! Otherwise she’s wasting time better spent with my injured teammate.

She continued, **“Helik, a diplomat for one of those worlds is flying there to surrender his government security codes. He’s volunteered to sneak your team aboard.”**

‘Brave man,’ I thought. If the Imperials found out they’d kill him for sure.

**“How can we minimize the risk to the hostages when we storm the station?”** I asked.

It would take time to reach the hostages, during that time they’d be vulnerable.

**“Lieutenant Yuun will be responsible for that portion of the plan,”** Garza explained. **“Your ship will ride along Helik’s detaching at the last second and landing in an unused maintenance hangar aboard the station.”**

So far, so good though it still doesn’t explain how we can protect the hostages from retribution during the operation.

**“Lieutenant Yuun will slice into the station’s security and stop any alarms from sounding while your storm the crew area and secure the hostages. Understood?”**

That would work, if nothing unforeseen happens. Unfortunately, it’s rare that everything goes according to plan. There was definitely potential for someone to be harmed.

**“I’m ready to begin immediately General,”** I answered.

I just wanted to get this mission over with, so I could return to the medical center. I hated being off world right now and running this mission without my XO felt wrong.

**“Helik will rendezvous with you at these coordinates. The Imperials are expecting him to deliver the security codes very soon, so move quickly,”** she said, as she pulled a datapad from a pocket.

I plan on it!

**“Remember, the safety of the Republic depends entirely on the safety of those men. Good luck.”**

No pressure or anything. Geesh! More importantly to me, Aric’s life depended on the security of Coruscant.

As I turned to walk towards the door, the General said, “Major.”

Stopping I glanced back and answered, “Yes Ma’am?”

“How is Captain Jorgan doing?”

“Still in the kolto tank,” I replied, “But slowly getting better.”

“Good, good,” she said. I waited for a second, before turning back and starting towards the exit again, only to have her stop me, “I had no choice Major.”

For a long moment, I stayed silent and refused to admit that I heard the General speak, finally I asked, “Permission to speak freely sir?”

“Go ahead Major,” she answered.

I turned back and looked at her, I reined in my emotions before speaking, “I realize Havoc squad is the best choice for his mission but we are not at full strength and there are always,” and I stress the last word, “other options. We are not the only spec force squad the Republic has.” 

There is ALWAYS a choice and while we may be the best squad for the job, we are NOT the only option for this mission and she knows it.

“You may not be the only spec force squad we have but you are the best,” Garza counters, “And this situation requires the best.”

“Maybe,” I acknowledge, “But we’re missing a key member of our squad and we aren’t the same without him, sir.” Silently I added, ‘I’m not the same.’ 

“I believe you can get the job done Major,” the General said.

“Probably sir,” I conceded. 

We stood quietly for a few moments. While she may or may not be sympathetic about my desire not to leave Aric, I don’t think she really understood how I was feeling. From what I heard, the other woman had always put her career and the military before any personal entanglements and expected others to do the same. 

“May I be dismissed sir?” I asked, “I have a few things I need to take care of before leaving the planet.”

“Dismissed Major,” she replied with a nod.

Without another word, I walked out the door, Elara at my shoulder. We continued silently down the corridor, stairs and across the main floor to the exit. I fumed the entire way. I did not want to do this mission.

“From the General’s point of view it makes sense to send us sir,” Elara bravely offered, “We are currently between assignments and we are on Coruscant.”

“We’re here because Aric is in a kolto tank in the med center,” I argued, “Leaving us a man down.”

“True, but we worked more than a man short before,” she returned, “And if I may say sir, we did it well.”

“We did,” I agreed, as I swung a leg over my speeder, “I just don’t like it!”

“I understand,” my medic agreed as she started her bike.

“It feels wrong without Aric,” I sighed.

“I know sir,” she agreed, “But the squad has your six.”

Taking a deep breath, I calmed my emotions and said, “Thank you Elara.”

“You are most welcome sir.”

“I’m headed back to the medical center,” I explained to my companion, “I need to speak to Aric’s doctors and arrange his care while I’m gone.”

“I can accompany you if you would like sir,” Elara offered.

“No, K’eegan is there. I should be okay,” I said. “You’re acting XO until Aric is back.” I refused to think about the possibility that he may never return. “I need you to inform the crew of our mission and prep the ship.”

“Yes sir,” she answered, sitting a little straighter on her speeder, “Thank you for your confidence sir.”

People always judged my medic for being Imperial, failing to look beyond the obvious, to the woman underneath. She was intelligent, competent and deserved this opportunity.

“You’re welcome,” I replied, “but you earned it.” Turning my bike towards the medical center, I called over my shoulder, “I should be back to the ship in two hours.”

“Don’t worry Major,” Dorne reassured, “We’ll be ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews please!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know it's been a long time but I haven't forgotten this story. It's been a crazy few weeks! First, the writing conference. I learned a lot and hope to use what I learned going forward. The bigger news, a literary agent read my first page of the original novel I've been writing and loved it! That was awesome enough on its own but it got better. At the mixer she sought me out for a conversation and at the end she said she'd "Hunt me down if I don't send it to her" when its finished. Needless to say, this inspired and renewed my excitement for my novel!
> 
> Second, a couple of days ago I cracked my patella (knee cap.) Sigh. My leg is in an immobilizer and I can't work. :( The upside of that is I've got a lot of time on my hands to write. So you should be seeing a few more chapters. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! And thanks for your patience with me!

Chapter 15

Nodding, I just revved the bike’s engine and took into traffic. I swerved and dodged through past vehicles and bikes, making good time back to the hospital. I parked in the lot, shut the speeder down and headed inside. I hurried across the atrium and took the elevator to the floor Aric was on. I waited impatiently, arms crossed and foot tapping, for the car to reach our destination. I hurried off when the doors opened and walked down the hall looking for Doctor Jeffre.

Reaching Aric’s room, I peeked in and saw K’eegan sitting in the chair they brought in for us, reading.

“Hey Sis,” I said.

Glancing up from her data pad, she replied, “How’d the meeting go?”

I frowned and growled under my breath. I did not want to leave! Damn it!

“That good huh?”

I took off my gloves and forcefully shoved them into my helmet. I wanted to throw the whole thing across the room, but managed to restrain myself. Instead I put them down in the empty chair next to my sister and started pacing to relieve some tension. My twin watched and waited patiently, until I stopped and took a deep breath, and said, “We’re leaving the planet as soon as I speak with Aric’s doctors and arrange his care.”

“Well damn,” K’eegan said, shaking her head.

At that moment, Nurse Pencot walked in, and smiled at me, and said, “Major! I wasn’t expecting you. Your sister said something about a meeting.”

Running an agitated hand over the braids in my hair, I answered, “We just finished up,” I took a deep breath, and added, “Can you page Doctor Jeffre for me? I have some things I need to discuss with him.”  
“Yes sir,” she replied, as she clicked a few buttons on a pad she was carrying. After sending the message, she quickly got to work taking her patient’s vital statistics and noting them on his chart.  
“Thanks,” I whispered, as I moved closer to the kolto tank and leaned my forehead against the cool surface. Even separated by glass and liquid, being as near as possible to Aric seemed to calm me.

When she finished, she commented, “He’s looking better.”

Though I’d spent the last few long days with my mate in this room, I’d avoided truly looking at his wounds. They were a stark reminder of just how bad he’d been injured and it hurt my heart, so I avoided looking at them if at all possible. Now I’d be forced to leave him here while I left for a mission. The pain in my chest was almost physical, as tears streaked down my face. Damn! I didn’t want too!  
I knew she was right; but I couldn’t help but worry. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and centered myself. When I was feeling a little better, I turned slightly and with one last steadying breath I opened them. I couldn’t stop the real smile that spread across my face. Aric truly did look better, stronger than he had in days! I’d been so worried and scared I’m not sure I really saw him and not the wounds.

“He is getting better,” I agreed.

At that moment Dr. Jeffre walked into the room. “He is,” the man readily agreed.

“Doctor,” I greeted.

“What have I said about that,” he scolded, “Just call me Jayd, Major.”

“Only if you call me K’agan,” I answered with a grin.

He smiled. “I’ll try if you do.”

“Deal,” I agreed.

“Now,” the doctor said, “You needed to speak to me?”

With a sigh, I leaned back against the glass behind me, and replied, “Yes, I wanted to speak to you about Captain Jorgan’s care.”

Now the doctor was puzzled and replied, “We are doing all we can for him and we will continue to do so.”

“I know that." I reassured him, as I reached back and laid a hand against the tank, “You’ve done a great job. I just need to ensure it continues after I leave.”

“Leave?” he questioned.

“My squad is scheduled to leave planet as soon as possible,” I explained to the doctor, “we’ve been called back for an urgent mission.”

“Without your XO?” the doctor asked his surprise clearly evident.

“I don’t have a choice,” I said, running a hand across my braids.

“I know Major,” he reassured me, “Let’s sit down,” gesturing to the chair next to K’eegan. He pulled a third one over and sat, “I’m sure you would like to discuss the Captain and his care while you are gone.”

“Please,” I said, sitting down in the last empty chair, between my sister and the doctor.

“Now, as we mentioned earlier, Captain Jorgan is getting better,” the Doctor reiterated, “In fact, if he continues to improve at this rate, we may be able to take him out of the kolto tank in the next few days.”

That was good news! Or it least it would have been if I were going to be here! Stupid mission! “That’s good,” I managed to agree.

“He may be unconscious for a time after removal,” he explained as he went through Aric’s chart. “We’ll bring him around slowly.”

I nodded and asked, “What is his long term prognosis?”

Reaching out, K’eegan held my hand in support. Glancing at her, she offered me a tiny encouraging smile.

“Let’s start with the very good,” Jayd said, as we thumbed through the data on his pad, “The Captain’s arm has healed well. After some therapy, he should regain total use of the limb and in fact it should be stronger than his other.”

“That is good news,” I readily agreed. I felt a tiny bit of tension leaving my body.

“As for his lungs,” the doctor continued, “As you know he took a blaster bolt to the chest, doing extensive damage to the area.”

“Yes,” I agree softly, clutching my sister’s hand in fear.

“He’s suffered some scarring to his lungs, he’ll have reduced lung capacity and he’ll be more susceptible to viruses and bacteria.” 

I bit my lip, waiting for him to finish. 

“In the future he’ll need to be careful but all this things considered,” he said, “he’s extremely lucky.”

‘Thank the gods,’ I thought, as I closed my eyes in relief. Working up my courage, I finally asked about the injury that concerned me the most, “And his back?”

Shaking his head the doctor admitted, “I don’t know.”

K’eegan pulled my shaking body into a tight hug and asked for me, “Please explain.”

“The injury has healed well as far as we can tell at this point,” Jayd explained, “And the swelling has begun to recede, which is promising. My only concern are the nerves, they are so unpredictable. We’ll know more once he’s out of the tank and we can run a few tests.”

“So, you’re just being cautious,” K’eegan asked to clarify.

“Exactly,” the doctor agreed, “I won’t make promises I can’t keep.”

I could understand that. I’d rather he was optimistically cautious, rather than making grandiose promises that didn’t come to fruition. “Thank you,” I said, softly.

“Just doing my job,” he said, with a grin. “He has a long road of recovery and therapy in front of him, but I’m guardedly optimistic at this point.” 

“A road I’m sure you’ll enjoy helping along,” K’eegan said, trying to lighten the moment, “Or if you don’t, I’d be happy to be a little more ‘hands on’ with my assistance,” she added, while leering at my naked mate.

I huffed and said, “I don’t think so! Keep your hands off.”

“Ruin all my fun,” she answered.

“Seriously K’eegan,” said to my twin. “I’m sure Corso doesn’t want to ‘share’ your help.”

She shook her head and grinned wickedly. “Hmmm, I don’t know about that, my Corso is always eager to help out others. I’m sure he’d share.”

“K’eegan,” I groaned, “Please!”

My twin and Nurse Hayle, who I wasn’t even aware was still in the room, burst out in laughter at my expense, even Dr. Jeffre smiled at my discomfort.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This story has finally caught up to what I have written. New chapters will be posted as I write them. Not a huge change.   
> So far, I've played Zane, my male trooper through the new content. Vish'amar'reno, my bounty hunter, is working on getting the Gravestone flying and worrying about Torian while she does it. I've enjoyed KotFE but K'agan won't play through the new content until I know exactly when and where we'll get Aric back. The waiting is driving me nuts! 
> 
> JediSerenity82 has offered me some hope. She checked the internet and supposedly the missions to get Aric and Elara are on the bugged companion terminal and it will be hot fixed Tuesday. I've got my fingers crossed!  
> Anyway, on the story!

After a time, the doctor said, “On a serious note, you had something you wished to discuss with me?”

“Yes,” I replied, trying to ignore my sister, “As you heard earlier my squad and I have a mission, we’ll be leaving the planet shortly.”

“So soon?” K’eegan said.

“An urgent operation for command,” I explained, “Highly classified.”

“Fun,” my sister said, intrigued but she knew from previous experience I wouldn’t answer questions about my ops.

Looking to the doctor, I continued, “I needed to plan Aric’s care when I’m off-planet. You should be able to reach me by holo,” I handed him the frequency. “If you can’t reach me, K’eegan has insisted she’s staying while I’m gone. I’ll authorize her to make decisions in my stead if I’m unreachable.”

“And his family?” Jayd asked, curious.

“All off-planet,” I replied, “I’ve kept them informed about what’s happened but they live too far away to get here quickly.”

“Sounds like you’ve covered your bases,” the doctor said, “We’ll take good care of him while you’re gone.”

“Thank you,” I said, as I stood. Walking back to the kolto tank, I laid a gentle hand on the cold glass and asked, “Now if everyone doesn’t mind, can I get a few minutes alone with him before I ship out.”  
Chagrined, they all stood and started for the door, “No problem,” Doctor Jeffre said, “K’eegan and I will step out so I can get her holo information.”

Finally the room was clear and I stood alone with Aric. Leaning forward I rested my head against the tank. Gods, I didn’t want to leave! A few tears streaked down my face. I knew he’d be ok but I hated leaving him behind and I detested doing this mission without him!

“Garza is sending us out on a rescue mission,” I told him. “She wouldn’t listen and believes we’re the best team for the job even without you.”

Shaking my head, I continued, “I disagreed with her but it didn’t do any good. We’re scheduled to leave the planet in a few hours at most. I bit my lip and tried to control my rampaging emotions. “Gods, I don’t want to go! I don’t want to leave you here! But I don’t have a choice.” A small smile flittered across my face. “The only bright spot in this whole thing, I won’t be leaving you alone…K’eegan is staying here.” 

Though friends now, Aric and my sister hadn’t always liked each other, in fact at first, they despised each other. Their first meeting on Ord Mantel had NOT gone well. Aric had all but accused my sister of being a criminal, with a serious lack of respect for authority, while K’eegan thought the soldier had has head so far up his ass he couldn’t unbend to see past precious rules and policies. The situation hadn’t improved on Coruscant. My twin spent the whole time on planet trying to track down her ship, by any means necessary and my squad mate spent it angry and bitter, trying to track down the traitors. 

It wasn’t until we crossed paths again on Taris that things finally began to change. On that rakghoul and swamp infested planet, they each managed to earn a measure of the others respect. We had each others backs, as we fought monsters across the planet and saving soldiers and civilians alike. The pair realized, they each had the habit of putting other's safety before their own. Maddeningly to me, the pair put my welfare before their own. Apparently, they thought I was incapable of keeping myself out of harm's way. They bonded over the trials and tribulations of keeping me safe and in one piece.   
I watched the friendship grow between them as we planet hopped across the galaxy. We watched each other's backs on the field of battle and drank the darkness way in the cantinas, when it all got to be to much. By the time we reached Hoth, their friendship was cemented. 

"She'll have your back while I'm gone." I'm not sure who I was trying to reassure, Aric or myself. I knew my sister would do her best to look out for my mate but it wouldn't be the same as doing it myself.

I watched him float in the kolto tank, wounds slowly healing, the realization of how fragile life could be, slammed into me again. I could have easily lost him on the Gauntlet. Without Elara's stubbornness, he would have died. Now I was going out on another dangerous mission, without him and I wasn't guaranteed a return trip. I could very easily be killed in the line of duty and still be robbed of the chance to tell him exactly how I felt. I needed to confess my feelings. I hoped the old wives tale, that someone in a coma could hear what was happening in their surroundings was true.

Closing my eyes, I took a steadying breath and tried to calm my nerves. I could face down a platoon of Imperial troops without fear but admitting my love to my mate left me a shaking mess. Opening my eyes, I stared at his inert figure and gulped down some air. I decided to lay my cards on the table. 

"Aric, I love you so much." 

"Gods, I wished that you could hear me, so I wouldn't have to do this again later." Leaning my forehead against the cool tank, as the tears streaked down, I broke the silence, when I said, "You're my life mate."

After a time, I broke the silence. "Don't you dare die while I'm gone." That was my biggest fear, if I wasn't here to take care of him, I could lose him! "I don't think I could take it if I made it back only to find you'd died. I need something to hold on to." 

I wiped away my tears and stood up straight. Looking up at his handsome face, I said, "Keep healing and I'll be back soon."

Turning I quickly, I walked out of the room, while I was still able to, and closed the door behind me. In the hall, I was met by the waiting arms of my twin, who pulled me into a much needed hug.  
"Everything will be fine," she whispered in my ear.

"I know."

"Aric will heal."

"I know."

"And you'll come back."

"I know."

"And next time you spill your guts, your mate will be awake to hear you." 

"What?!" I jumped out of her arms and glared at her. She'd been eavesdropping! Damn her!

"I said," she smirked at me, "Your MATE will be awake."

"You listened!" I accused her.

"No, I didn't."

My irritating sister just grinned as I glared at her. "Then how did you know?"

"K'agan," she said, as she shook her head in mock sympathy. "You're so obvious."

"No, I'm not," I denied.

"Yes," my twin said, "You are."

Crossing my arms over my chest, I refused to argue with her. 

"And if didn't know before, I definitely know now!" she said, triumphantly.

"K'eegan!"

Laughing at me, my twin tried to reassure me. "Lucky for you, the only one more oblivious than you, is your lovesick mate."

Now I was outraged for Aric! The only one allowed to insult him was me! Wait! That wasn't right!

She just laughed harder. "You two really are a pair!"

I'd finally had enough! 

"I got one word for you," I said, "Or rather, one name. Corso." 

That shut her up.

I almost laughed at the look of confusion on her face. She still hadn't realized what he meant to her. And she was calling me names!

"I thought so," I said. "I guess it makes sense."

It was her turn to be puzzled. "What makes sense?"

Being evasive, I said, "You're my twin after all."

"Spill it out K'agan." 

"Nope," I popped the "O" to aggravate my sister. Leaning back against the wall, I said, "You've got to figure this one out on your own. Hopefully he's patient."

"Whatever," she said from across the small hall, "You don't know anything."

I just smiled. She wasn't getting me to tell her anything that way. She never cued me in to the fact that Aric was my mate. Why should I tell her Corso was hers?  
Still smirking at her, I said, "Think what you want." 

"I will," she said, ending the argument.

Standing silently, we watched each other until we both cracked and smiled kindly. Reaching out, we pulled the other into another hug.

"You'll take care of him?" I said, softly.

"Just as you would," she tried to reassure me.

"I can't lose him."

"You won't."

As she squeezed me tight, she said, "Come back to us."

Now it was my turn to assure her. "I will."

"In one piece," she added, as we broke apart.

"No promises," I said, as I put my helmet on. "But I'll try."

"Thanks K'eegan." There is no way I'd be able to leave if she wasn't here. "I couldn't do this without you."

"You're welcome," my twin said to me, as she made a shooing gesture. "Go save the galaxy. I got everything here taken care of."

Nodding, I took a deep a breath, I started to walk away. Stopping halfway down the hall, I turned to say something to K'eegan but I just caught sight of her back as she went into Aric's room. With a soft smile, I continued down the hall and made my way out of the building.

As K'eegan said, I had a galaxy to save...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Let me know what you think. Review please!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Real life has been busy lately. Work, family, activities, always keeping me on my toes. On a positive note, my kneecap wasn’t broke. Turns out the x-ray tech missed the fact that I have a bipartite patella. (A kneecap that’s naturally two pieces) So that’s good news!
> 
> I’ve been busy with Flirting with Desire and my new piece First Meetings Again. Not to mention its Nano and I’m working on my own original work of fiction. Plus, I’ve been playing a little KotFE a little each day on Zane. 
> 
> So busy, busy! Anyway, on to the story!

Our trip out from Coruscant to Outpost 256 was thankfully uneventful. I spent the time checking in with Doctor Jeffre via holo, checking my mate’s condition. When I wasn’t on the holo, I spent the time in the ship’s gym, working off my surplus of anxious energy. I worked my way through various martial arts forms, working up a good sweat. Next, I slipped on a set of gloves and took out all my anger and frustration on the heavy bag. Most of the crew were smart enough to stay out of my way and let me wear myself out in peace…all but one of it seemed.

“Want to spar boss?” Vik said, entering the room.

“Sure,” I said, turning towards my demolitions expert, “Put the gear on.”

Silently the big Weekquay, walked over to the equipment locker and picked up a set of gloves. Putting them on, he picked up a mouthpiece and said, “Let’s do this.”

Walking to the center of the mat, he held out his gloved hands and I slapped mine against his. We stepped back and each raised our guard. We started circling each other around the mat, as I waited on the big man to make the first move. He didn’t waste time and a few moments later he was on me, throwing a back fist. 

We exchanged blows, back and forth, mostly kicks and punches, moving in what appear to an untrained eye, to be almost a synchronized dance, as we each tried to gain an advantage over the other. I threw a few kicks at Vick, checking us defenses and dancing out of the way of his follow up punches. We went back and forth for a time.

For a time, we seemed fairly evenly matched. He had size and strength on his side but I was working with speed and agility on mine. Plus, Tanno was a street brawler, while I’d been trained from a young age in the martial art, Teräs Käsi. My parents, well aware that their children were prime kidnapping targets, had us trained. All of us took the lessons, but my sister and I excelled at the art. Now it benefited me in my choice of career.

At last I saw an opening and swept his legs out from under, sending the big Weequay falling to the mat. I followed up with a strike to his chest, hoping to knock the wind from him, as I grabbed his arm. Using my body as a lever, I wrapped my legs around his upper torso and neck, chicken winging his arm, bending it the wrong way. Finally, I applied pressure to the arm and hyper-extended it, causing my opponent a tremendous amount of pain.

Tanno growled and swore at me. “Damn Boss!”

I tweaked the arm again, sending another wave through the appendage.

“Fine,” Vik said, as he tapped the mat twice.

I immediately released the hold, pushed off the demolitions expert, rolled away and came to my feet across the mat from him, sweaty and worn out.

“Good fight,” I said.

He acknowledged me with a sharp nod of the head, as he rubbed his injured arm. “You relaxed now?”

“Yeah,” I said, as stood up and started to stretch my back and next. “Thanks.”

“Good,” he rumbled in his deep voice. “Give the Imp and the bug a break.”

“What?” I was kind of surprised that Vik was showing concern for his squad mates.

“Yeah, you’re on edge, so they’re trying to please you and bothering me,” he said, putting the gear back in the locker.

‘Ah,’ I thought, that makes more sense. He’s worried about how his affected him.

I really didn’t feel like reprimanding him for his casual attitude. His underlying reasoning may be self-centered but the bottom line, he was right.

My squad was worried about me and I need to ease up on them. “Will do,” I said, “Now, I’m going to shower.”

“Later Boss,” he said, as I walked out the door and headed for my quarters.

After showering and spending some time in my quarters just trying to relax, I headed back out to the main part of the ship to get something to eat. I was pleased to see someone else had cooked for the crew. As I’ve been told numerous times before, I’m a danger in the kitchen or galley, and I was not looking forward to prepackaged rations. Grabbing a plate, I quickly filled it and head out to the mess table. Elara was just finishing up when I sat down.

I picked up my fork. “Thank you for cooking.”

“You are welcome sir,” she said, taking her last bite, as I took my first.

“It’s good.”

“Thank you sir.”

The only sounds in the room for a few minutes were the sounds of my silverware scrapping my plate, my medic silently watching me. After taking my last bite, I leaned back and said, “I’m sorry Elara.”

“Sir,” she said, truly puzzled.

“It was pointed out to me that my behavior since leaving Coruscant has been less than stellar.”

Straightening the papers in front of her, the medic said, “While that may be true sir, it is understandable.”

“Maybe,” I allowed.

“If I might sir,” she interrupted, “While you may physically be here, your heart and mind are back at the Republic Medical Center.”

How right she was. A minute didn’t go by without thoughts of Aric, how he was doing, and his care. It tore me apart that I wasn’t there. 

“Not to mention the preparation work for this mission,” she said, shuffling her papers again. “Yuun and I have done what we can to assist with our missing XO duties but there is only so much we can do. In the end, we aren’t Lieutenant Jorgan and nothing can change that.” Looking at me, she finished, “We understand.” 

“Thank you.” My eyes filled with tears that refused to shed. My crew was truly awesome. I gave her a shaky smile of gratitude and said, “Still I’m sorry for my behavior and I’ll try to better in the future.”

“Apology accepted Major,” said Elara, as she stood up from the table. “Now, I’ve got a few things to take care prior to our arrival at Outpost 256. That is if you still intend on taking me on the mission with you?”

“I do.” I stood, grabbing my bowl. “We have three hours until we reach our destination.”

“I’ll be ready sir,” she said, turning and walking towards the crew quarters.

“Me too,” I whispered, dropping the bowl in the cleaner in the mess and heading for my quarters. “Or at least I will be.”

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are always greatly appreciated!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for your patience. I know the chapters are coming a little slower but I hope I’m making it worth the wait. On the upside, this chapter is slightly longer than the last few, so enjoy. 
> 
> Please forgive this is unedited but I wanted to get it out as soon as possible and I’ve got to work tomorrow. Blah! (It’s going to rain on our training tomorrow and we’re all going to get wet! Yuck!) 
> 
> Once again highlighted conversation is taken directly from the game!

Our landing on Outpost 256 went unnoticed by the enemy. We made entry and Yuun took over the security systems and after I blew up the other terminals he re-rerouted the controls to his station. So far, our plans had gone off without a hitch, we had met with little resistance so far, or at least it felt that way to me, which was odd.

“Got a question for you, Elara,” I said, as we made our way across a room towards the door on the other side. 

“Sir,” she said, following just off my left shoulder, in Aric’s usual spot, kolto spray at the ready.

“Does this seem a little too easy?”

The medic seemed to consider it for a short time, before she finally answered. “We have met resistance, sir.”

“We have,” I agreed. “But has it been enough considering they are holding Republic representatives against their will?”

We stopped for a moment, while Elara chewed her lip, thinking about my question. 

Finally, she shook her head. “No sir, I don’t think we’ve met enough Imperial soldiers, all things considered.”

“Are we being set up?”

“I don’t know sir.”

“There is one way to find out,” I said.

“What’s that sir?” 

“We keep going and step in the trap,” I said, with a feral smile that would scare most non-Cathar. 

My medic was made of sterner stuff, it didn’t scare her. She just shook her and sighed. “I have only one request sir,” she said.

“What’s that Lieutenant?” 

“Do not make me return to Captain Jorgan’s bedside without you,” she said. “I do not want to face him alone and explain allowing you to knowingly walk into a trap.”

“I won’t,” I promised her. I had no intention of not returning to Aric’s side. In my personal opinion the quicker we returned to Coruscant the better. I missed him and I worried about him almost constantly. 

Motioning to the door, I said, “Let’s do this so we can go home.”

“Sir,” she said, kolto again ready.

We dealt with the troops in the next room without incident and pushed our way into a large meeting room of some sort.

 **“Major! It’s such a relief to see you. Is the plan working? Is everything going alright?”** Helik asked.

After the assistance he’d given us, it was good to see the Aquellan had made it in safely.

**“The station systems are in our control. I’m heading for the hostages now.”**

I figured he’d earned the right to know what was going on.

**“That’s fantastic!”** Helik said. 

**“Why did you tell us there was a rescue mission going on Helik?”** asked a man I didn’t know. **“We could have pitched in. I’m ready to get some payback,”** he said.

‘Not a good idea,’ I thought. I was here to save people not to get them killed. 

**“That doesn’t seem wise. We’d probably just get in the way. Let’s leave it to the professionals,”** he Aquellan reasoned.

Definitely leave this to us!

 **“Stay out of the cross fire. Hold here and keep your heads down,”** I instructed the group.

**“Yes,”** Helik almost too quickly agreed, **“Ah yes! Whatever you think is best Major.”**

I just wanted to shake my head at the Aquellan. I’m kind of surprised he was willing to risk a little danger to help us.

**“Ugh. At least we won’t be in here much longer,”** the other man said, **“Good luck pal. Give those Imps what’s coming to them!”**

**“I will,”** I said, as I walked across the room. **“Secure the door behind us.”**

**“Will do,”** Helik said, **“as he followed at a distance.**

Once through, the door closed and heard the lock slide into place. “Ready,” I asked my companion.

Elara’s answer came quickly, “Yes sir.”

Once again we met with Imperial defenders but their numbers seemed low. We finished off one group before moving on to the next. Eventually I grew tired of our deliberate pace, I wanted this done, so we could head back to Coruscant. During the next engagement, I moved ahead at a quicker pace and picked up all of the Imperial soldiers in the room.  
Using hail of bolts, I brought down the weaker members of the party and moved on to the strong enemies. I took a few lucky blaster bolts but my armor stopped the worst of the damage and what it didn’t stop, Elara’s quick kolto usage fixed. By the end, we were sweaty and breathing heavily but all of the Imperials were lying on the deck dead.

Gasping a little, trying to catch her breath, Elara said, “That was not the best idea sir.”

“Why?” I asked, “We won.”

“Yes,” the medic admitted, “but that could have easily gone the other way.” 

I was about to answer when Elara continued, “I understand, I truly do sir but we won’t get back to Coruscant any quicker if you are injured.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, chagrinned. “I just miss him and this is so hard without Aric. I just want it done.”

“I know sir,” I knew if could see her face, Elara would have a sympathetic expression. “Let’s just finish this safely.”

“Will do,” I nodded, as I shouldered my assault cannon and head down the next hall.

We mowed down the rest of the Imperials that stood between us and the hostages, eventually finding ourselves in a huge room with the captives.

Walking into the room I heard the General say, **“You’ve made a wise choice. Embracing the Imperial way of life will bring property and security to your floundering worlds.”**

I almost snorted in disgust. Security?! Only if you submitted to living under their boot heel and there was rarely prosperity for most living under Imperial rule.

 **“Thank you General,”** another voice said, **“you’ve given us a great opportunity and we appreciate it.**

I had little patience for spineless cowards, today even less so. It was disgusting, selling out your people to protect your own hide.

 **“Indeed. It is unfortunate your colleagues couldn’t be persuaded to--- Guards! Security breach! Engage protocol two seven immediately!”** Rakton ordered.

Pointing my cannon at the troops that just entered the room, I said, **“It’s funny us bumping into each other like this, General."**

 **“I’m sure you can explain what you mean from inside an Imperial prison cell,”** said Rakton, as an enemy soldier pointed a gun at my head. **“Guards—execute.”**

I rolled to my left, dodging the blaster bolt meant to take my head off. Standing, I leveled my cannon and started blasting away. We’d drop one enemy only for another to pop up. So, this is where all the troops were. Just waiting for us in the trap Elara had predicted. 

I took a hard hit to my left leg, and the pain seared up my body. Unfortunately, I felt it start to go out from under me. Luckily, Elara was on her toes, and I felt a quick med shot of kolto to my injured leg, keeping me on my feet. I managed to finish off the group, before taking on the last troops Rakton had to throw at us. Settling back in a crouch, I leveled my gun and let loose. When it was done the only ones standing was Elara and me. 

Walking towards the table, Rakton’s holo-image started making demands. **“Who are you? Who are you?”**

Looking through my visor at the holo, standing straight and proud, I said, **“Havoc squad, General. You’ll be seeing more of us down the line.”**

**“Yes, I’m going to make sure of it,”** he said. 

That was definitely a threat. If I wasn’t sick and tired of this whole mission, I might have cared.

 **“You’ll face justice for what you’ve done,”** he continued. **“My men’s sacrifice will be avenged and the Emperor’s justice will be served.”** His image blinked out in what seemed a huff.

I’m sure you’ll try but not today!

One of the politicians, a Premier Vinn, walked over and said, **“We’re saved. The Republic has saved us! Thank you! Thank you!”**

Before I could comment, King Lorro said, **“Shut your mouth, traitor. You don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of us.”**

It was a good thing I still had my helmet on, so they couldn’t see the look of disgust on my face. They’d all come here to talk to the Imperials, to hear their offers and had been taken hostage. None of them were innocent of betraying the Republic. 

President Walinor added, **“These cowards were signing up with Rakton—they traded their planets to the Empire in exchange for lifetime leadership positions.”**

I did not have the patience for this today. **“Did you really join up with the Imps?”**

 **“What choice did we have?”** Premier Vinn asked. **“Our lives were at stake—our people’s lives!”**

Resist! It was better to die here than live under the iron fist control of the Empire!

Prime Minister Milarezen said, **“Don’t hide behind your people. You gave up. You betrayed everything that we’ve fought for—alliances we’ve held for generations.”**  
Pointing a finger at Vinn, President Walinor added, **“We are at war—we don’t have time for cowards or traitors.”**

Once again, they were all here at the Empire invitation. None were innocent in my eyes.

**“You deserve to be executed.”**

‘Maybe,’ I allowed in my head, ‘after a trial where their crimes come to light.’

 **“Agreed,”** said King Lorro, **“Give these traitors what they deserve. If anyone asks we’ll say the Imperials murdered them.”**

Nope! I will not be judge, jury and executioner. That was definitely not my job!

 **“I’m under orders to bring all of you back alive,”** I said.

 **“This will never happen again,” **the Twilek said,** “Now that we’ve seen Imperial diplomacy firsthand, I don’t think we’ll partake in future summits.”**  
I’m sure they won’t! After finding what exactly amounted to Imperial “diplomacy!” I’d had enough!

 **“Cross the Republic again and it will be your bodies on the floor,”** I warned them.

 **“We understand,”** Premier Vinn said, urgently. **“We will remain loyal until the day we die, we swear it!”**

I doubt that!

 **“Can we get off this miserable station now?”** the King asked, **“Where’s my man Helik? Did he ever turn up?”**

**“Your man, Helik snuck my team aboard. Thank him for your rescue!”**

These people disgusted me! 

Touching the side of my helmet, I turned on my comm and said, **“Come in Yuun. Unlock the crew area so our allies, can regroup with their associates.”**

Thanks to the Gods, I do not have to transport these pompous jerks back to Coruscant. I’m sure there would be bloodshed long before we got there!

 **“Affirmative Major,”** my computer specialist said, **“Yuun will also bring the ship to the crew area to facilitate a quicker return to General Garza.”**

Bless that Gand! I was tired of this mess and all I could think of now was my mate.

 **“We owe you our lives,”** President Walinor said, earnestly. **“The Republic has proven how much it values its allies. It’s time we returned the favor.”**

It was past time, in my humble opinion.

 **“Tell your leaders that starting now no Imperial will set foot on our worlds without paying in blood. Long live the Republic,”** added Prime Minister Milarezen.

If they were our allies against the Empire, that’s how it should have been to start. Maker, save me from blowhards!

**“Long live the Republic!”** echoed King Lorro. 

“Time to head out,” I said, indicating the door Elara and I had come in through. “Elara take point, just in case we missed anyone. I’ll watch our backs.”

“Yes sir,” answered my medic, her Imperial accent evident.

I could see the politicians getting ready to comment on it, but I cut it off at the knees. “Don’t!” I ordered, “I’ve never had a moment to question her loyalty to me or the Republic. I can’t say the same for the rest of you, any of you!”

They just shut their mouths and glared at me, as they fell into line. 

“Thank you sir,” I heard Elara say over the comms.

“It’s the truth Elara,” I said. “Now let’s get them back to their people and get out of here.”

“Yes sir!” she said, heading out the door and down the hall, the diplomats following behind her.

“I’m coming Aric,” I whispered softly to myself, “Hang in there, I’m coming…”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another chapter of Flirting!! Yay! And this one is fairly long!! Yay! Though, it’s not what some of you may be expecting.

Meanwhile back on Coruscant:

K’eegan’s POV

I was exhausted. I’d ended up spending the day at the hospital with Aric, ensuring his care and making sure everything was taken care of. Then I stayed that night for my shift watching over him. With the departure of my sister and Elara we were down to just Corso and me watching over the Cathar. That meant twelve hours shifts. Ugh! I didn’t mind doing it for Aric and my twin but I was worn out!

After Corso had arrived at the hospital, I’d headed back to my family’s apartment for some down time and desperately needed sleep. I’d been staying on my ship. It was just easier than the apartment; all of my things were on the ship. Today though, I need the quiet and peace of my family’s apartment. I was surprised to see my baby brother’s speeder sitting on the landing pad when I arrived. I wasn’t aware he was on planet and couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing here.

Heading to the door, I was greeted by P6 at the door. “Miss K’eegan! What can I do for you?”

“Not much P6,” I said to the droid, “Is my brother here?”

“Yes, Miss K’eegan,” the droid answered, as he tottered along beside me. “I told Miss K’agan the other day that Mister K’addes holo’d that he would be here. She said she would miss him.”

‘And she hadn’t told me,’ I thought. I loved my brother but as a Jedi sometimes he could be a little judgmental and I wasn’t sure I was up to dealing with that. I already had enough on my plate.

“Is he here?”

“K’eegan!” I heard a voice shout, just a nanosecond before I was picked up and spun around. “It’s great to see you!”

“K’addes,” I said with a small smile. I missed my little brother. It was hard now that all of us were spread across the cosmos.

“P6 told me that K’agan and Havoc squad left the planet just as I got here but he failed to mention you were here,” he said putting me back down on my feet.   
“He told us,” a new voice said. “You just didn’t hear him.” My brother’s padawan walked into the large living room. Walking up to me, she gave me a small hug, “It’s good to see you K’eegan.”

I gently returned the clinch. “Kira! What a surprise.”

“Where’s Corso,” my brother asked, looking over my shoulder for my crewmate.

During our travels my crew had met up with my brother and Kira on various planets. My brother, the city rich boy had struck up and unlikely friendship with my Corso, the rural farm boy.

“His facial expression immediately filled with concern. “What’s wrong? Is he ok?”

“Corso is fine,” I reassured him. “He’s visiting with a friend, sitting with them while they’re in the hospital.”

Relieved, he said, “That’s good.”

“Have you met K’agan’s squad? Havoc squad?” I wasn’t sure if K’addes had run into the military unit on any of their assignments.

“Yes,” K’addes said, as he nodded his head. “We’ve met them a time or two on various worlds.” Noting my obvious exhaustion and worried expression he asked, “What’s happened?”

“Why don’t we move into the living room and sit down,” I moved around my brother and headed for the large couch. “This could take a few minutes.”

K’addes sat down next to me and Kira sat on his other side, very closely on his other side I noted with an internal grin. I couldn’t help but wonder if my uptight; Jedi brother had loosened up and found someone. Something to tease him about at a better time!

“K’eegan?” he prompted, when I didn’t immediately explain.

“Have you met her executive officer?”

“Aric Jorgan,” K’addes supplied. “Yes. I felt a lot of anger from him the first time we met, though the last time we saw them on Balmorra most of that was gone. He seemed like a good man.”

“It looked like he cared about your sister a great deal,” Kira added.

Covering a laugh, I smiled and said, “You could definitely say that and the feeling is mutual from what I can tell, though K’agan refused to tell me directly.”  
“Our sister is allowed her secrets,” K’addes said.

“Maybe,” I allowed, though I really didn’t agree with him.

“What does all of this have to do with why Corso is at the medical center?” Kira asked.

“A lot,” I said, glancing at her, before I stopped again and took a deep, steadying breath. “Aric was critically injured in a classified op. They brought him here for emergency treatment.”

“Oh no!” Kira said, covering her mouth in shock.

K’addes expression darkened with sadness. “How bad?”

“Bad,” I immediately answered. After a moment, I elaborated, “Multiple blaster wounds to his chest, back and arm. From what I understand, if it wasn’t for Fourex and Elara he wouldn’t have made it. Without Fourex, he’d never have made it back to the extraction point and without Elara he’d have died in transit back to Coruscant. She never gave up and brought him back when he went into cardiac arrest.”

“Oh gods!” Kira whispered in shock, as she clutched my brother’s leg and unconsciously moved into his side.

I just managed to smoother, what my twin called, my ‘evil twin’ smile. There was definitely something going there!! I couldn’t wait to tell K’agan. Growing up, K’addes was always the ‘good child.’ My twin and I had another name for him, “tattle tale” was one of the kinder ones. We could have so much fun with this!!

“Is there anything we can do?” my brother said.

“I don’t know,” I said, as I continued to watch their body language, looking for any other clues to their exact relationship status. “They are removing Aric from the kolto tank tomorrow morning. We’ll know more then.”

Nodding his understanding, K’addes said, “We’ll plan on being there in case there is anything we can do to help.”

Reaching up, I hugged him and leaned into his comforting presence. “Thank you. I’m sure K’agan would appreciate anything you could do for Aric.

When we broke the hold and sat back on the couch, K’addes grew curious and he asked, “What is the relationship between our sister and Aric?” I could tell he’d slipped into protective brother mode.

“I think it’s pretty obvious,” Kira smiled from his other side. “And it’s sweet.”

K’addes frowned. “If he hurts her,” he started before I stopped him.

“Aric would die for her, K’addes,” I said empathetically. “I’m sure he’d never do anything to intentionally her K’agan.”

Though he didn’t say anything more, I could tell my little brother wasn’t totally convinced. If I knew my brothers, when Aric was well they’d be having a ‘discussion’ with him on how to treat their sister.

Standing I said, “I’ve got to go rest. I need to be back at the hospital later and I am supposed to be there when they remove Aric from the tank tomorrow.”  
“Why?” K’addes asked.

 

“I promised K’agan we would stay with Aric while she was away on her mission,” I explained to him. “She was pretty upset having to leave Aric behind, so Corso and I have been staying with him around the clock.”

“Go rest,” he said, standing and pulling his padawan up next to him. “Kira and I will take care of Aric tonight so you and Corso can sleep.” He gave me a critical and knowing, “And just sleep K’eegan.”

I smiled sweetly at him but didn’t say anything. Fat chance I’d just rest if Corso came home. I hadn’t spent any ‘quality’ time with him in days. What my overprotective baby brother didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him!

“Thank you, K’addes standing and heading for my room, “I’ll see you later.”

“You are most welcome K’eegan,” he answered, as they made their way for the landing pad and his speeder.

Hurrying to my room, I shut the door behind me. I wanted to shower and be ready when Corso got here. We’d have a little fun, before getting that ‘rest’ my brother insisted I needed…

O~O~O

“Captain?”

“In my bedroom,” I called out to Corso. “Come join me.”

After my brother and his padawan left, I’d hurried to my room showered and primped. I didn’t bother redressing, instead staying naked. Farm boy had of getting eager and ripping off any lingerie I put on, so why bother? I smiled to myself, turned down the lights and lit a few candles.

“Cap…,” the word died on his lips as he opened the door and caught of me standing, naked, in the center of the room. “Maker! K’eegan you’re so gorgeous!”

“You’re not so bad yourself farm boy,” I said, sauntering over to him, resting my hands on his chest, and tipping my head. His lips crashed down on mine in a consuming kiss. We both danced in the fire. By the time, we broke apart, we were panting for breath and I could feel his hard long length poking me against my belly.

Working my hands along his waistline, I untucked his shirt, grabbed its tails and pulled it off, tossing it to the ground somewhere behind me. Next I turned my attention to his pants, undoing his belt and working on the closures. 

Grabbing my hands, Corso tried to stop me down. “K’eegan, slow down.”

“Gods no!” I said, unfastening his pants and pushing both them and his briefs down to his ankles, freeing his hard cock.

With a hungry smile, I licked my lips at the sight of it and dropped to my knees in front of him. Grabbing him around the base, I slowly began to lick him like a lollipop, from top to bottom and back again. I went around and around, until I’d tasted each part of his cock. When I took as much of it into my mouth as possible, I heard Corso groan in pleasure and felt him bury his hands in my hair. Unlike my sister, I left my hair down and it was unbound this evening, just for Corso.

Slowly, I began to work his length in and out of my mouth, until he finally began to pushed into me.

“K’eegan,” he moaned, twisting his hands into my locks. He shoved my face hard, against his thrusting cock, until he finally began hitting me in the back of the throat with every hard thrust.

“Not gonna….last,” he panted, shoving into my hot mouth again.

I hummed my agreement around him, and if possible he moved faster, harder until his movement became erratic.

“Stop! Stop!” With his hands still wrapped in my hair, he tried to pull me off his member. “Gonna come.”

I grabbed two handfuls of his ass cheeks and forced him deeper into my mouth. He only lasted another stroke or two.

“K’eegan!” he shouted, as his warmth spread through my mouth and down my throat, forcing me to swallow his essence.

“You’re an evil woman,” he said, glancing down at me, a still hungry look on his face.

“I know,” I told him, sweetly.

In a quick move, he swept me up into his arms and moved over to the bed in one continuous movement, tossed me down on the bed. I bounced once, watching him unfasten his boots and pull them off. His pants, boxer and socks quickly followed. He followed me on to the bed, pinning me down and kissing me passionately. My tongue met his, gently entwining and touching. 

Corso broke the kiss and with a lecherous smile, said, “My turn.”

He started kissing down my body, stopping first at the pulse point where my neck met my shoulders. He carefully kissed and sucked but not leaving a mark. Continuing down he kissed across each shoulder, paying special attention to the divot at my collar bone. 

“So soft,” he whispered, gently rubbing up down my sides, stroking my fur, to my hips and back. 

My breath caught in the back of my throat, as he kissed one nipple and then the other. He slowly, leisurely worked both until they pebbled, hardening with his continued attentions. He blew on them and I felt a spark of desire straight to my womanhood.

“Corso,” I moaned, arching against him.

He just smiled and continued his explorations, down my firm stomach and circling my belly button with kisses. He was almost to where I needed him most, as he continued to kiss down towards my center.

With an evil grin, he kissed my pussy and continued down, mumbling “Not yet.”

“Fuck Corso,” I said, already wet and ready for him.

“No,” he answered, as he kissed down my right leg, finding the ticklish spot behind me knee and kissing it. 

I huffed out a sigh. Gods, I needed him. Now!!

He just laughed softly but he wasn’t deterred. He went all the way down one leg, and I hoped he’d skip the other but I knew better by know. He kissed up the other, again paying special attention to all of ticklish spots. Finally he was kissing up the inside of my thigh, nearing the spot where I so desperately needed him.

“Please,” I asked, trying to grab his hair and steer him to my pussy.

“Ok,” he said, kissing my curls, “But you’ll beg me to let you orgasm before I’m done.”

I bit my lip just in time to stop myself from saying something incredibly stupid and challenging him to back those words up, instead nodding my head. Unfortunately, my Corso knew me way, way too well and he smirked at me knowingly, before finally turning his attention to my sweet spot.

“Gods!” I cried, at his tongue’s first stroke across my clit.

“Can smell you,” he murmured. “Want to taste you,” he said, at the second pass of his tongue. “So, so wet.”

I was speechless, clutching the sheets in my fisted hands. My body was already demanding, needing the feel of his man inside me. When he buried his face in my womanhood, I came unglued, back arching off the bed, as I moaned, “Corso, fuck.”

He took his time, exploring touching with his fingers, licking with his tongues and finally sucking on my clit. I was a panting, sweaty, needy mess, when he reached down and pulled the lips of my clit out of the way and continued his attentions.

I was getting close to the edge of the cliff, ready to fall into ecstasy, when he suddenly stopped.

“What no!” I whined, “I need to cum.”

“Not yet,” he said, stroking my leg. “Not until you beg.”

I wasn’t the point yet that I was ready to beg for what I wanted, close but not yet. Instead I quietly waited for him to start again.

“Have it your way,” he said, after I came down a bit, the tide of need ebbing slightly.

Again, he laved attention on my needy center, tasting me but I arched off the bed, when he suddenly thrusted a finger deep into my middle.

“Gah!”

He slipped it in and out, as he continued sucking me. Without conscious thought my hips rocked, keeping time to his motions. In and out. A second finger followed the first. I nearly came undone, when a third digit joined them. In and out.

“Need to cum,” I whispered. “Need…” I rocked my hips.

“Just say it,” he coaxed.

“No,” I moaned, throwing my head and forth. “Fuck.”

I wrapped my hands in his locks and pushed towards what I needed. He moaned, tasting me. I was so, so close…right there…the edge..just one more…

“Damn it Corso!” I screamed, when he stopped again and pulled his fingers out of me. I felt the loss keenly and whined at the feeling.

“Ah Captain,” he tried coaxing, smiling his face and mouth covered in my juices. “Just do it and this will all be over.”

Shaking my head, I said, “No,” again. Damn I could be so stupidly stubborn.

Waiting a few long tense moments, he stroked the soft fur on my belly and legs, before finally starting again. This time he shoved tongue as deeply inside me as possible, moving it in and out mimicking the action of his fingers earlier.

I screamed in need, pushing his head where I desperately needed him. I needed a release so badly I actually ached with it. I’d do anything for it.

He was moaning in pleasure, at the sweet taste of me on his tongue.

I could see the edge of abyss again. So achingly close. My body was as taunt and sweaty….righ there…so close….and he stopped.

“NO!” I screamed. This time he didn’t even have to ask. I wasn’t above begging I needed it so bad. “Please Corso…please I need to cum….please,” I begged.

“Just like that,” he said and he buried his face in my hungry pussy. This time he didn’t stop, pushing inside as deeply as possible, in and out. It only took a moment, and I was flying off the edge of the precipice.

“God, yes!” I screamed, as my released slammed into me. Corso continued lapping at my center, until I finally came down from the heavens.

“Thank you,” I moaned, stroking his hair.

“Oh,” he said, “We’re not done yet,” as he quickly moved up my body and forcefully kissing me.

I loved the taste of me on his lips and I smiled when he moaned too. “Love tasting me in your mouth,” me muttered.

“Me too.”

We continued to kiss, tasting and exploring each other. I could feel his length laying heavily against my belly, when I stroked down his muscled back, to his butt. When I grabbed two handfuls and squeezed, I could feel when he grinded his length against me.

“Need you,” he whispered.

“Need you too.”

“No,” he said, “Need you,” he found my center with the tip of his length. Sheathing himself in my heat, he said, “now!”

I moaned and arched against him. It felt like heaven to feel him inside me, moving, right where he belonged. Pulling out, he waited a moment before hilting himself deeply inside me, filling me to capacity and more.

“Need,” I babbled, as I stroked his back with finger tips, “want…fuck..Corso...so good.”

He set a hard pace, thrusting his hips and pushing us ever closer to the edge, driving himself deeply inside me with each stroke. I rocked my hips and met him stroke for stroke.

“Close,” he muttered.

“So close,” I agreed, as he kissed me. 

Unsheathing my claws, I carefully drew them across his blood, scratching him lightly and drawing blood. 

“Fuck,” he said, in response. His movements became uncoordinated, pace erratic and if it was possible his body became taunter.

“K’eegan!” he cried, as his orgasm finally hit him and he shattered inside me. With a final thrust, he came hard, filling me up. I could feel it his hot cum spurt into me and that was all it took.

“Corso!” I moaned in return, as I clenched down on his length inside me, my orgasm sweeping away any other thoughts.

My man bit his lip, arched his back and tipped his back at the feeling of me tighten on his length. “Gods!”

When were spent, Corso’s arms gave out and he lay on top of me, covering me with his larger body, gasping trying to catch his breath.  
After a few moments he said, “That was…”

“Mind blowing,” I supplied, kissing his shoulder.

When he carefully removed himself from inside me, we both felt the loss keenly. Rolling off me, he lay on his side and pulled me close, my back to his front. I was enveloped in him, safe from the world.

My eyes were already drifting closed, when I heard him whisper, “Rest Captain,” and he kissed my hair.

“Love you,” he said into my hair.

“Love you too,” I said, in return…for the first time.

I felt him tense for just a second before he relaxed and pulled me closer, if that were possible…

O~O~O

The next morning Corso and I met K’addes and Kira in Aric’s room. He was still in the kolto tank but everything was prepped and ready for his removal in a few short minutes, finally.

“Did you have a good night?” Kira asked, smiling at me with a knowing look. 

Grinning in return and making Corso blush, I answered, “Most definitely.” Wrapping an arm around Corso’s waist and pulling him closer, so I could snuggle into his side. He put his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head.

My brother’s face darkened and I could tell he was going to say something; I’d make sure he’d regret later, when Kira grabbed his hand and held it. She held it and said, “We’re so glad,” giving him a look that kept him quiet.

At that moment Dr. Jeffre walked in. “Are we ready?”

“Good Morning doctor,” I said, smiling. Motioning to K’addes, I continued, “Have you met my and K’agan’s brother, K’addes and his padawan, Kira.

“Yes, we met last night,” the doctor said, inclining his head to K’addes, “It’s good to see you again Master Jedi.”

“And you Doctor Jeffre,” my brother replied, politely.

“Jayd please,” the doctor said, as he sat down. “Shall we have a seat for a moment? The team will be in momentarily.” 

“K’addes then,” my brother, as all sat. “How is Aric?”

“Much improved,” the doctor said, as he looked over a datapad.

“His back?” I asked.

“What’s wrong with his back?” K’addes asked the doctor, alarmed.

“He took a blaster bolt to the lower back,” I supplied.

“Yes,” Jayd said, as he continued to swiping at the pad, “We’ve done what we could, repaired the damage and it looks to be healing well.” Looking up at us, he added, “We’ll know when he regains consciousness and we runs some tests.”

“And when will that be?” Kira asked from K’addes side.

“We’ve been gradually reducing the sedatives he’s given. He should wake in the next twenty four to forty eight hours.”

I hoped K’agan would be back by then. She’d hate missing Aric waking up and she should be the first thing he sees.

A s a team of medical specialists walked in, the doctor said, “We’re about to begin, if you would like to wait…” 

“I’m staying here,” I interrupted him, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at him. 

“Captain,” Corso started, just as K’addes said, “K’eegan.”

“K’agan would want of us, want me, to be here for Aric and I promised her,” I said, stubbornly. They’d have to drag me from this room. I wasn’t leaving willingly.  
With a soft smile, Kira took her master’s arm, “Come on K’addes,” she said, “We’ll wait outside,” as they stood and walked for the door.

“Captain?” this time I could hear the question in his voice.

Patting his hand that rested on my shoulder I said, “I’ll be fine. Go wait with K’addes and Kira.”

“If you need anything just shout,” he said, before leaning down and kissing me sweetly on the lips. Turning to towards the door, he followed the pair out.

“Shall we begin?” Doctor Jeffre asked. Knowing a losing battle when he saw one, and understanding why I wanted to stay, he didn’t even ask me to leave.

“Please,” I said, sitting back in the chair, trying to get comfortable.

Doctor Jeffre walked over to a terminal and quickly got to work and began entering codes for the kolto tank. I watched his fingers dance across the keyboard, as the tank hissed and the water slowly began to drain. The viscous liquid worked its way down Aric’s floating body, until only the area force shield was the only thing holding him in place. Nurse Hayle hit the release and opened the front of the tank. A male Cathar med tech, reached in and carefully grabbed Aric.

“Got him,” the tech told the doctor, who shut of the field.

Aric’s body crumpled against the other Cathar’s body, who gently held him in place. Hayle reached in and unfastened numerous lines and cables, until the only thing left was a monitor and the breathing tube. Another tech joined the first, and they picked up and carefully put him on a nearby bed.

Working together the team quickly and efficiently cleaned and dried the soldier off. After clicking a few last buttons, the doctor joined them at the bed. Starting at Aric’s head, he methodically and efficiently began to check each of his healing. He gently poked and prodded each one, looking for any problems that could be hidden from scans and the doctor’s eyes. 

To my untrained eyes, it looked like Aric’s wounds had healed well. He’d have a few scars but otherwise he already looked worlds better than the mortally wounded man I’d first seen when we arrived at the hospital. It wasn’t until they rolled the Cathar on to his side, that I saw Doctor Jeffre grimace. He typed something into a pad he carried with him but didn’t say anything. After Jayd finished his examination, they carefully placed Aric on his back and covered him with a sheet and light blanket. 

“He seems to be trying to breathing on his own,” the doctor said, moving to the head of the bed. “Let’s go ahead and remove the breathing tube.”

“Yes sir,” one of the techs said.

Working very carefully, the doctor pulled the tube from Aric’s throat. I frowned and coughed in sympathy. Aric’s throat would be very sore when he awoke. When he was done, someone handed Jayd a nasal cannula and he put it under Aric’s nostrils and hooked it over his ears.

Before I could even ask, he said, “He’s breathing well on his own but the cannula will supply him extra oxygen and help his healing lung.”

“Ok,” I said, nodding my understanding, “How is he?”

“He’s doing well,” the doctor answered with a small smile.

At that moment my holo-communicator began to beep.

“Sorry,” I said, pulling it out. I noticed it was my K’agan and thumbed it on. Her image danced into view above it. She looked exhausted but uninjured and whole.  
“Just in time sister,” I told her with a small smile. “We just removed Aric from the kolto tank.”

I turned the holo so she could see Aric lying in bed, blankets pulled up to his chest and tucked under his arms. He looked like he was resting peacefully.  
I could hear the smile in her voice, when she greeted me. “K’eegan! How is he?”

“I’d just asked Doctor Jeffre that same question,” I told her, “He said Aric is healing well.” 

Turning the holo to Jayd, I said, “Here, ask him yourself,” which she promptly did. The doctor updated K’agan on Aric’s condition and reassuring her that her mate (I don’t care how much she denies it, I know he is!) was healing well. 

A short time later I heard the human doctor ask, “When will you be back?”

With a sigh, K’agan’s image dragged a tired hand across the rows in her hair. “The mission was successful and we’re already heading back to Coruscant. We should be there tomorrow morning.”

“Just in time,” I said.

“For what?” K’agan asked.

“Captain Jorgan should be waking in the next twenty four to forty eight hours,” the doctor told her, smiling, “Sounds like you’ll make it back just in time.”

“Thank you doctor for everything,” K’agan and this time she was smiling. “I can’t wait to see him. I miss him so much,” she confessed.

“I know,” I assured, “And I’m sure Aric knows.”

I continued, not giving her a chance to deny her feelings, “Fly safe and we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks K’eegan,” the image said.

“You’re welcome,” I answered and before her image flashed out of existence, “Give your crew a break and get some rest!”

“Yes mom,” she volleyed back, her image fading out.

Walking over to Aric’s bed, I gently ran a hand along his brow, down and cupped his chin. Leaning down I kissed his cheek and whispered, “K’agan loves you and she’ll be back soon.”

Sitting back down in the chair next to his bed, I watched my sleeping charge and waited for my sister to return…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. Review are fuel for my muse and greatly appreciated!!!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little longer than some of my chapters. Just means you’ll have more to enjoy! Consider this a late Christmas present!!

I landed the Thunderclap at the Coruscant spaceport mid-morning the next day. I was anxious the entire journey back. I’m sure I drove my crew nuts but no one said a thing, not even Vik. Speaking to the doctor , knowing Aric had healed enough to be removed from the kolto tank was great, seeing him out of the tank even better but it stilled didn’t compare to being there with him. And I very much wanted to be there when he woke up. All of it combined to make me a mess.

The moment we touched down, I was out of my seat and headed for the exit hatch. I wasn’t wasting a moment. “With me,” I called out to Elara.”

“Right behind you sir,” she promptly answered, stepping from the med bay, “To the medical center?”

“No,” I said, keying open the entry. “We’ll go to Headquarters and debrief for Garza, then head to Aric.” Looking at her as we mounted the bikes, I fiercely added, “She’s not going to like it but I am not leaving him again.” 

“Sir,” she said, concern written on her face, “Are you sure…?”

Nodding my head, I started the engine, “Yes. I won’t be torn apart again and I won’t put my squad in danger by being distracted.”

“While I appreciate that sir,” she said, “What of your career? And if she insists?”

“I don’t think she will,” I answered, “We are the best SpecOps team in the Republic, her words. She won’t want to damage that by removing me from Command and if she does,” I stopped speaking and shrugged my shoulders, “I can’t let that dictate my actions this time. Since enlisting, I’ve always put the Republic before my family and my personal life, not this time, he means too much to me.”

“Agreed sir,” she said, “And if she tries, I think I can speak for the others when I say, we have your back sir.”

Truly touched, and smiled, “Thank you Elara.”

“You’re welcome sir.”

Gunning the engines, we took off, weaving in and out of traffic, headed for the Senate Plaza and General Garza’s office. We’d avoid most of the early morning commuters headed to work, and we were too early for the lunch crowd headed out for a bite. We made great time and touched down outside the building a short time later.

Climbing off, I turned off the engine, got off and headed into the building. Not wasting a moment, I hurried up the stairs and went directly to the general’s office. No one was in the outer office but we could hear voices coming from the general’s inner sanctum. 

“General Garza?”

“In here Major.”

My medic followed me into the office. Stopping in the middle of the room, we saluted her and waited.

“At ease Major,” she said, and to her secretary, “We’ll finish this later, dismissed.”

The young woman gathered some papers, gave me a small nod of acknowledgement and walked from the room, closing the door behind her.

Giving me her full attention, my commanding officer said, “You’re back early than expected Major.”

“I had incentive sir,” I said.

“You did,” she conceded, shuffling some papers. “I’m unprepared for your formal debrief Major Kazik, Supreme Commander Rans planned to sit in.”

“If it’s all the same to you sir,” I said, firmly, “I’d like to get this over with.” Taking a breath I forged ahead, “I plan to take leave for the foreseeable future.”

Shaking her head, the older woman said, “I’m sorry Major, that’s just not possible at this time. We need to press our advantage and Havoc squad will play a key part in the campaign.”

“I’m sorry sir,” I said, planting my feet and standing stiffly in the middle of the room. I was unwilling to give ground on this issue. “I’ve already filed the necessary paperwork.”

“Is this about Captain Jorgan?” she asked, irritation plain to hear.

There was no point in denying it. “Yes sir,” I said, “I won’t be pulled apart again sir. It’s not fair to me, to Captain Jorgan or my squad.”

“Your squad?” she asked.

“I was distracted during our last mission. Even though I was physically on the mission, mentally and emotionally I was still here on Coruscant with Captain…with Aric.” Taking a breath, I continued, “I won’t place my squad mates…my friends, in that position again.”

“Your timing leaves something to be desired Major,” the General said, sitting down behind her desk.

“Not my timing general,” I argued. “These things never happen when it’s convenient.” 

Picking up a data pad that had been lying next to her elbow, Garza said, “Very true Major.” Looking up, she stared me in the eye, “I could remove you from your position, turn command of Havoc over to someone else.”

Straightening my back, I knew I couldn’t back down now. “Frankly sir, you need me more than I need you. I don’t believe you’ll tamper with the chemistry of your best squad, or risk losing them by removing me from command,” I said. 

“The squad would not take your removal well sir,” Elara said, coming up to stand at attention behind my right shoulder. 

Sighing, Garza asked, “Are you sure I can’t change your mind Major?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s not fair to Aric or my squad. I need to be here, at least until he’s well on his way to recovery.”

“And if he never recovers and returns to Havoc?”

That statement hit me with the force of a blaster bolt to the chest. I didn’t want to think about Aric not returning to my squad, that he may never have my back again. “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it, General,” I said, after a long moment. 

Folding her hands in front of her on the desk, General Garza finally said, “I’ll approve your leave if,” she stopped for a moment for effect, “You keep your holo-communicator on you at all times, so we can get in contact with you if something happens.”

“That goes without saying General,” I said, readily agreeing. I’d planned on that anyway. “My squad?” I asked.

“On leave with you,” she said. “They aren’t much use without a command team and if I’m not reassigning someone….” she left the rest unsaid.

“Thank you sir,” I said, a small smile on my face.

“Go Major,” the older lady returned the smile, “I’m sure there is somewhere you’d prefer to be.”

“Yes sir,” I said, turning to head back towards the door.

“K’agan,” the older woman called after me, her voice softer, without the tone of command to it. “I get the official reports but how is he doing?”

I stopped at the doorway and looked back at her. “He’s improving and was removed from the kolto tank already,” I said, “We’re headed over to the hospital as soon as we finish here.”

“You came here first?” she asked, surprise evident in her voice.

“I knew I wouldn’t want to leave him again,” I said, honestly.

“Understandable,” she said, eyes growing distant, like she was remembering something in the past. “Just keep me updated Major.”

“Will do sir,” I said.

“Dismissed Major,” she said, turning back to her data terminal.

Not wasting a moment, Elara and I walked out of the office, down the stairs and out the building. We climbed on our bikes and started them. “Meet you at Republic Medical?”

Nodding she answered, “See you there sir.”

Gunning the engines, we took off, weaving our way through the heavy traffic. I tried to contain my warring emotions as we get closer to our destination. I was excited to see my mate again, happy that he seemed to be healing well and terrified that I could still lose him or something would go wrong. As we passed one last speeder, I took a deep breath and slowly released it. No use borrowing trouble. I had enough to deal with already.

Parking the bikes, we quickly headed inside and to the lifts. We took it to the correct floor. The moment we stepped out, we could hear a commotion down the hall. Elara and I looked at each other, concerned, before taking off at a jog to Aric’s room. Before we reached the room, I heard, “We told you it wouldn’t work.”

“You’re twins and he’s unconscious. How’d he know the difference?” a voice I didn’t recognize asked.

“I’d know,” an indignant Corso said. “Why wouldn’t he?”

“He’s unconscious,” the voice stressed again.

“Doesn’t matter, I’d know it was K’eegan. Just like Aric knows that’s not K’agan.”

Dr. Jeffre was coming down the hall from the other direction, just as he got to Aric’s door, the voice said, “At least he’s quieted down, we won’t have to sedate him.”  
“No one is sedating my patient!” Dr. Jeffre said, angrily. 

The room was quietly chaotic, with K’eegan, Corso, Dr. Jeffre, Nurse Pentcot and medical professional inside. Looking around at the crowd, the doctor ordered, “Everyone but the family and the patient’s nurse get out!”

“But Doctor,” someone objected.

Shaking his head, Jayd said, “No! Out now!”

Knowing better than to further irritate the irate doctor, everyone began clearing. I frowned when I saw the young Dr. Hamben among the crowd. The same young man that had given Elara so much trouble when Aric was first admitted. It was his voice I’d heard! Grabbing the others arm as he passed, Doctor Jeffre said, “Go wait in my office.”  
“Yes sir,” Hamben said, looking down at the floor. 

“We have some things we need to discuss.”

The subdued just nodded his acknowledgement and walked out without saying a word.

With the exceptions of the noise of the machines assisting with Aric’s care, the room went from a noisy mess to scarily quiet.

“He refused to listen,” Corso said to Aric’s doctor. It looked as if Corso was standing guard over a restless Aric and my twin, who was stroking his brow gently.

“I’ll take care of it,” Jayd said, as he composed himself and pulled a data pad from a hidden pocket on his white jacket, “Hamben shouldn’t have been in here to being with.”

“What was he doing here?” I asked. “I hadn’t seen the irritating doctor since the fight the first day we were here. Everyone in the room seemed surprised to see me standing just inside the doorway.

“Sticking his nose in where it didn’t belong,” Corso recovered first and answered with a smile. “It’s good to have you back K’agan.” Moving across the room, he pulled me into a gentle hug and kissed my brow, “Maybe you can help Aric.”

“What’s going on?” I asked, my concern spiking for my mate, as I glanced towards his bed.

“He’s looking for you,” she informed me, stroking his brow with her fingertips again. “And some other doctors figured he was unconscious, we were twins and I could fool him.”  
“They refused to listen when we tried to tell them that Aric would know,” Corso finished the explanation, “though it did quiet him down some.”

It looked as if he were having a bad nightmare. He was sweaty, tossing his head back and forth, while mumbling in his sleep. His hand was clutching my sister’s frantically.  
My eyes filling with tears at my mate’s distress, I hurried across the room. K’eegan stood as I approached and slipped Aric’s hand into mine. He immediately quieted at the change. Sitting down in the chair she vacated, I leaned in close to his prone body and started stroking his bald head and whispering in his ear.

“I’m here. I’m okay. Shhh, everything’s ok.” I said, running my fingertips across down his cheeks. His head turned in my direction and seemed to seek out my touch. I leaned closer and kissed his cheek and slipping into Catharesse I continued to comfort and reassure him.

“Aric was upset and his vitals started spiking,” K’eegan started to explain, standing next to Corso, as he slipped his arm around her waist. “Someone threatened to sedate him,” she said, looking at the doctor, “Someone else suggested I should trick him, pretend to be K’agan.”

“Idiots,” the doctor said, “They’ve obviously never dealt with a Cathar’s enhanced senses”

“Excuse me, enhanced senses or not,” Corso argued, arm still around my sister, “I’d know the difference between K’agan and K’eegan.” Looking at my mate, he added, “I know Aric would!”

“Wanting to help and to stop the arguing, I agreed to comfort him but would not and did not pretend to be my sister. That’s why he calmed only slightly.” Grinning, she continued, “Until K’agan worked her magic.” 

With all the discussion, I hadn’t noticed how quiet it had gotten in the room. Looking down at my mate, I smiled softly. He was still holding my hand but not with a desperate grip. He was leaning into the hand stroking his face and I was relieved he was no longer crying out in his sleep. 

From behind me, I heard K’eegan say, “He was reliving the battle. It’s the last thing he remembered.”

“Oh Aric!” I whispered, distressed for him. The Gauntlet was bad enough to live once; I didn’t want to imagine my mate trapped in a nightmare of the events.

“He was worried about you K’agan,” my sister said, as she came up behind me and rested a hand on my shoulder. “He didn’t care about himself.”

Cupping one of his cheeks in my hand, I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his. He was injured, had spent a long time in kolto, yet my safety was more important to him that even unconscious he put my safety before his own! Damn him! Didn’t he know I couldn’t live without him??

“Don’t you know I can’t live without you,” I whispered to him in our native tongue.

“Same,” hoarse voice whispered.

“Aric?!” 

Everyone in the room crowded closer to the bed. “Please Aric,” I said, rubbing his forehead gently. “If you’re awake, open your eyes.”

“Lights,” he said softly.

“Turn the lights down,” I ordered without taking my eyes off my mate. My own eyes were starting to fill with tears. The moment I prayed for but worried may never happen was almost here.

I watched as he cracked his eyes open slightly, a small part of his green irises just barely visible. He opened them and closed them a few times before, finally opening his eyes all the way and staring up at me intently with his emerald orbs.

“K,” he managed, “You aren’t hurt?”

The tears start down my cheeks and as I gently kiss him on the lips, profoundly grateful he’s awake. “I wasn’t injured, you were!” I assured him. “Aric, you were nearly killed, stubborn idiot!”

“You’re ok,” he said, eyes starting to close, “All that matters.”

“You dolt!” I said, punching him gently on the shoulder. “You matter! To me! I need you!” Taking a deep breath, I leaned closer to him. I wasn’t wasting another second, “You’re my life mate Aric,” I told him.

He smiled, his eyes drifting closed again. “Mine too,” he slurred drifting off to sleep...leaving me to wonder if he remembered what we said to each other…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are greatly appreciated!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey all! We’re back with Aric and K’agan! Yay! When I reached 3300 words for the NSFW version, it was time to wind up for this chapter, so everything I had planned for the second part of this chapter will be moved to the next…again. Sigh…lol! Ah well! Hope you enjoy! Review and let me know what you think!

The next few days passed in a never ending series of appointments, procedures and tests. Luckily for Aric he was in and out of consciousness for most of it, in a kolto induced fog. Each time he woke, we’d spend time reassuring him, explaining what happened and where he was, before he’d pass out again, only to have to explain all over again the next time he woke up. It was disconcerting and worrying. 

“How’s Aric doing?” 

“Hmmm?” I said, roused from thoughts. 

“I asked,” I heard a voice behind me, “How’s he doing?”

Turning in my seat I said, “Oh Corso, sorry, he’s about the same, resting peacefully.”

Smiling the human agreed, “He always quiet when you’re near.”

“I feel calmer when I’m near him too,” I replied, glancing at the bed, where my hand was holding Aric’s.

The moment I was standing next to him in the hospital room, something inside me settled. During our last mission I had been anxious, distracted and irritable. All of my thoughts and worries had been back here on Coruscant with my mate. He was all I could think about. I was so distracted I felt it wasn’t safe for me or my squad in the field, which is why I took temporary leave from my assignment, so I could stay here, in this room, where my peace was.

“I understand,” he said, placing a caring hand on my shoulder. 

I’m sure he did. It was obvious that he loved K’eegan, just as I loved Aric. Patting his hand, with my free one, “I know you do.” 

We stayed that way for a few minutes, each lost in our own thoughts, until Doctor Jeffre quietly walked in. “Hello,” he said, continuing to the monitors.

As Corso removed his hand, we greeted the doctor in unison. “Doctor Jeffre,” and laughed.

Shaking his head, he doctor asked, “How has everything been?” 

“I just got here,” Corso answered, nodding to me, “K’agan had the last shift.”

“Quiet,” I said, as the doctor turned to me. “He’s slept peacefully, only waking a few times.”

“Good, good,” the doctor said, as he added my comments to the notes in his datapad. After double checking Aric’s oxygen, he asked, “Any questions for me?”

“Yes,” I replied, brushing my fingertips along Aric’s cheekbone, trying to calm myself. I needed to remember he was here with me. 

“Go ahead K’agan,” giving me his full attention, “Ask away.”

“Is there something wrong with Aric?”

“Why would you ask that?” he evasively answered my question with one of his own.

“I don’t like when people do that,” I said, narrowing my eyes.

“What?”

“Answer a question with a question,” I said, glaring at him.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, chagrinned, “Let’s start again.”

“Ok,” I agreed, but before I could ask my question, Aric started stirring, moving a little bit. Stroking his brow, I softly said, “Aric? Are you awake?”

“Hmmmm,” he sleepily slurred, “K’agan?”

“Right here,” I replied, “Can you open your eyes for me?” running my fingers across his forehead comfortingly.

Opening an eye, he immediately closed it again. Eventually he tried again, rapidly blinking his eyes, before finally opening them. “You ok?”

“Yes,” I reassured him again. “You were the one hurt.”

“As long as you’re ok,” his eyes started drifting closed again.

“No,” I growled gently in the back of my throat, “It’s not ok.” I hated hearing my mate dismiss his own safety so easily.

“Gauntlet’s destroyed?”

“Yes,” I repeated again, “We destroyed it.”

Turning his head slightly he asked, “Where are we?”

“Republic Medical on Coruscant,” I answered again, hand resting against his head.

“Love you,” he mumbled, drifting to sleep again. 

“Love you too,” I said, kissing his cheek.

He smiled as he fell into slumber.

Straightening I looked at Doctor Jeffre, who had been watching us silently. “He’s like this every time he wakes. Is something wrong with Aric?”

“No,” he said, “While it is possible that he suffered brain damage due to lack of oxygen, I don’t think it’s likely in this case.” 

“What is it then?”

“Captain Jorgan has experienced a traumatic event and it’s the last thing he remembers clearly. Since waking from the kolto he really hasn’t been awake long enough to process what you’ve been telling him, let alone storing it in his long term memory. As a consequence, each time he wakes, he doesn’t remember what you’ve told him the last time, so he asks the same questions again.”

“Ok,” I said, that actually made a lot of sense.

“Just keep reassuring him,” the doctor continued, “as he keeps improving the problem should resolve itself.”

I was somewhat reassured by the answer, though I wouldn’t quit worrying until Aric was well and out of the medical center. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Jayd said, “Now I need to complete my rounds. I’ll see you later.”

Nodding the doctor headed for the door, where he was met by my twin, K’eegan. “Hello Doctor,” she said.

“K’eegan,” he returned. Motioning in my direction he added, “You should make sure your sister gets some rest.”

“Exactly what I’d planned on,” she agreed, with a smile I recognized.

He laughed and continued out the door and down the corridor, heading for his next patient.

“Hey babe,” K’eegan said, as Corso pulled her close and kissed her.

Trying to give them some privacy, I turned my eyes back to Aric. While I was anxious for him to get better, I was pleased with his slow but sure progress. Better yet, I was happy to be here with him every step of the way.

I was broken from my thoughts when K’eegan asked me, “Ready to head out?”

“You two go ahead,” I said, holding Aric’s hand again, “I’ll stay here.”

“Nope,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s not the plan. You’ve been here all day. Corso will stay here while you eat and get some rest.”

Sighing, I argued, “Honestly, K’eegan I’m not hungry. You two go to dinner and have some fun. I’m fine here.”

“No,” my twin said, firmly, crossing her arms across her chest. “I’ve got dinner waiting for us.”

“K’eegan,” I almost whined. “I’m fine.”

“You of all people,” Corso laughed at me, “Should know better than to argue with her. She always wins.”

“No,” I said, crossing my arms and meeting her glare, “No, she doesn’t!”

We glared at each other until a voice mumbled from the bed, “Go eat, rest.”

That broke our glaring contest and we turned our attention to the figure in the bed.

“I’m fine,” I said again, trying to reassure Aric.

“No,” my twin argued, “You’re not. It’s Corso shift. Let’s go.”

“Seeing double,” my mate said softly.

“No,” I smiled, “K’eegan is here too.”

“Mmmmm,” he said, as he turned to my twin. “Feed her.”

I sagged against the bed in defeat. Not much I could do if my mate turned on me too. “Never takes care of herself,” he continued.

“I’ll take care of her for you,” my twin crowed triumphantly. “You can’t argue with the man K’agan. Come on!” trying to grab my arm but was to dodge the attempt.   
“I’ll take good care of Aric,” Corso said, sitting down in the chair, as my mate drifted back to sleep, “While you’re gone.”

“I know you will but,” I started but my twin grabbed my arm. 

“Kiss your mate and let’s go,” she ordered me.

Leaning forward, I kissed Aric on the lips and smiled when he sighed contentedly. “Love you, I’ll see you a little later,” I whispered to him.

Standing, I watched my twin kiss Corso, before taking hold of my arm again. “Let’s go,” she said as she started pulling me towards the door.

“Stop K’eegan,” I said, pulling my arm from her grasp, as Corso settled into my emptied chair. “Quit pulling me, we aren’t five anymore.”

Sighing, I followed my sister into the hallway and to the elevator. She pushed the button and the doors opened immediately. 

As the car started downwards, K’eegan said, “I ordered dinner, we just need to pick it up on the way home.” 

“What’d you get?” I asked, as we walked out the front of the building.

“A selection of stuff from the Corellian restaurant around the corner from our building,” she said, hailing a taxi droid.

“A taste of home,” I said, climbing inside the vehicle.

“Exactly,” K’eegan agreed, as she got in behind me and gave the droid the address of the restaurant. “I figured we’d pick up the food, head home and have a quiet evening in.”

“Sounds good,” I sighed, resting my head against the seat behind me. Tired, I let my eyes drift closed as we travelled, the sounds lulling me into a light haze of sleep.

“K’agan,” a voice said, shaking me gently, “We’re home.”

“What?” I asked, sitting up and rubbing my eyes, “thought we had to pick up some food."

“We already did,” she said, paying the droid, as the door opened.

“Wow,” I replied, stepping out on to our landing pad. “I didn’t even notice.”

“You were out,” she agreed, grabbing some bags. “Can you grab the others?”

“Yes,” I said, picking up the last two, and shutting the taxi door. 

“Stand clear,” the droid ordered, as the taxi began to hover above the landing pad, before taking off and rejoining the flow of traffic. 

Carrying the bags, I followed K’eegan towards the door. Pressing a button, the door whished open for us and we continued inside. We were immediately greeted by noises from the living room.

“Is K’addes here?” I asked my sister.

She shrugged. “I thought they were going out.”

Rounding the corner, we stood stunned in the entryway to the living room. Our baby brother was making love to his padawan inside. They were naked and he was sitting in the large arm chair, Kira, astride his lap.

“K’addes,” Kira whimpered, arching her back as he cupped her breast and drew the nipple into his mouth and sucking it. 

Neither of them had noticed us. Embarrassed, I grabbed my twin’s arm and tried to pull her back into the hallway. Resisting, K’eegan swatted at my hold and pulled my arm from her grasp. “No!” she mouthed, as she planted herself against the wall, and watched the pair of lovers, enthralled. 

“Come on!” I mouthed back, indicating the door.

She vehemently shook her head.

Turning, I started to walk out but K’eegan grabbed my arm and kept me from leaving. Leaning in close, she whispered, “If he didn’t want us to see, he should have taken her to his room!”

“K’eegan!” I hissed back, “Let me go.”

I did not want to watch my brother have sex with Kira! 

Holding on to my arm, she refused to let me leave. Finally giving in, I leaned back against the wall, closed my eyes and hoped to close the whole thing out. Unfortunately for me, the scent their arousal hung heavily in the air and the sounds of their love making filled my ears. Eventually I opened my eyes and glanced at my sister. Following her gaze, the sight of my brother and Kira filled my eyes.

Leaning into him, Kira was kissing him deeply, passionately. Returning the kiss with equal fervor, K’addes allowed his hands to roam of their own accord, covering as much skin as possible. Slowly his hand slipped between her legs and I heard her inhale sharply, as he pushed a finger inside her. The scent in the air spiked with her growing need.  
“Need you,” she whispered against his lips, as he began to work his finger in and out of her.

She tilted her head back and moaned when K’addes pushed his finger deeper into her heat. “Fuck.”

“I intend too,” he growled, turning his attention to her other nipple. He drew it into his mouth and nipped the soft skin. Kira’s hips bucked and rolled in response.

Smiling, he slipped a second finger in with the first, slowly working them deeper and driving Kira crazy with need. 

“Now K’addes,” she said, grinding against his hand. The action caused him to buck underneath her, “Inside me,” pushing into his hold. 

Hissing, my brother kissed up her chest to her neck. Finding her pulse point, he sucked in a large bit of skin and marked her.

“Please,” she pleaded.

When K’addes pulled his fingers out of her, Kira keened with the loss. Reaching up with both hands, he buried his hands in her beautiful red hair. Grabbing two handfuls, he pulled her head down and kissed her hard, pouring all his passion into it. 

Gulping for air, when they parted, she rested her forehead against his. A wicked look spread across her face. Reaching between them, she gently gripped his cock and in one hard movement, she sat back, hilting his length deeply inside her pussy. 

“Fuck,” my brother arched off the chair, at the feeling, causing his companion to moan in need. 

Sitting still for a few long moments, the pair each allowed the other to adjust to the feelings rushing through their bodies. Finally, resting her hands on his broad chest, Kira slowly started slowly rolling her hips. Continuing her slow ride, Kira leaned forward and nipped at his lips, down his neck, before returning and sinking her tongue into his eager mouth. 

I felt my twin grasp my arm. I looked from her hold on my arm, up to her face. Her eyes were riveted on the couple and she was biting her lower lip. When she noticed I was looking at her, she gave me a tentative grin but quickly returned to watching the pair on the other side of the room.

Groaning into the kiss and K’addes thrusted his hips into hers, taking him deeper. 

“Gods,” she panted, breaking the kiss.

Taking the opportunity, he grabbed Kira’s breasts in both hands, tweaking her nipples, causing them to peak at his touch. Moaning Kira rocked her hips hard against his cock inside her. Encouraged, K’addes circled a peak with his tongue, drawing it into his mouth, as his hand continued to play with the other. 

Watching them, I imagined it was Aric and I, with his cock buried inside me, as I rode him. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from groaning. Gods! Just watching this was making me hot! K’eegan was just as turned on next to me and I was positive Corso would reap the benefits later.

“K’addes,” Kira panted in need, picking up the pace.

“Kira,” he returned, resting his hands on her hips and thrusting deeper into her heat again and again.

“Not gonna,” she started but was silenced when he pushed into her again. Throwing back her head, back arched, she shook her head, as her hips kept riding him.

Hot and sweaty, K’addes dropped all pretenses as his passions escalated, thrusting ever harder and more erratically into her hot center. Both of their bodies were taut and close to the edge.

Suddenly a sweet, tangy scent permeated the air moments before K’addes shoved his length deeply into Kira’s heat one last time. His body shuttered and he shouted his release, filling her with his essence.

The feeling of him coming deep inside her was all it took and Kira shattered, following K’addes into the abyss, her body milking his for every last drop. As the aftershocks rolled through their bodies, Kira laid against K’addes large chest, resting and catching her breath.

“That was,” she started, exhaustion evident in her voice.

“Hot,” K’eegan whispered next to me, “That was so hot!”

Surprised, K’addes looked sharply in our direction, while Kira buried her face in his chest, trying to hide. “What the hell?!”

K’eegan smiled at him and gave him a jaunty little wave. 

That did not help! I could tell by the look on his face, K’addes was irate. Grabbing her hand, I pulled it back down. “I’ll just be…a…” I started trying to slide along the wall towards a door.

Seeming to gather herself, Kira sat up straight and proud on K’addes lap. Carefully, she moved and gently pulled him from her center. Standing up, she looked at us.

“Kira,” K’addes started.

Shaking her finger, she silenced him with one look. Turning she walked towards us. Stopping for a minute, she shook her head and without a word continued out of the room with all the dignity she could muster. In that one small action, my admiration for her grew exponentially. She’d didn’t get embarrassed, cry or run. She faced the situation head on.

Grabbing his pants, my brother pulled them on and stalked towards us, his anger still very evident. Closing in on us, he shouted, “What the hell do you think you were doing?”

“Watching,” K’eegan immediately answered. I sighed at her reply.

K’addes rounded on her. I hadn’t seen my brother this angry with us since we were young kits and we made him the brunt of one of our jokes. He loomed over her, over us, using every bit of his height and bulk to his advantage. “And why in the stars didn’t you leave?”

“It was hot,” K’eegan said again, as if that explained everything. I just closed my eyes and shook my head again because I knew what was coming.

And my baby brother did not disappoint, his famed Jedi control broke and he raged at the pair of us. He yelled at us for watching, being disrespectful and invading his privacy. 

Wow! That sounded just like old times!! The whole situation and his reaction actually made me start grinning too. 

“This isn’t funny!” he said angrily.

“Actually,” I said, trying not to laugh. “Yes, it is.”

“What you did was totally out of line and disrespectful,” he spat at us.

“Maybe,” I allowed but getting a little angry myself. I knew K’addes had a right to be upset but this was getting out of hand. Stepping into his personal space, I put a finger in this chest and forced him to take a step back, giving us some room. 

He didn’t say anything; instead he continued to glare at my finger. “Maybe, we should have left and not watched,” I added, glancing at K’eegan, who still didn’t look like she regretted her actions.

“Exactly,” he said, “but you stayed and ogled us like teenagers!”

“Yes,” I didn’t see the point in denying it, “BUT you were the ones to put yourself on display.” 

He started to say something but I cut him off, “No,” poking him in the chest again, “You knew we were on planet and staying here too. You could have taken Kira back to your room but you,” poke in the chest, “You were the one to decide to stay out in the living room,” step closer to him again, “a public space in this apartment!”

“I’ve had enough of this crap,” I turned to leave, “I’m sorry we embarrassed you but you should have known better.” 

My siblings were standing their stunned into silence, “Come on K’eegan, grab the bags lets go eat. I’ve had a long day,” and I walked out of the room.

“There’s enough for you and Kira, if you’d like to join us,” my twin offered as a peace offering, before she followed me.

We were sitting at the dining room table, emptying the take out bags when we heard K’addes bedroom door open and close.

“Think they’ll join us?” K’eegan asked.

“Maybe,” I shrugged, not really caring. “Once he cools off.”

Pulling a plate towards me, I filled my plate and got down to the business of eating. I had no idea I was so hungry…

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All reviews are greatly appreciated and used to feed my muse!!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a little longer than I expected and came out a longer than I expected but I hope you enjoy it!! Let me know what you think!!

We didn’t see the missing pair for the rest of the evening. We ate, cleaned up and put the leftovers away. Afterwards, we whiled away a few hours watching holovids together until Corso returned to the apartment. The moment he was through the door, my twin ditched me like a bad habit, nearly dragging him off to her room. I heard the door open and close with a click of the lock sliding into place. 

I thanked my lucky stars the apartment had thick walls! I knew what was going on in those rooms, but once a day was enough, thank you very much. I did not need to see K’eegan having sex too. I tried to push the memory of K’addes and Kira from my mind. Gah!

Just for a moment, I couldn’t help the jealousy that flashed through me. My siblings had their mates or at the very least someone they care about, here, with them, while Aric was still in the hospital, his future so uncertain and full of unknowns. I tried telling myself that at least he was alive but it didn’t quell the jealousy, the longing for Aric to hold me.  
Sighing, I rubbed the ache from my temples and blew out a low breath. I’d had enough for tonight. Grabbing the remote I turned the holo’s off, before heading for my room.  
“Will there be anything else this evening Mistress K’agan?” P6 asked as I opened my door.

“No,” I told the droid, “you can power down and recharge for the night.”

“Yes Miss K’agan,” P6 said, as it turned and toddled away, presumably to recharge.

I shut the door behind me and locked it. Shedding my clothes, I changed into the t-shirt and shorts I usually wore to bed, before heading to my en suite bathroom and completing my nightly ablutions. Finishing, I turned off the light and headed to bed. I'd curled up under the blankets, trying to find a comfortable position but failing miserably. I tossed and turned for a while. I missed Aric…his warmth, the feeling of him lying next to me and the feel of his arms around me. 

Finally admitting defeat, I flung the covers back and got up. Padding barefoot across the floor, I opened a drawer and pulled out an old sweatshirt, Aric’s old Academy sweatshirt. He had leant it to me after a particularly bad mission and I kept it. It was soft and comfy but more importantly it felt and smelled of him. I needed that right now, the feeling of his scent around me, protecting me. 

Slipping it on and pushing up the sleeves, I picked up a sketchbook and pencils and headed back to bed. I leaned back against the headboard and pulled the covers up again. Opening my book to a blank page, I started doodling. That soon turned to drawing. My breath caught in my throat when I realized what or rather who I’d drawn…Aric in the armory. Closing the book, I allowed a few tears to slip down my cheeks. Snuggling down in the covers with my sweatshirt and book, I finally drifted off to sleep, my head full of thoughts if my mate. 

The next morning, I was awoken by the early morning sunlight streaming into the large windows. Sitting up, I yawned and stretched, before reluctantly getting up. I carefully took the sweatshirt off, folded it up and started to put it back into the drop. Stopping, I closed my eyes, brought it up and took a big sniff of the fabric, relishing the smell of Aric, letting it wash over my senses and surround me. 

“Gods, I love you,” I whispered, as I put it back in the drawer, saving it for another night when I need my mate close. 

Heading out to the main dining room, I wasn’t surprised to find K’eegan already at the table. Pulling out a chair, I sat down next to my sister, grabbed a bowl of mixed fruit and started spooning some onto my plate.

We ate quietly, until I heard a door down the hall open and close. Glancing up, I saw Kira headed our way. She joined us at the table, not looking at us, as she slid into a seat on my other side. Her cheeks had a tell-tale pink tinge and I knew she was embarrassed about the incident the night before. Taking the bull by the horns, I broke the silence.  
“I’m sorry Kira,” I said. 

She looked up from her plate, grimaced and took a deep breath, as if bracing herself for the worst. “No need to apologize,” she started. 

“We shouldn't,” I protested, but she waived me off. 

“And we shouldn't have stayed in the living room,” she said, dishing food on to her plate, “If we wanted privacy.” 

“Still,” I tried, “We shouldn't have stayed when we realized what was going on.” 

“Thank you,” Kira said, taking a bite. 

I discretely kicked my sister under the table causing her to choke on a bite of food. She coughed and finally swallowed, asking, “What was that for?”

“Apologize to Kira.” 

“What for?” K’eegan asked.

Face palming, I rested my elbows on the table, closed my eyes and shook my head. My sister could be so lacking in tactic sometimes. Sighing, I explained, “Apologize for watching them yesterday.”

“Why?” she asked again, with a grin, “I’d rather thank her.”

Now it was my turn to be puzzled. “What?”

Not bothering to answer me, K’eegan turned to Kira, “Thank you,” she said, “I had a great night with Corso after watching you.” When I started to say something, K’eegan continued with a smile, “I’d also like to apologize. I never meant to embarrass you. K’addes yes, our baby brother knows better than to tempt me like that...you no, not intentionally.”

Kira smiled. “After the stories he’s told me, I’m sure he does know better!”

All of us grinned at each other, before we broke down and started laughing. After a minute or two, we were just setting down, when my brother decided to join us.  
“What’s so funny?” he asked, before bending down and kissing Kira on the top of the head in greeting.

We erupted into laughter again. K’addes looked at each of us in turn, causing more chuckles at his expense, until he finally shook his head, accepted he probably wouldn’t get an answer and started dishing up breakfast.

As I finally got myself under control, I explained, “We were just apologizing to Kira.”

“Yes,” K’eegan agreed, nodding her and taking a bite.

As we continued to eat, he asked, “And , am I getting an apology?”

“Nope,” my twin answered, after swallowing.

K’addes’ face darkened and I knew he was about to blow again. Figuratively stepping between my siblings, I offered, “For my part, I’m sorry K’addes. We shouldn’t have watched.”  
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he seemed to center himself and let go of his anger. Opening his eyes, he nodded at me and said, “Thank you sister.”  
I kicked K’eegan under the table and glared at her again.

“Stop that!” my twin said, as she bumped the table trying to get away from me.

“Apologize,” I hissed. We were rarely together like this anymore and I didn’t want to deal with arguments.

“I did,” she retorted.

“To K’addes,” I directed her. 

Waving it off, my brother said, “Don’t worry about it K’agan. It would be meaningless if she didn’t mean it.” He promptly started eating and ignored my twin.  
“Fine, fine,” she said, turning to K’addes, “I’m sorry.” Looking at me, she asked, “Happy now?”

“Don’t ask me,” I said, pointing to our brother, “Ask K’addes.”

Turning, she looked at him and raised her eyebrows, obviously asking if was satisfied.

He sat quietly for a long moment, seeming to study K’eegan, weighing some unknown factors in his head. Finally he sighed, shook his head and said, “Accepted. You’ll never change, will you sister?”

“Nope,” she said, popping the ‘p’ sound, causing us all to roll our eyes at her.

“Don’t let anyone tell you that you need to change,” K’addes said, “even me. You keep us on our toes.”

Smiling, K’eegan offered again, “Truly, I apologize.”

This time K’addes waved it off, and said, “All’s forgiven.” 

After that we all got down to the business of eating and the only thing heard in the room was silverware scraping dishes. As I finished eating I sat back in my chair, took a sip of my juice and watched my siblings finish up. There were times they seriously annoyed me but most of the time I knew I was blessed to have them here with me. The only one missing was our brother, K’ye, the oldest sibling. He was on Corellia, learning to run the family business. While it had been expected that he’d take over after our father retired, it was an added bonus that he enjoyed it and was actually good at running the large shipping company. I missed him at times like this, when the rest of us were together.

“I miss him too,” K’eegan said, glancing at our brother’s empty seat. Shoving me gently, she added, “He’s even easier to tease than you two!” making everyone at the table laugh.

“He is,” I agreed, with a grin. I’m not sure if it was being the eldest or what, but K’ye was always much more serious than the rest of us. 

Changing the subject, K’addes asked, “What are your plans for today K’agan?”

“As soon as we finish up I’m heading back to the medical center,” I answered, as if the there was any doubt about what I’d be doing. “You?” I asked him.

“Kira and I have business at the Jedi Temple today,” he answered, “But we’ll be by the hospital later this afternoon.”

“OK,” I said, glad to have them stop by, “And you K’eegan, what are your plans?”

“I have some business to attend to this morning,” she said, being purposely vague. “But it shouldn’t take long.”

Nodding, I knew better than to ask her details. My sister was always careful about what shipments she took, but not all of K’eegan’s dealings were one hundred percent above board. She never smuggled spice but she wasn’t above running guns for causes she cared about or delivering medicines to people who desperately needed them, no matter what their governments thought. Plus over the years, my father and now my brother realized having a smuggler in the family came in handy when legal shipping channels weren’t open to a shipment.

Standing and pushing my chair in, I said, “I’m going to grab my bag and head out. I’ll see you later.”

“Tell Aric hi for me,” Kira said, finishing her food.

“I will,” I replied, smiling at her. She and Aric were good friends.

“I won’t be long,” K’eegan reassured me.

“I’ll be fine,” I told her. “Aric is getting better.”

“I know,” she said, glancing up at me, “Just,” she trailed.

“You worry.”

“Yeah,” K’eegan agreed, “that’s it,” but it wasn’t convincing.

I had enough to worry about without adding another one. If my twin wanted to tell me, otherwise I’d let her keep her secrets.

Heading towards my room, P6 intercepted me, my backpack in hand. “I have it ready for you Miss K’agan.”

“Thanks P6,” I said, taking the bag and throwing it over one shoulder. “You spoil me.”

“Always ready to serve my family,” he answered, as he tottered away.

Walking out to the landing pad, I climbed on to my waiting speeder. Turning the key, I revved the engine and pulled the other strap of my bag over my other shoulder. Ready, I took off and merged into traffic. Having made this trip many times now, I didn’t give the trip much thought, lost in my thoughts. So, before I knew it, I pulled up outside the large glass building.

Parking my bike in the small lot, I shut it off and took the key, hurrying into the building. Taking the elevator to Aric’s floor, I got out and saw Elara down the hall, standing at the nurse’s station speaking to Hayle.

“Good morning Major,” Elara said brightly for someone who had been at the hospital all night.

Aric and I were lucky. Between family and friends, someone was always with my mate, day and night. More than once I’d stopped and visited with other lonely soldiers. For many, their family’s lived on far flung planets and it was cost prohibitive to visit their injured family members. For others, the war had taken a toll on their planets and families, leaving them alone in this universe. Whatever the reason, they were alone. Aric wouldn’t begrudge them a few minutes of my time; in fact he’d be upset with me if I didn’t take the time to care for our injured brothers and sisters in arms. Aric always, always took care of the troops.

“Elara,” I answered her, “Hayle,” I said to her companion. “How’s Aric this morning?”

“He had a good night sir,” Elara said, in her proper tone. “The last time he awoke, he seemed more oriented. He didn’t ask about what happened, instead asking where you were and for a drink of water.”

“He didn’t ask if I was ok?” I asked. This was new. Up until now Aric never remembered what happened. He’d wake up, ask if I was fine and after we reassured him, he’d fall asleep again.

“No sir,” she answered, “He only asked where you were. I told him that it was the middle of the night and you were at the apartment sleeping. He took that at face value and asked for a drink of water.”

“We gave him some ice chips,” Hayle supplied, as she picked up a data pad.

“And he fell back into a peaceful sleep,” Elara ended.

Maybe we’d turned the figurative corner. I couldn’t help but hope. Smiling, I said, “Thank you Elara.”

“You’re most welcome sir,” she returned with a small smile of her own.

“I’ve got this,” I told her, motioning for her to head out, “Go back to the ship and get some rest.”

“Yes sir,” she said, heading for the lift. “I’ll see you later,” and out of sight.

Coming around the edge of the nurses station, Hayle asked, “How are you Major?”

“Good,” I said, “ready to see Aric.”

“Shall we?” and gestured to his room.

“Lead the way,” I said and followed her in to my mate’s room.

I felt a sense of peace and completeness settled over me as I stepped into the room, feelings that were strongest when I was close to my mate. He was sleeping quietly in the bed, breathing still assisted by the supplemental oxygen and machines monitoring him. Walking to the bed, I softy kissed him and sat down in the chair, while Hayle started checking things and entering the results into her pad.

Picking up his hand, I held it and whispered, “Good morning love.”

I was surprised when he replied, “Morning babe.”

“Hey, you’re awake,” I said, squeezing his hand and kissing his knuckles.

“Yeah,” he said, slowly blinking a few times and opening his eyes.

Stepping closer to the bed, Hayle said, “Captain Jorgan, it’s good to see you awake.”

“Not Captain,” he replied, taking a breath, “Lieutenant Jorgan.” 

The nurse typed something into his chart, while I said, smiling, “Not anymore, Congratulations.” I hoped it was a good sign that Aric was aware enough to correct her.

“Thanks,” he whispered, “I think,” before asking, “Can I get something to drink?”

Picking up a cup and spoon, Hayle scooped up some ice chips, “Just ice for now but maybe we can get you something more in a little while.”  
He nodded and sighed, as she put the chips into his mouth. “Ok.”

I couldn’t stop myself from brushing my fingertips along his forehead and temple. Taking a deep breath, I started, “I need to tell you something.” I wasn’t taking any chances; I needed to confess my feelings for him.

“Captain Jorgan,” Doctor Jeffre said, as he came through the door, my sister right behind him, “I heard you were awake. “ Introducing himself, “I’m Dr. Jeffre and I’ve been your attending physician.

Not taking his eyes off of me, seeming to ask me what I was going to ask, while he answered, “Doctor.”

“Later,” I whispered.

“Aric,” my twin greeted my mate, as she leaned down to kiss his cheek, “It’s good to see you awake.” Winking at him, she added, “You had K’agan in a worried tizzy.”

I just shook my head. What could I say? I was worried about him; I’m not sure about the ‘tizzy’ part but most definitely worried. So, instead of taking her bait, I just let the comment slide.

Stepping back, K’eegan allowed Dr. Jeffre to start examining Aric. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Like I’ve been run over by a rampaging herd of banthas,” he answered.

“That sounds about right,” the doctor said, pulling out a stethoscope and placing it against Aric’s chest, listening for something. “Any pain I need to know about?”

“Meh,” Aric said, not really answering the question.

“Chest?” the doctor asked as he checked over Aric’s healing wounds. “Arm?”

“A little,” Aric admitted. “But don’t want anything that will make me sleepy.”

The doctor immediately injected something into one of Aric’s intravenous lines and watched the small lines in his face relax. “Better?” the doctor asked.

“Yeah,” my mate answered, “Thanks.”

“Now I need to check your back,” the doctor said, laying a hand on Aric’s thigh. “We’ll just gently roll…,” he continued but stopped suddenly.

Glancing back up at my mate’s face, I could see the panic and horror building. “What the hell doc??”

I was terrified to know what was wrong but prompted, “Aric?”

“Why can’t I feel my legs??”

I felt like someone punched me in the chest as all the air rushed out of my lungs. ‘No, No, NO!’ I chanted in my head. This couldn’t be happening!!! No, No NO!!

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know, I know, evil cliffie!! Sorry but it was the perfect place to stop. I couldn’t pass it up!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just looked at Flirting with Desire and realized the last time I updated the story was February 8th!? Can’t believe time has slipped away that fast! Ah well, hopefully this chapter will make up for the wait! Enjoy!!
> 
> I’d also like to thank Jediserenity82 for taking the time to look this over for me!! It was greatly appreciated!

K’agan’s POV

He couldn’t feel his legs?! This could not be happening! We had been through so much, come so far, this couldn’t happen now. Why did this have to happen to my mate? What would happen if Aric couldn’t have my back again?

“K’agan.”

My chest started to hurt. I was getting light headed and I was seeing dark spots float in front of my eyes.

“K’agan,” I felt someone grab my shoulders and steer me to a chair next to the bed. Forcing me to sit down, someone grabbed the back of my head and gently pushed it down between my legs, “Breath sister.”

“Can’t,” I managed to whisper. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest.

“Yes, you can,” K’eegan argued, “Slow and easy.” 

I couldn’t do it! Damn. After dodging death on the battlefield, was I going to suffocate to death in a hospital? What a way to go.

“Major!” another voice demanded my attention and I looked up. Dr. Jeffre knelt down next to me. “I won’t let anything happen to the captain. He may be a little broken, but he’s still alive and here. Focus on that.”

I nodded my understanding. The doctor was right; I had a lot to be thankful for, even if Aric never walked again. Closing my eyes, I tried to relax and draw some air into my aching lungs but it was still difficult.

“K’agan,” the doctor said, “Like this,” he directed, picking up my hand, placing it against his chest, and holding it there. He started taking slow breaths, in and out.

Keeping my eyes closed, I focused on his directions, the sound of his voice and the feeling of his chest rising and falling under my hand. Following his simple directions, I felt the band around my chest loosen and the dark spots faded. Finally, I inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. Smiling at Doctor Jeffre, I said, “Thank you.”

Grinning, he answered, “You’re welcome,” standing up. “Now,” he continued, stepping back to Aric’s bed, “Shall I continue with my examination?”

“Yes,” I said, slightly chagrined, “Please do.”

“You okay?” my twin asked, moving to stand next to my chair.

“Yeah,” I told her, nodding.

“Wait Doc,” I heard Aric say. I looked towards his bed and saw him holding his hand out, beckoning me to get up and take it. “K’agan.”

Standing up, I took it and Aric pulled me closer to him. Studying me closely with his concerned green eyes, he asked, “Are you alright?”

Nodding, I said, “You shouldn’t be worrying about me,” I leaned down and gently kissed him, “You’re the one hurt and in this bed,” resting my forehead against his, “I was so scared,” I whispered.

“I’ll always worry about you,” he said, reaching up with one hand and resting it against my cheek. “I love you.”

Closing my eyes, I leaned into his touch and with a small smile, I answered, “I love you too,” nuzzling his hand. Deciding not to waste any more time, I continue, “There’s something I need to share with you.”

Brow furrowing, he asked, “What?”

“She’s going to tell him,” K’eegan nearly squealed behind me, reminding me we weren’t alone.

Glancing over my shoulder, I glared at my twin and said, “Later.” She stuck her tongue out at me. I turned back to Aric, “When we’re alone and nosy sisters can’t eavesdrop. “

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes,” I nodded, “It can wait a few more hours.” Straightening up, I took hold of Aric’s hand, as he lowered it to the bed and gripped it tight.“Ready for this?”

“I guess,” Aric said, never taking his eyes off of me.

“Together,” I assured him.

“Together,” he echoed, with a lopsided grin.

I was so focused on my mate I never heard the doctor move around the bed until he was standing opposite of me. “K’agan,” he said, making me jump a little bit. “Sorry,” he added.

“Its fine,” I replied, “What did you need?”

“Just move up that way,” he said, gesturing towards the head of the bed. “Thanks,” he added, when I moved. “We’re going to gently roll him on to his side and take a look at his back.” Putting a hand on Aric’s side, he called, “Hayle.”

“Yes doctor,” she answered, standing next to me.

“Towards you,” he directed her, “On one.” Gently holding on to Aric’s shoulder and hip, the doctor said, “And one.” Working together, they slowly turned Aric on to his side.

“Careful.” When they had him in place, the doctor ordered. “Hold him right there.”

“Yes doctor,” she answered.

“Aric,” Dr. Jeffre said, before starting his physical examination of Aric’s back. “I’m going to start at your shoulders and work my way down your back, checking your injuries,” he explained, “I need you to let me know when you can’t feel my hands.” He stopped for a moment and asked, “Understood?”

“Yeah doc,” Aric answered softly, “Got it.”

“Alright,” the doctor said, “I’m going to start.” He gently touched Aric’s shoulders and slowly worked his way down my mate’s back and spine.

During the whole process, I never took my eyes off Aric’s face. As they moved him and as the doctor examined him, I watched it cloud, not with pain but fear. I realized he’d used my panic attack to distract himself from the worry about his legs. Never letting go of his hand, I reached behind me and pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down. With my free hand, I used my fingertips to trace the creases on his forehead and down his cheek.

“I’m here,” I tried to reassure him.

He nodded his head but didn’t say anything.

The longer the exam took, the slower time seemed to move until it was almost crawling. Trying to relieve some of the anxiety clouding my mate’s features, I leaned forward, kissed his forehead and ran my fingers down his cheek, trying to offer what comfort I could. Closing his eyes, Aric seemed to soak in all of my support, making me smile.  
Aric’s voice broke the moment, “Right there, Doc. I can’t feel anything.”

The doctor acknowledged Aric with a soft hum and continued examining the area where he lost feeling. Unsurprisingly, the area corresponded with the blaster wound my mate had taken to his back during the fire fight on the bridge of the Gauntlet. I watched the play of emotions cross Doctor Jeffre’s face as he worked, from thoughtful introspection, concentration, and finally concern.

After what seemed like an eternity but was probably just another minute or two, the doctor said, “Okay Haley, I’m done. Let’s gently roll him over again.”

“Yes doctor,” she answered.

Together the pair carefully rolled Aric back on to his back and settled him on to the bed. Though I stayed out of her way as she worked, I held on to Aric’s hand the whole time. She grabbed some pillows and propped Aric up, straightened and tucked the blankets in around him and adjusted the lines and leads hooked up to my mate. Finally, she checked the monitors and oxygen supply, making notes into her datapad. “All done,” she said, heading for the door, “I need to check on some other patients, if you need anything press the button.”

“Thank you Hayle,” Doctor Jeffre said, as he pulled a seat up next to Aric’s bed beside me.

“Thank you,” K’eegan said for me. I was too wrapped up in my concerns for my mate to think about manners. Luckily my twin was there to take care of the details for me. Stepping up behind me, she rested a hand lightly on my shoulder.

“What’s the verdict, doc?” Aric asked, a noticeable, at least by me, tremor to his voice.

Taking a deep breath, the trauma doctor let it out slowly, typing something into his datapad. After a few long tense moments, he finally answered, “At this point,” he slowed down again and cleared his voice before answering, “Total paralysis below the wound site.”

‘No! No! NO!’ I screamed inside. This couldn't be happening. I clutched Aric’s hand tighter, both receiving and giving comfort, as my tears started streaking down my cheeks.  
“Is it,” Aric started but his voice caught in his throat and he stopped for a moment. Clearing his throat, he started again, “Is it permanent?”

“Maybe,” Doctor Jeffre answered, typing some more data into the ever present pad, “The blaster bolt to your back damaged the never endings,” he explained. “They should have regenerated in the kolto tank.”

“And they didn’t,” I said, looking at the doctor.

“No,” the doctor agreed, “And I’m not sure why.”

“Can anything be done to fix it?” Aric asked. He was being amazingly calm but I could hear the fear in his voice.

“I don’t know,” Doctor Jeffre admitted. “I’d like to run some tests this afternoon, see if we can figure out what is causing your paralysis, and then I’ll have a better idea of your long-term prognosis.”

“Sounds good,” Aric answered, closing his eyes and resting his head back against the pillows.

“You should get some rest,” the doctor said, standing up, “I’ll have the techs come get you after lunch and take you down for the testing.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” I answered still holding my mate’s hand, “We appreciate everything.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied, as he walked toward the door. “I’ll see you later,” as he walked out the door.

Standing up, I stood next to Aric’s bed, and gently cupped the side of his face. Leaning down, I kissed him gently on the lips. “I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you, too,” he automatically replied. “But you didn’t sign on for this, for a cripple,” he added, glaring at his legs.

“Listen to me,” I ordered him, turning his head and making him meet my eyes. “I don’t care. I’m in this for the long haul,” my voice getting forceful, “I want you any way I can get you, able-body or a cripple, doesn’t matter as long as you're still here with me.”

Shaking his head and pulling his head away from my hold, he argued, “You didn’t ask for this.”

“Neither did you,” I countered.

“K’agan,” he said and I could hear the resolve increasing in his tone. “I won’t ask you to give up your life, your career, for a cripple.”

“I’m not giving anything up for a cripple,” I argued, getting angry with him, “I’m taking care of my...” I stopped suddenly, remembering someone was still in the room watching us. I looked back at my sister. “Can you give us a minute?”

“Go ahead,” she said, with a knowing smile. “Just pretend I’m not here.”

Huffing at my sister, I said, “It would be easier if you weren’t here!” Giving her a pleading look, I added, “Please K’eegan.”

“Fine,” she reluctantly agreed, starting towards the door, “I’ll go check on breakfast.”

“Thank you, sister,” I told her, as she walked out of the room.

“Yeah, yeah,” she replied, as the door shut behind her.

Shaking my head, I turned back to Aric and said, “Listen to me please,” stroking his cheek to get his attention. When his green eyes met my blue ones, I continued, “You’re my life, my world. Nothing else matters more to me in this universe than you,” I told him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he whispered. “But…”

“No buts,” I stopped him. “I wanted this to be more romantic but you need to hear it now.” I had his full attention now. “Aric, there will never be anyone else for me… you’re my life mate.”

I waited for him to answer me, to reciprocate my feelings. I knew he felt the same way about me… I knew it deep in my soul. But the deafening silence filled the room instead.  
“Aric?” I asked, my breathing becoming ragged with fear and my eyes filling with tears again.

Staring at the ceiling, Aric closed his eyes and seemed to steel himself for something. Sighing he started, “K’agan,” pulling his hand away from me, “I’m so sorry... but…”

“No,” I shouted at him, hot tears streaming down my cheeks. “Don’t say it! Don’t lie to me!”

He ignored me and continued, “K’agan you’re not my mate.”

Shaking my head, the words echoing in my head, “You’re a liar.”

“No,” his voice now firm, “You’re not my mate.”

My breath caught in the back of my throat and the room began to spin, making me feel sick to my stomach. This couldn’t be happening! Unable to stand the sight of him, I ran for the door and let it slam shut behind me. Leaning against the wall, my legs gave out and I slipped to the floor. Pulling my knees up, I buried my face in my knees and sobbed my heart out. My world had shattered into a million tiny pieces and I had no idea how to fix it….

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Runs and hides* Yes, I know. I took you from one angsty cliffie, didn’t fix it, instead making it worse and leaving you on another cliffhanger! I guess I’m just evil that way! Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and review please!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Wow! This chapter grew to unexpected lengths. Hope you enjoy it!!! And thanks again to Jediserenity82 for betaing this for me!! (For those interested in a new take on Aric’s story check out her story Blindsided, it’s a good one!)

**Flirting With Desire**

_K’eegan’s POV_

“K’agan?”

Returning from the cafeteria, I was shocked to find my twin sitting on the floor outside Aric’s room, sobbing her heart out. What had happened? Had Aric suddenly taken a turn for the worse? That didn’t make any sense. The only reason I could think of that K’agan would be crying like this was if Aric died.

My sister didn’t acknowledge me, instead she kept weeping with her face buried in her knees. She either hadn't heard me, or was ignoring me. Sitting down next to her on the floor, I gently laid a hand on top of my twin’s braids. “K’agan what’s going on?”  
Finally looking at me with her tear soaked face, she cried, “Oh K’eegan!” and pulled me into a desperate embrace, hiding her face in my neck as she continued to cry.

“Shhhh,” I comforted her, rubbing her back, “Shhh, its okay.” I hated to see my sister this upset and I still wondered what the hell had happened while I was gone.

We sat that way for a long time, K’agan in tears and me trying to comfort her. Eventually, her sobs turned to whimpers and finally soft hiccupping cries until she finally quieted down, head still resting on my shoulder. Eventually, curiosity got the better of me and I asked, “K’agan what’s happened?”

She just shook her head and refused to answer, silent tears starting again.

Fearing the worst, I tried again, “Is it Aric? Did something happen to your mate?”

“Not,” she stuttered, the sobs returning in earnest. “Not... ” but she seemed to be having trouble forming the right words and couldn’t get it out, instead burying her face in my shoulder again.

“K’agan, what is it?” I was getting worried. My twin was a strong Cathar woman; for something to upset her this badly it had to be bad. “Please sister, tell me what’s happened.”

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, K’agan tried to calm down but she still couldn't answer my question. Desperate for some information, I decided to try and interrogate her with simple questions. “Is Aric the reason you're upset?”

K’agan nodded her agreement but didn’t elaborate. At least it was something, so I tried another, “Did something happen?” I could feel my concern for Aric growing. “Did he take a turn for the worse?”

Shaking her head, K’agan softly reassured me, “No, just his legs.” She choked out the last words.

“Okay,” I hesitantly said. I was glad Aric hadn’t gotten worse, but this wasn’t making any sense. Why was she out here? Unless…

“Did you talk with him?”

She nodded miserably.

“K’agan,” I said, cupping her chin and forcing her to look at me, “You told him you loved him?”  
“Yes.”

“And that he was your life mate?”

“Yes,” she whispered, a single tear sliding down her cheek, making my heart break for her.

“What did he say?”

Another tear, “That I wasn’t his mate.”

“What??” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was obvious to anyone that looked at him; Aric loved K’agan as much as she loved him. Why would he deny it?

Closing her eyes and visibly pushing down her pain, I watched as the look in K’agan’s eyes shifted and darkened, as she tried to distance herself from the heartache. I felt something buried deep in my soul break for my twin. My anger at the person who caused her this pain grew.

“I told Aric,” she started but stopped again, taking deep breaths to reign in her emotions. A cold resignation filled her eyes, as she continued, “I made the mistake of telling Captain Jorgan I loved him and he was my life mate. I won’t make that mistake twice.”

“Oh, K’agan no!” I said, distraught for my sister.

“Yes,” she replied, tone without inflection… emotionless. “He made himself clear, Captain Jorgan doesn’t return my feelings and he rejected me.”

“For some reason he’s lying,” I desperately tried to reassure her. I hated, loathed seeing my twin like this. “I know he loves you.”

Shaking her head dejectedly, K’agan stood and dusted herself off. “Then we’re both wrong,” Turning, she added, “Now, I need to get out of here.”

“K’agan, please don’t do this,” I said, feeling my heart break for my sister.

“This wasn’t my doing,” K’agan nearly snarled, fire momentarily filling her eyes. Averting her gaze, she took a deep breath, calming herself. When she opened them again, voice steely with determination, “I’m done. I just want to go home.”

Gently touching her shoulder, I said, “Give me a minute and I’ll come with you.”

“No, not this time,” K’agan said, shaking her head, “I need to be alone,” staring at the door to Aric’s room, a worried look on her face.

“I’ll stay with him,” I told her without hesitation. “I’ll catch up with you later.” Making a shooing gesture I added, “Go, clear your head.”

Giving me a quick hug, K’agan whispered, “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Without another word, my twin turned and began walking down the wall. I watched her back disappeared around the corner. I stood staring at the now empty hall. This couldn’t be happening. What the hell happened in the few minutes I had been gone? Why would Aric reject K’agan? He loved her as much, if not more, than she loved him. This made no sense. Turning, I glared at the door. He had answers and I wanted them. No one got away with hurting K’agan like that, life mate or not.  
Staring at the door for a moment, I took a steadying breath and tried to rein in my growing anger. No use barging in and yelling at him. I was unlikely to get anything from him that way. Finally pushing the button, the door slid open and I stepped into the room.

"Go away.”

The beeping of the monitors and sounds of the machines caring for Aric muffled the sound of my entry into the room, so I didn’t respond right away. I took the opportunity to look him over, His head was turned away from the door; if his eyes were open he was staring at the wall. Every taunt line of his injured body screamed his misery, shoulders slumped and hands clenched on the sheets.  
“Care to explain?”

“No,” Aric answered, sighing. “Just go away, K’eegan.”

“Can’t,” I said, “I promised my sister.” Crossing my arms over my chest stubbornly, I glared at him, “I’ve got all day, explain what the hell happened while I was gone.”

“Just leave it alone,” he said, without looking at me.

“I can’t,” I explained. “Not when K’agan,” he flinched at the mention of my twin. “Not when she was so upset.” Stepping further into the room, I grabbed a chair and moved closer to the bed. Sitting down, I rested my forearms on the edge of the matters and tried, “We’re friends, talk to me Aric.”

Without saying another word, I waited for an answer from him, but Aric continued to stubbornly stare at the wall. Finally shaking his head, he tried one last time, "Just leave it alone."

"No." I could be just as stubborn as he was. I had nowhere to go and nothing better to do. I’d wait as long as it took.

The silence in the room was broken by the beeping of the machines but nothing more. It was deafening and weighed on the air like a cold, heavy sheet lying on my shoulders. As it dragged on, I began to wonder if he'd take me up on the challenge and stay silent, but he finally broke.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, but still didn't look at me.

"The truth," I demanded, "What the hell happened?"

"I told her the truth," he said, "K'agan isn't…” His voice began to crack as his emotions got the better him of him, which he quickly tried to mask. Finally, he took a deep breath before finishing, "She isn't my life mate."

"Liar," I accused.

"She's not," he argued, but he refused to meet my gaze. 

"Aric, look at me and say that."

From my angle, I watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched as he worked on reining in his emotions. Shaking his head, he finally turned and looked at me with his pain-filled green eyes. "She's not my life mate," he half-heartedly tried one last time.

Now it was my turn to shake my head. Placing my hand on top of Aric's, I gave it a small squeeze. "Aric," I started, "It's obvious you love her as much as she loves you, maybe even more." Holding on to his hand, I tried my best to get through to him, "Even someone who was half blind and deaf couldn't miss it, so why are you doing this?"

Looking away, Aric glared up at the ceiling. "She deserves better than me," he whispered so softly I almost missed it.

"Well, we agree on one thing," I teased, doing my best to lighten the mood, “But my twin sees something special in you," I continued, "She picked you and neither of us can change that now."

"We can't, but maybe she can."

"It doesn't work that way," I said. "And you know it." Rubbing a finger over the back of his hand, I continued, "For some reason I can't fathom," I grinned at him again, this time he shook his head at my words. "She loves you and there is no changing that. Mates are for life."

“She deserves better than a broken... ” he trailed off. After a moment, he finished, “She deserves better than me. If we break it off now, before we commit, then maybe she can find someone worthy of her.”

“You’re not committed to her now?” I asked, making him cringe. “Could you find someone else?”  
“  
This isn’t about me.”

“If you let her go, and she does find someone else,” I said, “Could you handle it?”

He unconsciously growled at the thought of K’agan with someone new and frowned but didn’t say anything, though he didn’t need too. His actions spoke louder than words.

I grinned. Exactly as I thought!

“If you can’t stand the thought, which is pretty obvious by the way,” I told him, “Why are you doing this?”

“Not about how I feel,” he ground out, managing to avoid the wires connected to his body and crossing his arms across his chest.

“Then what is this really about, Aric?” I asked, getting frustrated with the run around. Matching his pose, I crossed my arms. “Explain it to me.”

“K’agan needs more than a broken... ” he paused again, but this time he finished the thought, “A broken man.”

“You’re not broken,” I argued. “Dinged and bruised, but you’ll heal.”

“I’m more than bruised, K’eegan!” he said, anger coloring his tone. “I can’t feel my legs! I can’t even get out of this bed!”

“So? That doesn’t matter,” I drawled, not understanding. “You’re alive and here, that’s what matters to my sister.”

“It matters to me!” he growled, “Frack K’eegan!” Looking away from my puzzled expression and glared at the ceiling. Sighing, 

Aric tried to explain, “If I can’t walk, how can I keep up? How can I have K’agan’s back and take care of her?”

“What?!” I demanded, incredulous. “This is about work? Running missions?”

“Since Ord Mantell and her promotion, I’ve always had K’agan’s back; been there, supported her,” he explained. “It’s how we met, it’s what we do, and it’s who we are. What’s left without it?”

“Bantha fodder!”  
T  
he beat on the monitors quickened and Aric’s head snapped back and he glared at me. “What?” he hissed.

Meeting his eyes, I said, “If you think the only reason my sister loves you is because you had her back on missions, you’re a bigger idiot than I thought!”

“Frack K’eegan,” snarled Aric, his anger almost palatable.

Not rising to the bait, I kept my cool and explained, “Aric, think about it.” I started. “There are at least four other people on board the Thunderclap you trust to have her back, correct?”

“Yeah,” he reluctantly agreed, trying to figure out where I was taking this. “I wonder about Vik, but he’s loyal to K’agan.”

“If there are others you trust, then why do you need to be the boots on the ground?”

“I,” he started but stopped, thinking about what I said. Finally he admitted, “I’m not sure, because I love protecting her.”

“And I’m sure she loves having you there,” I told him. “But there are other ways to help and have her back.”

Saying nothing, Aic watched and waited for me to elaborate.

“Aric, you’re her executive officer for a reason,” I said. “K’agan could still use your assistance planning ops; you’ve forgotten more about military tactics than most people will ever know. Your back and legs may be damaged, not your brain.”

“True,” he allowed, clearly thinking on what I was saying.

“Not to mention, who makes sure the mission reports are done and turned in?” I asked with a smile. “We both know my sister would never get them done otherwise.”

“True,” Aric said, one corner of his mouth turned up in a small smile.

“Who takes care of squad conditioning? Who runs the drills? Who reorders supplies? Who makes sure the weapons are functioning correctly?” I said, giving him a moment for all of that to sink in.

“I do.”

“Would you trust any of the others with your duties?” Sitting forward in the chair, I continued, making us both smile, “Gods, love her, but Elara would bury my sister in paperwork. Vik can barely keep himself out of trouble, let alone K’agan. No one listens to a droid, so Fourex is out. And Yuun, no one would be able to figure out what the bug was trying to say.” 

“All true,” Aric admitted, leaning back against his pillow. “I can still do most of the stuff you mentioned.”

“Most?”

“The conditioning and drills may be difficult.”

“Are you telling me you won’t find a way to keep working out?” I asked in disbelief. “Please, even I don’t believe that!”

With a small smirk, he agreed, “You’re probably right.”

“I know I am,” I declared. “You won’t let this slow you down for long.”

“Maybe,” he said, still not sure. “But K’agan…”

“But nothing Aric,” I declared, “She loves you, you nerf herder!”

Trying a different tactic, I folded my hands together and stared at him earnestly, “Aric, if the roles were reversed and K’agan was paralyzed, would it matter to you?”  
“  
No! Never!” he said, without hesitation. “I’d love her anyway.”

“Exactly,” I grinned smugly and leaned back in the chair, “And she feels the exact same way about you.”

“I know,” he relented, sinking back into the pillows. This morning had been long and rough on Aric and it was just beginning.

“Aric, just think about it,” I urged. “There is a lot more to running a unit than boots on the ground. Plus,” I added as something else came to mind. “That’s if you choose to stay in the military.”  
“  
Or if they’d let me,” Aric mused quietly.

“They’ll let you,” I waved that off. Garza would find a way to keep her hooks in both of them, if that’s what they wanted. I wasn’t worried about that. “Honestly, neither of you need to work.”

“Explain.”

“Our family has more money than any of us could spend in three lifetimes,” I explained. I wasn’t boasting, just stating fact. “Our parents could have kept us home, safe. Instead they encouraged us all to find careers or jobs that fulfilled us, that made a difference in this universe. None of us needed to do anything, but K’agan joined the military, K’addes became a Jedi, K’ye runs the family business, but does a lot of charity work on the side. Stars, even I became a starship captain so I could take needed supplies and medications places they’d do the most good!”

“I know,” he said, glancing at me. “But what does that have to do with me?”

Giving him a small smile, I told him. “You’re K’agan’s mate and my brother-in-law in all the ways that matter. We take care of family.”

He was silent for a long moment, studying me, possibly looking for any sign of insincerity, “Thanks K’eegan,” closing his eyes and relaxing.

“You’re welcome,” I said, gently laying a hand on his arm and smiling. “Now rest. I’m sure they’ll be in here shortly to take you down for more tests.”

“Joy,” Aric replied without opening his eyes.

“Better you than me,” I said, sitting back and trying to get comfortable in the chair. “I hate being poked and prodded like a lab experiment.”

Aric didn’t offer a response and a few minutes later I heard a soft snore. Letting him rest, I sat back in the chair and pulled a small datapad from a hidden pocket on my jacket. The day promised to be long and trying, and the injured trooper needed all the strength and support he could find……

**TBC**

Thanks! As always comments, reviews and reblogs are greatly appreciated!!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey all! Thanks for reading and I hope you're still enjoying it! Thanks again to Jediserenity82 for having the patience to beta for me!

K’agan POV

I was barely holding it together, my emotions were tearing me apart. I was embarrassed, hurt and… angry. I never would have dreamed that Aric would deny me. It had been the furthest thing from my mind, but he had and now I had to deal with the consequences. I hurt. My heart literally felt like it was breaking in my chest. Ignoring my surroundings, I nearly ran out of the front doors of the medical center. My speeder was parked exactly where I left it. Jumping on, I fired it up, revved the engine and expertly took off into traffic.

I loved flying, the feeling of freedom, the wind whipping by me and the speed. I’ll freely admit I enjoyed going fast… really, really fast. It was freeing and exactly what I needed right now, freedom from my pain. I pushed the bike harder, fleeing the demons chasing me. I dipped and dived through traffic, easily making my way through the congested airways. All too soon our building came into view and I was forced to slow down and land on our private landing pad. Shutting down the engine, I climbed off the bike. 

The moment my foot hit the tarmac, I could feel my emotions overwhelm me, my eyes filling with tears. Keeping my head down, I started towards the door of the apartment. With each step I took, the tears fell and I moved faster, first walking, then jogging and finally running across the space. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. I just wanted to get to my room in peace.

“Welcome home,” P6 greeted me in the living room.

“P6,” I acknowledged the droid as I passed, but I kept my head down and didn’t say anything else.

“I wasn’t expecting you back so soon,” the droid said, following me, “Is there anything I can get you?”

“No,” I choked out; tears streaking down my face, “I’ll be in my room.”

Making it to the bedroom, I walked in and shut the door behind me, locking it. I didn’t want anyone to bother me, nosy siblings in particular. Right now, I didn’t want sympathy or pity. I just wanted to wallow in my misery alone.

Stripping, I pulled on an old grey tank top and grey shorts, before collapsing on to the bed. Lying on my side, I grabbed the spare pillow, curled around it, and allowed myself to fall apart. Great heaving sobs wracked my body, and tears soaked the pillows, as I gave in to my pain. I didn’t understand…

What had I done? Why had he rejected me? Why would he do that? How could he hurt me like this?

I’d never felt a pain like this. It felt like someone took a dull knife and carved my heart out of my chest, shattering it into a million tiny pieces. Each time I thought about it, the knife stabbed me in the chest and the process started all over again. I’d never be whole again… not without Aric.

“Why?” I cried into my pillow.

None of this made any sense. I knew he loved me as much as I loved him. Or at least I’d thought so. Was I wrong? Was it all just a game to him? How could he do this?? I’d given him my heart and he threw it back at me… unwanted. Why? Burying my face in my pillows, I cried until I felt numb.

An unknown amount of time later, I finally rolled to my beck and stared at the ceiling for a few long minutes, trying to collect my thoughts. Taking a deep breath, I released it slowly. Nothing helped. Glancing toward the far wall, my eyes landed on my easel and the unfinished canvas sitting on it. Lately, nothing could inspire me to finish it. It was like I was missing something, some piece of understanding. Until I figured out what it was, the painting would remain incomplete.

Tilting my head, I looked at the picture again. Realization dawned, and suddenly I knew what the canvas was missing. Pulling myself out of bed, I walked across the room and stood in front of the easel, studying it. Inspiration hit and the last piece of the puzzle clicked into place. Grabbing a palette, I poured some fresh colors on to it and picked up a brush. Dipping it into my wet paint, I got to work, dabbing a color here and swiping it there. Time drifted away as I worked.  
Hours later, I stood back and studied the finished product. It was perfect, capturing the essence of the moment I was trying to capture. Satisfied, I picked up the finished piece, and leaned it against a wall to to finish drying. Grabbing a blank canvas, I placed it on the easel and got back to work. As another image drifted across my mind, I knew exactly what I wanted to paint. This time, it would take a darker, more ominous tone. Picking up a brush, I started painting, and allowed the outside world and my problems slip away.

Painting had always been my escape from the pressures of everyday life. When things finally got to be too much, I could head into my room, lock the door and forget about my concerns for a few hours. And right now, at this moment, that was what I needed… to forget… everything.

 

I jumped a few hours later when my personal holo rang. Ironically, the timing was perfect, I could use a break. Wiping off my hands on a nearby rag, I picked up the small machine and keyed it up, not really surprised to see an image of my agent flickered into being.

“K’agan!”

“Nalan,” I greeted her. “How’ve you been doing?”

Nalan Ven, a beautiful blue skinned, purple eyed Twi’lek, was my representative and agent, selling my paintings across the galaxy but mostly at her gallery on Nar Shaada. I painted under a pseudonym. She dealt with everything, allowing me to maintain my anonymity. The last thing I needed or wanted was more public scrutiny.

“I’ve been wonderful,” she gushed in her usual way, “Your paintings are in high demand and keeping me busy.”

“Speaking of my paintings, I just finished up two more. They should be ready to pick up in a day or two.”

“Wonderful!” she smiled and clapped her hands, “I’ll have the usual courier pick them up.”

“They’re here on Coruscant, at my parent’s place.”

“I’ll let them know,” she said, with small smile. “Does that mean you’re on planet?”

“Maybe,” I said cautiously, not wanting to commit to anything. “Why do you want to know?”

“I’m getting together for drinks with a group of friends and clients. I wondered if you’d like to join us?” she asked.

Closing my eyes, I took deep breath and blew it out slowly. While a part of me just wanted to hide in this room for the rest of my life, the idea of going out appealed to a larger part. I liked the thought of getting drunk and forgetting this had ever happened. “I don’t know… ”

Sensing my hesitation, she said, “Come on K’agan! It will be fun! I promise!”

“I just… ” I started again, shaking my head.

“I’ll send my car around in an hour,” Nalan said with a grin, leaving me no choice. “Wear something sexy. We’re going to a new club, Innuendo.”

Shaking my head again, I gave in and put away my paint brush. “I’ll be ready.”

“I’ll see you soon,” Nalan said with a smile, ending the call and not giving me a chance to change my mind.

Grabbing my paint brushes, I quickly rinsed them out. I spent a few minutes cleaning up and putting my supplies away. I made sure the brushes were clean and the caps on my paints were secure. I wanted everything ready for the next time I wanted to paint. Nothing was worse than having a great idea, wanting to paint it and finding you couldn’t because your paints had dried out.

“Mistress,” P6 called and knocked at my door.

“Come in P6.”  
The door opened and the family droid tottered in, carrying a tray of food and a glass of what looked like blue milk.

“You haven’t eaten all day Miss K’agan,” the droid said, setting the tray down on my desk. “You must be hungry.”

“Thanks P6,” I said, the smell of the minced nerf stew drifting over and making my stomach rumble with hunger. Picking up my spoon, I took a bite. The flavor exploded across my tongue and taste buds and I savored the moment, enjoying it.

“A driver should be here in just under an hour to pick me up,” I told the droid, as I ate my food. “Can you let them up?”

“Yes Mistress,” the bot answered, “Will there be anything else?”

“No,” I said, picking up a slice of bread. “I can’t think of anything right now.”

“I will pick up the tray later,” the droid said, walking out the door and shutting it behind him.

Sitting down in my desk chair, I ate, dipping the bread into the heavenly stew. Before I knew it, my spoon scraped the bottom of the bowl. I put the empty bowl back on the tray, took a sip of milk and picked up the slice of my favorite cake P6 had included. I quickly polished it off and picked up my drink. Standing, I walked into my bathroom. Leaving the now empty glass on the counter, I stripped off my paint smeared clothes climbed into the shower. I scrubbed off the stray dabs of color from my fur and cleaned my hair, leaving it in rows on top of my head.

Turning off the water, I stepped out and grabbed a towel, drying off. I wrapped the damp towel around my body and stepped into my closet, looking for something to wear tonight. Nalan had said we were going to a new club and to wear something ‘sexy.’ It had been so long since I’d worn anything other than a uniform or armor, I wasn’t sure I was a good judge of clothing. Digging through my outfits, I found a beautiful ultramarine blue dress I’d never worn, hidden toward the back. I slipped it on and zipped it up. It fit perfectly. The dress was off my shoulders and dipped in a small V exposing just a bit of my cleavage. It hugged my body just right without being to constricting. Just below my waist, the skirt flared out, coming down mid-thigh. It made me feel sexy and desirable, two things I desperately needed after the day I had.

I grabbed a pair of blue spike heels from my closet, before stepping back into my bedroom. Picking up an eyeliner pencil from the top of my dresser, I carefully put some on, highlighting my eyes. To complete the look, I selected a pair of teardrop earrings and matching necklace. I almost didn’t recognize myself in the mirror; it had been too long since I dressed up or done something nice for myself. I looked hot…

With one hand, I steadied myself against the dresser and with the other, I slipped on my shoes. The spikes gave me a couple of more much needed inches. I grabbed a matching purse, making sure I had my wallet, identification, and enough credits for the night. Lastly, I added a small hold out blaster and snapped it shut. Better safe than sorry. Who knew what could happen.

“Miss K’agan,” P6 called, “The driver is here for you.”

“I’m coming,” I replied, giving myself one last glance in the mirror. I brushed some imaginary lint off my dress and took a deep breath, trying to summon my courage. I needed this… a chance to party, drink and have fun. I could forget my pain… forget Aric… for one night. Letting it out slowly, I headed for the door, ready for whatever the wild night might bring…

**TBC…..Definitely more to come…**

_**As always reblogs, comments and reviews are greatly appreciated.** _


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'd like to thank everyone for sticking with me through this. It's definitely taking me longer to write it than I planned on, so thank you for your patience with me.
> 
> This chapter just seemed to come together. It didn't end exactly where I thought it would be it's definitely progress. Hope you enjoy it!

Flirting with Desire

_K'agan's POV_

"K'agan," I heard someone shout as I stepped out of the car.

"Nalan," I greeted the other lady with a warm smile. The Twi'lek looked gorgeous tonight. Of course, when wasn't she? She was wearing a stunning long, white, sleeveless sheath dress. The V-neck line dipped dangerously low between her breasts, and the bottom of the dress was slit up the side, nearly to her hip. She had on a matching gold tiara and belt. High heels finished off the outfit.

"I wasn't sure you'd really come," the Twi'lek said, hugging me gently in greeting.

"I almost didn't," I admitted, "Nearly told the driver to turn around more than once."

It had seemed like a good idea when Nalan holo'd me earlier. I could get out of the apartment, dress up, hang out with friends, have a few drinks (or a lot of drinks) and forget about my pain and troubles for a time. Just forget about it all — the Republic, Havoc Squad, my responsibilities and my family... everything. Just pretend it all didn't matter. Most of all, it would give me a chance to forget about Aric; what he'd said and more importantly what he hadn't said to me.

Not your mate…

The words still echoed in my head, bouncing around and ripping me apart slowly and painfully. None of it mattered… nothing did. If my mate denied me, what did I have left in life? Duty? Honor? Sacrifice? I barely stopped myself from laughing at that. It seemed I'd already given the most important thing in my life to the cause… my love. I'd lost Aric. He was gone… and he'd been the most important thing in my life…

"K'agan?" Nalan asked, her voice laced with concern. She held on to my upper arms and looked into my eyes, searching for an answer as to what was going on. "What's wrong?"

Taking a deep breath, I swallowed my tears, before answering. I would not cry… not here… not now… not anymore. "Nothing," I said. At her doubtful look, I added, "I don't want to talk about it. I just want to forget for a few hours."

Nalan gave me a sad, almost knowing look, her lekku drooping. Finally, she plastered on a smile and said, "We can do that." Threading her arm through mine, she held on to my hand and patted it, while she added, "Come on, I've got lots of people for you to meet."

"Nalan," I said, gently trying to pull away from her hold. "I don't think…"

"But I do," she interrupted me as she kept walking toward the front door of the club. "You need this. This evening is for you. Tomorrow, after you have some distance, you can get back to dealing with life's problems."

"For me," I echoed her sentiment with a small smile.

"Yes," Nalan agreed, smiling at me radiantly. As we approached the well-dressed guards, they lowered the velvet barrier without a word and allowing us to pass. I heard a few shouted protests from the queue of people waiting to get in, but they were ignored. The large glass doors slid open silently and we walked inside.

The club was stunning. The far wall was completely glass, giving a breath taking view of the Coruscant skyline at night. The lights of the surrounding buildings, traffic, and stars above created a beautiful tableau. A large, black marble dance floor dominated the center of the large room. A large number of dancers dotted the floor, but it was nowhere near crowded. A huge crystal chandelier hung above the floor. Lights hit the crystals and danced around the area. The walls were painted a soft grey, and a few pieces of artwork were displayed on the walls. Bars were situated strategically around the space. Tables, chairs and large red booths were arranged for the discrete privacy of their patrons. Nalan was heading for a group in the far corner… under one of my paintings, of course.

"Nalan," I sighed loudly, but she chose to ignore me.

"Now," she said, smiling radiantly. "I have some people I'd like you to meet."

"Of course you do," I groaned in protest. I hated meeting people in these types of social situations, which was why I hired her to be my agent. If they didn't recognize my family name, they knew me from the news stories on the holo-vids. I rarely got a moments peace. At least I painted under a pseudonym. I couldn't imagine what it would be like if they realized I was an artist too.

"K'agan," she said, trying to reassure me. "I haven't really given them much information about you, only that you're a good friend and you're on planet for business." Stopping, she turned to look at me before continuing. "I'd never out you to strangers. You're my friend and client. Plus, we've worked too hard maintaining your anonymity." She smiled and finished, "Plus it adds to the mystique of your work driving up prices."

It felt wonderful to laugh at the pronouncement. Leave it to a Twi'lek saleswoman to think of the bottom line. "Thank you, Nalan," I said after the laughter subsided.

"You're welcome." She turned and started walking toward our table. She held on to my arm and gave me no chance to escape the inevitable. "Now come on, I promise you'll have fun."

"I better," I teased, letting the smaller woman pull me along.

"You better what?" asked a smooth, deep voice. He was sitting at the table, his back towards us. All I could make out of him was a head of short spiky brown hair in a faux hawk.

"Have fun," I answered with a small smile.

"I can make sure of that," the human male said, standing up and turning toward us.

He was my height, maybe an inch or two taller with a slim build. He had golden brown eyes, a small implant around his left eye and his lips were quirked in a small smile. He was wearing a tight royal blue collarless shirt, black jacket, black pants tucked into knee high black boots.

"Theron Shan," Nalan said, motioning to the man. "My friend K'agan."

"A pleasure to meet you," I greeted him with a small smile and offered my hand.

"A chance to meet such a beautiful woman," Theron charmingly replied, "the pleasure is all mine." Taking my hand, he turned it over and leaning in, he placed a small kiss on the back.

"Flatterer," I accused him, but I was unable to stop the blush from coloring the tips of my ears, giving me away.

"Only when it's true," Theron returned, his gaze locking with mine.

We stood staring at one another for a few long moments. An electrical current seemed to be sparking between us, connecting us on a level we couldn't see but we could sense. It seemed to pulse up my arm from the hand he was still holding, filling something inside of me. The moment was finally shattered when Nalan took my hand from him.

"Shall we let the others meet her?" Nalan asked, shaking her head at us.

"If I must," Theron agreed reluctantly, releasing his hold on me.

"You must," Nalan told him with a nod. Trying to turn away with her arm still threaded through mine, she started introducing me to everyone else in the group, "Daltre," she added stepping towards a human couple, "Tait, I'd love you to meet me dear friend K'agan."

'I'll be back,' I mouthed at Theron, smiling at him as I allowed Nalan to introduce me to everyone.

I made my way around the group with Nalan, shaking hands and exchanging names. I was pleased; no one seemed to recognize me or my name. Lucky for me, when I finished, there was an empty chair next to Theron. Dropping into it I said, "I'm back."

"Welcome back," he smiled at me.

"Thanks," I replied. "That's always exhausting."

"Tell me about it," he agreed, flagging down a passing human waitress. She was wearing a low cut pink top, short black skirt and tall black boots.

"How can I help you sir," she asked, leaning in and giving Theron a free show of her plentiful breasts.

To his credit he, didn't turn his gave from me, instead flashing me a saucy grin as he ordered, "I'd like a Tarisian Ale and you?"

"A Corellian Red Wine please," I said, watching the woman as she again tried to capture my table mate's attention.

She gave me a quick look of disgust, but didn't say anything. Instead, she gave Theron another look of longing before leaving to presumably fill our order.

"She liked you," I commented, once the human was out of ear shot.

"Who doesn't?"

"Confident much?" I laughed.

"Only when it's warranted."

"Which is?" I asked, curious as what he'd say.

"All of the time," Theron said, sitting back in his chair with a grin.

I just shook my head and laughed at him. I couldn't tell whether he was serious or not, but it didn't really. He was distracting me from my own issues and gods, it felt good to laugh again.

Theron opened his mouth to say something, but our server returned with our drinks. After she sat them on the table in front of us, he handed her a couple of credit chips. "Thanks and keep the change," he told her before turning his attention back to me.

I smiled when she pocketed the chips and walked away in a huff, without ever saying a word.

"Now," he said, picking up his drink and taking swallow of his ale, "has anyone told you how your eyes light up when you laugh?"

"Not lately," I said, taking a sip of my wine. "But it's nice to hear."

"They do," he reassured me, "the light fills them up, turning them the prettiest shade of blue."

I could feel the tips of my ears turning pink again and Theron smiled knowingly, but didn't comment on it. I took another drink of my wine, before I changed the subject. "How do you know Nalan?"

"Work," Theron answered, but didn't elaborate. "You?"

Choosing to ignore his evasive tactic... for now, I answered, "She's a family friend." It was true, even if it wasn't the full answer.

Leaning back in his chair, he quirked an eyebrow at me and asked, "Taking a page out of my book, Major?"

"What?" I sputtered, sitting up sharply in my chair and nearly spilling my drink. "I don't know what…" I trailed off.

He laid a hand on my thigh, seemingly to keep me from jumping from the chair. "Don't worry," he said, "Your secret's safe with me."

"It's not a secret really," I sighed, "Nalan knows who I am. I just don't want to deal with all of that tonight."

"Understood," Theron said, removing his hand and sitting back in his seat. "My lips are sealed."

"Thank you," I replied, drinking the last of the wine. I managed to get our waitress's attention and motioned to the empty glass. She nodded her understanding and started for the bar. "Since you know my secret," I said, making him sit up straighter, "It seems only fair I know yours."

"What… I," it was his turn to sputter. "No idea…"

"Are your related to the Grand Master Satele Shan?"

"What makes you think that?" he scowled. "Shan is a pretty common name."

"True," I allowed, as the waitress returned with my refill and ale for Theron. She sat them down on the table and left without a word. "But I've met the Grand Master and you look like her."

Picking up his drink, Theron swallowed what was left in the first, before answering, "She's my mother, but like you I don't want to talk about it."

"Noted and I won't dig," I replied, sipping my second wine. "But there is something else familiar about you. I just can't put my finger on it."

Theron shook his head and chuckled softly. "Not many people know and even fewer see the resemblance," he started. "And for safety reasons we'd like to keep it that way, but I think you can be trusted. Jace Malcom is my father."

"That's it!" I said, pleased that I'd seen the resemblance. "I've met your father too... he's a good guy."

"He is," Theron agreed, smiling. "I don't get to see him as much as I'd like. We lead busy lives."

"I'm sure," I said. "I don't get to see my family as much as I'd like."

"And what do your parents think of your choice in careers?" Theron asked in an obvious attempt to change the subject.

"My mother isn't thrilled," I admitted to him, taking another sip of wine. "But my parents always encouraged us to chase our dreams and find a career that fulfilled us."

"They sound like great parents."

"They are," I agreed.

"There's that shine in your eyes again," Theron teased, moving closer to me in his chair. "If they make you that happy… tell me about them?"

"You asked for it," I teased him with a grin. "So, I grew up on Coruscant…"

Time became meaningless as I shared details about my life. We laughed... we talked, we drank and we laughed some more. We had fun and I forgot — just for a few blissful moments — I forgot all of the problems weighing on me. I enjoyed connecting with someone. It was wonderful and after the last few weeks that I'd had, I refused to feel any guilt about it. Choices were made that were outside my control, now he had to live with those consequences.

"This has been fun," Theron said, an unknown amount of time later.

Looking around, I realized most of the people I'd been introduced to earlier were gone. Nalan sat a short distance away with two or three other people. "It has," I answered him honestly.

"I don't want it to end," Theron commented. Suddenly standing up, he offered me his hand and asked, "Dance with me?"

Talking was one thing, dancing was something else. My confidence seemed to wane. "I don't know if... " I started, but he cut me off.

"Just one dance," he promised, offering his hand again.

"Theron," I sighed, shaking my head. "I…"

"Please," he interrupted me, giving me sad, puppy dog eyes.

"Just one," I finally relented. Taking his hand, I let him help me stand up.

He held on to my hand and led me toward the large dark, marble floor in the center of the large room. As I followed behind him, I appreciated the way the dark fabric of his pants framed his butt perfectly. Taking deep breath, I tried to rein in my rampaging hormones and chased those thoughts from my head. I had a man… whether he knew it right now or not! But damn! Theron was fine! And I could look… just not touch. I was mated, not dead!

Like the rest of the nightclub, the dance floor was busy but not packed with couples. Groupings of couples dotted the floor, but each had plenty of room to move around. Rocking my head to the beat, I thanked my lucky stars it was a fast song. I could put some space between us. Just as we were about to start dancing, the song ended.

"This next one is for all the couple out there," the DJ said over the speakers. "And K'agan, Nalan says this one is for you! Have fun!"

Glancing back in the direction of our table, I scowled at my friend. She was standing at the edge of the group, laughing and waving jauntily at me.

"I'll get you back," I promised her, as a slow, romantic song started to play.

She shrugged and motioned toward a dance partner. Turning, I found Theron watching me.

"Is dancing with me so bad?"

Damn Nalan.

"No, not at all," I rushed to reassure him. "I just don't want to disappoint you."

"Just follow my lead," he said, not understanding why I was worried.

"Okay," I said, offering him a small smile. How bad could this be, I tried to reassure myself. It wasn't working. The closer Theron got, the faster my heart beat.

"Relax," he chided, as he carefully wrapped his arms around me and we slowly started to move to the beat of the music. "I don't bite," he added with a grin, "… much."

"Ha, ha," I replied, as I let him lead me around the floor, but softened it with a small smile.

After a few moments, the other dancers seemed to disappear and it was just Theron and I, moving around the floor. He really was a wonderful dancer, easily moving around other dancers, making it seem easy. I gave all control, closed my eyes and lost myself in the music and Theron.

When he sensed the change in my demeanor, I felt Theron's heart raise through his thin shirt. He was only slightly taller than me, so we were pressed together from our chest to our thighs. Theron had one arm wrapped around me, while he held the other hand tightly in his. The heat of our bodies seemed to seep through our clothes, feeding the growing fire between us.

Reaching out, he gently touched my face with his fingertips and cupped my cheek in his hand. Our eyes locked and he whispered, "See? Not so bad, right?"

"No, it's not," I whispered. Throwing caution to the wind, I fell into his fiery gaze. At this moment, there was nothing else, no one, no problems and no galaxy waiting for me to save it. It was just us and the music.

"K'agan," he started, "I... " he trailed off. Instead he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. For just a moment, I thought about resisting… for just a moment, before I was returning the tender kiss….

**TBC**

**_A/N: **Runs and Hides from irate readers** Mahahaha! That was fun! I hoped you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it!_ **


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's been a long time since I last updated and I apologize for that. Lost my motivation for a while but hopefully I'm slowly getting it back. I'd like to thank jediserenity82 for beta'ing this for me. She did great work as always! Hope you enjoy! And as always reviews, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

_Previously:_

_"K'agan," he started, "I... " he trailed off. Instead he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. For just a moment, I thought about resisting… for just a moment, before I was returning the tender kiss…._

**Chapter 27**

_K'agan's POV_

Forgetting my problems, I tossed myself head first into the heat and flames of desire. I fully gave myself over to this moment and this man, shutting out the world. Nothing else existed but this moment and Theron. It didn't matter—nothing did.

My senses were quickly overwhelmed by all things Theron. It was the heady scent of leather and musk that was uniquely him, the taste of peppermint on the tip of his tongue and the feel of his hard muscles contrasted sharply against the softness of his lips.

I felt his tongue tentatively and tenderly pressing against my lips, seeking admittance, which I quickly granted. Our tongues shyly touched and caressed each other. I couldn't stop the soft moan of pleasure when Theron deepened the kiss. Leaning into him, we enjoyed each other and this moment, trying to drag it out forever.

Much too soon for me, Theron broke the kiss, gently nipping my lower lip before resting his forehead against mine. "That was," he panted, trying to catch his breath. Unable to find the right word, he just shook his head.

"I know," I said, out of breath too. Reaching up with one hand, I cupped his cheek. "I felt it too."

Without saying another word, Theron grinned and happily kissed me again. Running a hand over my hip, he quickly picked up where we'd left off.

"Theron," I mumbled, tangling my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and returning the kiss. That was, different. It had been awhile since I could run my hands through a man's hair. Aric's head was covered with fur, but not hair. Aric—oh god.

What was I doing? For a moment, I'd been able to lose myself in the arms of the man holding me, until thoughts of Aric flooded my mind. He was my mate. But he'd rejected me, sent me away. He hadn't wanted me and broke my heart. The words still cut into my very soul. But now, here I was enjoying a moment with another man?! Just mere hours later?! What in all the hells of Corellia was I thinking? I wasn't, and that stopped now before someone else got hurt.

"Theron," I breathlessly said. Breaking the kiss, I trailed off, "Theron, I can't."

"What?" he asked surprised at the sudden change. "Is something wrong?"

Refusing to look up, I buried my face in his chest. "It's just… I can't," Shaking my head, I finally managed to look up and meet his questioning gaze. "And I don't want to hurt you."

"You haven't yet," he whispered, kissing the top of my head, "Come on, sit down and explain this to me."

Holding my hand, he led me off the dance floor and towards our table. A few more from our group had drifted away and Nalan was adamantly talking to a couple at another table just a short distance away. We should have some privacy. Theron pulled out my chair for me and I sat down, nodding at him in thanks. He moved to his seat and sat down. I took a sip of my drink and waited for him to start this conversation. No way was I going first. I wasn't even sure if I was ready to talk about it.

"Okay, what's going on?" Theron said, resting his elbows on the table. "It seemed like we had a spark and I know you felt it too."

Taking a deep breath, I steadied myself before I admitted, "I did."

"Then?" Theron questioned, flagging down a waitress, "Seems like that should be a good thing."

Taking another sip from my glass, I let my mind wander, trying to puzzle things out. How did I tell him this? Where did I start?

"How about at the beginning?" Theron questioned with a small smile on his face.

"What?" I asked, startled out of my thoughts.

"Why not start at the beginning?"

"What? How?" I sputtered, nearly spitting out my drink.

Grinning Theron explained, "It's written all over your face."

"Sorry about that," I said, chagrined, "It's been a rough few weeks."

"I can imagine. We are in the middle of a war whether the general populace knows it or not," Theron said, waving to the crowds around us.

"True," I admitted before taking the plunge and asking, "How much do you know of Havoc's last mission?" I hoped he was at least aware of our last mission, even if he didn't know the details. I really didn't want to think about it, let alone relive the horror of Aric's injuries.

"To the Gauntlet?" he asked. "Are you okay?" his hand gently covering mine and his thumb tracing small circles on the back it.

"I'm fine," I was whispered, though I wasn't so sure. The tears were close now, "And the injury to my crewman?"

"A Lieutenant Jorgan right?"

"Captain now but yes, Aric Jorgan," I confirmed, "he's my XO."

Studying me for quiet moments, Theron seemed to reach a conclusion. "And what else is he?"

"What?" I stuttered, shaking my head, trailing off, "I don't…"

Raising an eyebrow, Theron didn't need to say a word.

"My life mate," I nearly whispered, a few tears slipping down my cheeks, "he was critically injured during the mission."

"K'agan, I," he started but I cut him off. I needed to finish or I'd never be able too.

"I nearly lost him on that mission," I said, my voice cracking with emotion. "I hadn't even realized what he meant to me until I he was laying in the sickbay and he flat lined. I was sure it was too late, that I'd lost him before I even got a chance to tell him." Wiping at the tears streaking down my face, I finished in a rush, "And now it doesn't even matter."

"I don't understand," he admitted, eyes full of concern for me, "from what I know of Cathar culture finding your mate is a good thing right?"

"Yes."

"Then shouldn't we be celebrating?" Theron asked, his voice tinged with confusion, "I know from the reports Captain Jorgan survived the assault."

"Right," I whispered. My hands shaking I picked up my tumbler, finished off my drink, and sat the empty glass back on the table.

Gently covering my hand with his, Theron looked into my watery eyes and said, "What happened?"

"After they took him out of the kolto tank and he finally woke up, I told him he was my life mate."

"And?" he prompted, his thumb gently stroking the back of my hand in comfort.

With fresh tears streaking down my cheeks I answered, "He said I wasn't his life mate and he didn't feel the same way."

Without saying a word, Theron scooted his chair closer to mine, leaned forward and pulled me into a hug. As he wrapped his arms around me, sheltering me from view, I fell apart, my sobs wracking my body. I finally allowed myself to grieve for everything I'd lost; my co-worker, my best friend, my lover. Aric was all of them, and he was lost to me.

When my tears slowed and my sobs turned to small hiccups, realization dawned on me. This was why the military discouraged relationships between its members. Going forward, it would make working together difficult, if not impossible and threatened our very squad. If we couldn't put this behind us and learn to work together again, we'd have to go our separate ways, breaking up an effective military unit. The very thought of never even seeing Aric again caused a stab of pain deep in my heart.

"I'm so sorry K'agan," Theron whispered into my hair as he held me.

"Thanks," I mumbled, leaning into him and soaking up the comfort he offered me. "Everything's happened so fast. It's so out of my control. One minute I'm the leading Havoc on another successful mission, Aric by my side. The next minute he's paralyzed and I've lost everything that matters to me."

"Paralyzed?" I could hear the confusion in his tone.

"When he woke up, Aric was paralyzed from the waist down," I explained, still hiding my face in his shirt, "He's my mate and it didn't matter to me. I was just so relieved he was alive."

"Really?" This time disbelief colored his tone.

"Yes!" I replied a little defensively. Pulling myself from his hold, I met his eyes, "It doesn't matter! He's still the man I love."

"I know," Theron agreed, "But that's not it."

"What?" I asked, not understanding what he was trying to tell me.

"K'agan," he started to explain, shaking his head. "The poor guy was critically injured in a fire fight and stuck in kolto tank."

"Yes," I draw the word out with my disbelief, "And?"

"He was in a coma and wakes up to find he's paralyzed from the waist down."

"I know Theron," I said, starting to get irritated. I didn't need to be reminded about what happened to Aric, I had lived it.

"Then you spring the fact that you're his life mate on the poor guy," Theron continued, ignoring my outburst. "Hon, that's a lot for any guy to take in all at once, even at the best of times," he laid a gentle hand on top of mine, "And that was far from the best of times."

"What? I don't…." I started, not understanding. What was he trying to tell me? I glanced up sharply and met his eyes, a tear still trailing down my cheek.

"I'd put money on the fact that he didn't mean any of it," Theron clarified, a small smile pulling up one corner of his lips, "he was so overwhelmed by everything, all the changes happening at once that he pushed you away."

"You're saying he didn't mean it?" I asked, wiping away a tear with the back of my hand.

"Oh he meant it," Theron said and I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. Seeing the broken look on my face, he rushed on, "Or he thought he did but I'm sure by the time you were walking out the door he regretted that it was necessary. I know I would."

"Necessary?" I was confused again. Why would denying that I was his life mate be 'necessary?'

"His world had just been turned upside down."

"Mine had too."

"Yes," Theron aged, "but did you spend time in a kolto tank?"

"No."

"Were you paralyzed from the waist down?"

"No."

"That's a lot to take in all at once."

"I know."

"Everything was out of his control," Theron explained, "And you sprung the mate thing on him."

"I was only trying to reassure him that it changed nothing," I argued, "I still loved him."

"But it changed everything for him."

"Not me," I tried, "I was there. I didn't change."

"Yes you did," Theron disagreed, "Or at least to him you did."

"I don't understand."

"In that one moment I'm sure Aric was thinking he couldn't take care of you, be there for you and that he didn't deserve you," Theron said, "That you deserved better than him."

"That isn't true!"

"I didn't say it was."

"But you said," I started, but Theron stopped me.

"K'agan, I'm a guy, I know how I would have felt if all of that would've happened to me," Theron explained, "Just because he was thinking it or feeling at the time, doesn't make it true."

"So what do I do?" I asked, biting my lower lip to keep from crying.

"Does Aric matter to you?"

"Yes!" I answered without hesitation.

"Then fight for him!" Sitting up straight in his chair, Theron looked me in the eyes and insisted, "Don't give up on him. Fight for your relationship. Don't let him push you away when he needs you the most."

Shaking my head in shock, I covered my mouth with the palm of my hand. Theron was right! I'd let Aric push me away when he needed me the most. Whether or not we remained lovers, he was still my best friend and I should be there for him right now. Gods! Oh, what a mess we'd created!

"So you're going to fight for him?" Theron grinned at me, obviously reading my thoughts.

"Yes," I said, "I'm not giving up that easily. I just can't believe I didn't see it."

"You just needed someone to point it out," Theron answered, still smiling at me. "I'm glad I could be that person."

"I'm sorry to cut this short," I started as I looked around for the waitress to close out my tab so I could leave. All I could think about now was Aric and clearing the air between us.

"Go," Theron ordered me, while waving his arms for me to leave, "I'll take care of the tab, just get back to your man."

Standing up, I look towards the door. "If you're sure…"

"Positive," he reiterated, "Just go."

"Thank you Theron." I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm sorry this evening didn't turn out as you intended. I owe you one."

"You do," he agreed cheekily, "Do you have a sister at home?"

"Actually yes," I laughed, "an identical twin sister."

"Really?"

"Yes, but unfortunately for you she's involved with someone."

"Just my luck," Theron joked, "All the good ones are taken."

"I have an older brother who's single," I offered jokingly. "I could set you up."

"Is he as good looking as you?" he asked, seemingly considering the offer.

"No idea," I said, shaking my head, "He's my brother, I don't think of him that way but K'ye's got no shortage of admirers."

"If he's as good looking as you with a personality to match, I just may take you up on the offer," Theron mused with a smile.

Grabbing a napkin I scribbled down a number and handed it to him. "My holo number, call me and I'll set something up with K'ye."

"Will do," he agreed, "Now go." I started to say something more and he stopped me with a shooing gesture toward the door, "Go!"

Without another word, I turned and started for the door. It was late and Aric was probably asleep already but I couldn't stand being separated from him for a moment longer. We needed to fix this mess, the sooner the better. Even if I was forced to wait the rest of the night at his bedside for him to wake up, it would be better than going home alone.

I pushed open the night club door and stepped out into the cool night air on Coruscant. I motioned to the line of taxis and called out, "Taxi." A few seconds later the first vehicle in line started towards me. After it came to rest on the curb and a door popped open. Climbing in, I sat down on the seat and pulled the door closed behind me. As I secured my seat belt, I told the droid driver, "Republic Medcial please."

"As you wish," the droid replied and started toward our destination.

Sitting back into the plush seat, I tried to relax for the short drive. When I got there, Aric and I were going to talk. No way was I letting him push me away again.

**TBC**


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry to keep everyone waiting. I've been suffering from a severe case of writer's block and a serious lack of motivation. Hopefully, I'm getting past it and I've made it worth your wait. Enjoy!
> 
> I'd also like to thank JediSerenity82 for beta'ing this for me!

_Previously:_

_I told the droid driver, "Republic Medical please."_

_"As you wish," the droid replied and started toward our destination._

_Sitting back into the plush seat, I tried to relax for the short drive. When I got there, Aric and I were going to talk. No way was I letting him push me away again._

**Flirting with Desire**

**Chapter 29**

_Aric's POV_

"Go get some rest."

"I'm fine sir."

"You're not," I disagreed, relaxing against the pillows behind me, "Go back to the ship and get some sleep." Cutting off her protest, I added, "I can make it an order if necessary."

I just needed some time alone, just a few moments to process everything that had happened to me. When the Imperials stormed the bridge on the Gauntlet, I knew that was the end. I wasn't going to make it off that bridge alive. Knowing I was going to die, I was determined to complete my mission, get the Intel, and possibly save other Republic soldiers' lives. I'd just finished when I felt the first blow hit me in the back. Everything went numb and seemed to happen in slow motion after that. The force of the shot spun me around; I was hit a second, and then a third. Somehow I managed to take down the cowards who ambushed me from behind. As the adrenaline left my body, my world started going dark around the edges; I couldn't remember much after that after that. The next thing I remembered was waking up here, in this bed. My legs were numb and then there was K'agan worried and frightened for me. Then…then she'd called me her life mate. And I'd fracked the whole thing up…

"You can't, sir," she smiled at me, her voice taking on an almost smug tone. "You are currently on medical leave. As such, you're currently not in my chain of command."

"Elara," I sighed tiredly. I really wasn't up to arguing policy with the former Imperial. She'd win anyway. "Please."

"I'll give you some time, sir."

I wasn't sure that was exactly what I asked for, but I'd take what I could get. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Elara replied as she stood up and stretched. Once she reached the door, hand grasping at the handle, she seemed to hesitate. She stood there for a few silent moments, before turning back around, "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"As you so aptly pointed out, I'm currently not in command," I smirked. I could see the look of annoyance spreading across her face as I added, "We're friends Elara, talk to me."

Seeming to take that as permission, she answered, "This mission has been hard on the Major."

"It hasn't exactly been easy for me," I said, a bite in my tone.

"It hasn't," Elara agreed, biting her lower lip before she finished, "But she saw you die sir."

"What?!" I breathed out. It felt like I'd been hit in the chest by another blaster bolt, driving all the air out of my lungs. K'agan saw me die?! What in all the hells had happened?

Elara's eyes filled with tears as she explained, "You were in bad shape. If not for Fourex, you wouldn't have made it back to the checkpoint."

I'd wondered about that. I'd have to thank the droid later.

Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and continued, "You lost a massive amount of blood before we could get you back aboard the Thunderclap. While we worked to stabilize you in the medical bay, the Major made sure we were clear of the Gauntlet before it blew."

I nodded. I wasn't surprised. K'agan was the consummate professional. She wouldn't let my injury stop her from doing her job and keeping our squad safe. As she's said in the past, she'd fall apart after everything was over and our team was safe.

"Your condition deteriorated before she could make it to the med bay, as she walked in, your heart stopped and you flat lined."

"Frack!" I closed my eyes and covered my face with both hands.

"While Yuun and I worked on saving you, the Captain watched us," Elara continued.

Oh gods, K'agan.

I could almost feel her eyes on me as she went on, "Three times... we tried three times and couldn't get your heart restarted."

My breath caught in the back of my throat. And my... mate, because that's what she was, saw it all. "K'agan," I choked out.

"We lost you, you were dead. I should have called your time of death," she admitted.

"Frack," I groaned. I lowered my hand as I glanced at Elara. I couldn't miss the heart broken look on her face or the few tears that escaped and were streaking down her cheeks

"It broke her."

I could feel my own heat shattering in my chest for K'agan. I had no idea what to say. I couldn't imagine how she felt, nor did I want to.

"I knew she was there, watching us. I had to try one last time," Elara admitted, "for her and only for her." She stood at the door quietly staring at me until she broke the moment with a small smile. "Imagine my surprise when it actually worked and your heart started beating again."

By all rights, I should be dead. Elara tried one last time, not because it was medically likely to work but because K'agan was watching. I'd had close calls in the past, but this was more than that. I should be dead. There was no way around it. That… I don't know… it was sobering and put a lot of things into perspective.

"Elara," I started but she interrupted me.

"Whether you ever walk again or not, that you're here, aware and talking with me is a miracle, sir," she stated empathetically. "Don't waste it arguing with someone who loves you beyond reason."

Opening the door, Elara walked out without waiting for me to respond.

And what could I say? She was right. Laying my head back against the mattress, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. After a time, I slipped into a restless slumber where even my dreams were filled with images of K'agan.

I was an idiot….

O~O~O~O

The first thing I became aware of as consciousness slowly trickled back into my brain was someone watching me, which shouldn't have been possible. I'd sent my minder back to the ship before I'd fallen asleep. I should be alone but I wasn't.

For a split second, I wondered just how much danger I was in. I took a careful breath and caught a scent on the air, one that was familiar and distinct, one that I would know anywhere. And I knew in deep.

"I know you're awake, Aric."

"K'agan."

Opening my eyes, green met blue. K'agan was sitting in the chair next to my bed. Stress lines marred her forehead and crinkled the corners of her grief filled eyes. She had dark circles underneath her eyes from lack of sleep and it looked like she lost a couple of kilos from not eating. She was so worried about me that she was not taking care of herself and it was wearing on her.

But gods, she was still beautiful. Her deep blue eyes were the color of the sky on a perfect cloudless day, her breasts were round and full and fit perfectly in my hands, and she had long luscious legs that she'd wrap around my waist. She was perfect and she was mine. Or she had been. Gods, I was so fracking stupid!

"I've come back to talk and this time you're going to listen."

"K'agan," I started.

"No," she cut me off, her eyes filled with fire, "You're going to listen to me."

"K'agan…,"

"No Aric, you're going to listen to me," she said, her eyes turning a cold glacial blue. "A new friend reminded me that I needed to fight for what I wanted and like it or not, you're going to listen to me."

A dark, foreboding look passed over K'agan's face. She sat up straight in her chair, a light flashed in her eyes before they narrowed to slits, and her lips became a hard straight line. I'd seen that look before; it was usually my cue to get out of her way because someone had made her angry. I'd only rarely had it directed at me, but unfortunately this time I was the target of her ire. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor, I stayed quiet and let my mate talk.

"The Gauntlet," she started but stood up abruptly and started pacing around the room. "Making it back to the rally point and finding you," this time her voice broke. Glancing my way, I couldn't miss the tears filling K'agan's eyes. "When we came around the corner and I saw you lying on the ground, Elara leaning over you, I thought," she stopped and shook her head, not finishing the thought.

"What?" I nearly whispered, "What did you think?"

A tear streaked down her cheek as she answered, "Just for a moment I thought you were dead."

"K'agan," I started, wanting to comfort her somehow, but she shook her head and started pacing again.

"No, let me finish. I need to say it and if I stop I won't be able to."

Closing my eyes for a moment, I nodded my acceptance. If it was hard for her to say, I imagined it would be just as bad for me to hear.

"But I couldn't break down, couldn't show just how much I hurt. I had a mission to finish and our crew to protect. I'd fall apart later."

I'd seen her use this coping method in the past. On a mission, when we saw something horrific or we had a difficult situation, she'd put aside her feelings and get the job done. Later, when we were back at the ship safe and sound, she'd allow herself to feel everything she'd pushed aside earlier. Sometimes the emotions came out as tears in her quarters and other times the punching bag in the gym took the brunt of her pain. She once told me releasing the pent up frustrations kept her sane in this war.

"Luckily Elara got you stabilized and we made it back to the ship," K'agan continued her explanation, "We got off the Gauntlet and Tanno set off the explosives, blowing it to hell."

I tried to speak but K'agan stopped me shaking her head, "Let me finish this or I won't get it out."

Understanding, I just rested back against the bed and watched her carefully, waiting for her to continue. I wouldn't rush her. I'd done enough damage already.

"I wanted to go directly to the med bay, but I knew I wouldn't want to leave once I got there, so I went to my quarters, showered and changed." I could understand the sentiment. If our places were reversed and she was injured, wild banthas couldn't drag me from her side. I was pulled from that horrific thought when she drew in a shaky breath and continued, "I don't think Elara and Yuun noticed me when I first walked in. It was utter chaos. There were alarms sounding and lights. What was left of your armor was piled up in a corner. The worst though was the sound of your heartbeat," she sucked in a sob. "Even I could tell it was failing."

"K'agan," I tried, reaching out to her, wanting to offer her some comfort.

Staring at the wall, she never noticed my hand. Instead she wrapped her arms around her midsection, seemingly lost in her memories. Finally her voice broke the silence, a tear streaking down her cheek. "I broke when your heart stopped."

"Frack," I whispered, my heart breaking for my mate.

"My world shattered and I didn't think I could put the pieces back together if I lost you."

"But you didn't lose me," I tried to reassure her, reaching out for her again. "I'm here."

A bitter sounding laugh bubbled out of K'agan as she stepped out of my reach. "Didn't I?" she questioned me.

Gods! I was an idiot! I'd made a mess of things and hurt the one person I cared most about. I needed to fix this now. "Please... K'agan... please listen to me."

"Why Aric? I think you said it all this morning."

"Because I lied."

"What?" K'agan asked, eyes a lit with fire.

"I lied," I whispered, looking down at the bed unable to meet her eyes.

"Why?" A pleading note in her voice made me look up. Her blue eyes nearly broke me. I could see the pain I'd caused her reflected there. "Why would you do that, Aric?"

"Ra ii mr'ho'ri Ra iimr'ho'ri." Frowning, she gave me a wry look that demanded more of an explanation. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly before diving into the deep end. "It's just.. It was so much all at once. I woke up in this bed and I couldn't feel my legs." I dragged a shaking hand over my scalp before continuing, "And then you were telling me I was your mate and it didn't seem fair." (Translation in Cathar: I'm an idiot)

"What? Fair?" K'agan asked, puzzled. She took a hesitant step closer to the bed.

"It didn't seem fair to saddle you with a broken man, so I pushed you away; hoping if I denied the truth you could find someone worthy of you."

"Gods, Aric," she huffed out, taking the last few steps to the side of the bed. "You almost got your wish."

"What!" I demanded, looking up sharply, our eyes locking. It felt like my heart pounding out of my chest. How could she have met someone so soon?

"Lucky for you, he sent me back here." she said, one corner of her mouth turning up in a tiny smile.

My breath whooshed out of me and I sank back into the bed. I'd nearly lost her. Frack! I needed to fix this now. "K'agan," I beckoned, holding out my hand again and this time she took it. Wrapping our fingers together, I pulled her down and she sat down next to me on the bed. Looking into her beautiful blue eyes and said, "I love you."

"I love you too."

I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb, I continued, "And I've known for a while or at least I think I have."

"Known what?" she asked, as she met my gaze.

"That you're the only woman for me," I whispered, "You're my life mate."

"Oh, Aric!" she said, tears filling her eyes. For just a moment all of her love for me was written clearly on her face. With the pad of a finger, she wiped away a stray tear, her face hardening before she asked, "Then why did you say those things? Why did you hurt me?"

"I'm broken."

"You're not," she denied, shaking her head. "You're injured, true, but that doesn't mean you're broken."

"My legs don't work, K'agan," I argued, thumping my fist against one of them. "They may never work again."

"So? You're here, you're alive and after watching you almost die… I'll take you anyway I can have you," she said, unknowingly echoing her sister's earlier words.

"I won't be able to have your back on missions," I warned her.

"And?" K'agan asked, clearly not understanding the problem or truly not caring.

"Since Ord Mantell I've had you're back, it's who we are, it's what we do," repeating the argument I'd had with K'eegan. "What's left if I can't keep up?"

Anger flashed in her eyes, her back stiffened and she nearly jumped off the bed before she said, "Everything's left you nerf herder! That's not why I love you."

"Why?" I couldn't resist asking, "Why do you love me?"

"Because you're a stubborn idiot," she snarked back with a grin Cupping my cheek, she continued, "Even after your demotion you supported me, mentored me and taught me to be the best commander I could be. I can trust you to always be there for me, to be the shoulder I lean on, and the person I can always trust to tell me the truth." Smiling, she met my eyes so I could see the truth of what she was saying. "You're my best friend. If you never walk again, that's fine. If you want to stay in the military, we'll find a way to make that happen. If you want to leave, start a new life somewhere else, we can do that too. I'll always be by your side, where ever that leads. Just don't push me away. It would break me."

"Gods K'agan," I whispered, leaning into her touch. "I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

"I already have."

Reaching out, I gently grasped the back of her neck and pulled her to me. Stretching out next to me on the bed, she snuggled into my body and pressed her face into the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around her and tried to pull her even closer. After a few moments, I could feel her tears dampening my fur. I held her tight as she cried, offering what comfort I could. After a time, the tears slowly tapered off.

"I love you," I told her again.

"I love you," she nearly yawned.

"Stay."

"I can't," she tried to argue.

"You're tired and the bed is big enough," I said. She looked ready to continue the argument, so I pulled out the big gun. "For me, I don't want you to go."

"For you," she capitulated as she got comfortable on the bed, resting her head on my shoulder. A few moments later, her breathing evened out and she drifted to sleep.

"No," I whispered, lightly kissing her brow. "I'd do anything for you."

Closing my eyes, I let the feel of K'agan next to me lull me into slumber….

TBC….


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, again sorry this took a while to get out here. I've been trying to focus on my original story and I've been fighting a total lack of writing ambition. Just ugh. Anyway maybe this will help break my dry spell. Fingers cross that you enjoy it. Thank you to Jediserenity82 for her awesome help beta'ing this! You rock!

_K'agan's POV_

"Mmmm," I moaned and burrowed under the covers. I was comfy, warm, and safe. I had felt this relaxed since before the Gauntlet and…..Aric!

'Oh gods,' I thought as everything slowly trickled back into my consciousness. He…. my life mate…bleeding out… dying in front of me. Sounds and images filled my sleep dulled mind. First, was the image of Elara kneeling in a pool of Aric's blood while she fought to save his life. Next, I could see Aric's destroyed armor piled in the corner with blood soaked bandages littering the floor of the medical bay on the Thundercap. My brain saved the worst for last, making me cry. The sights and sounds were burned into my very soul, Aric's body arching off the bed as Elara tried to restart his heart and the flat tone of the monitor filling the small area.

"Shhhh," a voice whispered in my ear and a hand gently stroked my hair. "I'm here, you're safe. It's okay."

I didn't need to be fully wake to recognize that voice. I'd know him any place or any time, awake or asleep. He was my safe place, my heart and the other half of my very soul. My body immediately relaxed as the tension and worry drained from me. I unconsciously snuggled closer to the heat of his body next to mine, burrowing my face into his neck and purring contentedly as I drifted in and out. When the door to the room opened later, knowing it was probably a doctor or a nurse, I didn't bother to move. I was going to enjoy every moment of this.

"She's here, Captain." Corso said. "I'll let her know," he finished and I heard a communicator click off.

"Quiet," Aric growled, as he gently rubbed my back. "Don't want to wake her up."

"Sorry," Corso replied, his voice dropping to just below a whisper. "K'eegan's been worried," I heard him take a few steps into the room and drop into the chair next to the bed, "after yesterday."

"I was an idiot," Aric sighed as he pressed a kiss against my braids. "Not sure what the hells I was thinking. I couldn't live without her."

"You weren't."

"I definitely wasn't," Aric agreed distractedly. "It was all so much — waking up in this bed, not being able to feel my legs... I just didn't want to saddle her with a broken man."

"You're not broken," I said fiercely before Corso could comment. Opening my eyes I glared up at my mate.

"K'agan," he started, sounding as if he were getting ready to argue with me again.

"No," I interrupted him with a sad smile. "Injured, hurt, or maybe damaged but never broken." He returned my smile as my eyes filled with unshed tears, "And it doesn't matter to me as long as we're together. I love you."

"I love you, too," he immediately answered, eyes still locked on mine.

I hadn't heard the door open or someone enter the room when our moment was broken up by, "Yeah, yeah, yeah… break it up you two."

"K'eegan," I warily greeted my twin. I sat up straighter, preparing for the lecture that I knew was incoming.

"And next time consider holo'ing, when you don't plan on coming home," K'eegan continued irritably, "that way maybe your family won't worry about you."

"K'eegan, I'm sorry," I pleaded with my sister, "Yesterday was just so…overwhelming. And after we talked it out, it was late and I was tired. I didn't even think."

"And that's the only reason you're forgiven, little sister," she replied, returning my gaze, her eyes a little hard and filled with worry. Unable to stay angry with me, she gave me a small smile. "But pull a disappearing act like that again, and I'll kick your ass!"

"You could try," I nearly laughed.

"Pfft," K'eegan said in clear dismissal as she stepped closer and dropped a bag in my lap. "Big bad trooper or not, you're still my twin and I know all your weaknesses!"

"And I know yours," I returned with a smirk, "Best to remember that." Honestly, neither of us wanted our deep, dark sisterly secrets shared with our respective guys. Hopefully, she'd remember that too.

Raising an eyebrow K'eegan asked, "Truce?"

"Truce," I readily agreed.

"Now go get cleaned up," she said, motioning to the bag she'd dropped in my lap while simultaneously producing another, "While you get ready, I'll get the food out."

My stomach growled in response, making everyone laugh. I blushed and mumbled, "Can't help it, been awhile since I ate." I hadn't realized just how long it had been or how hungry I was until I smelled the food my sister brought with her.

Nudging me gently with his shoulder, Aric encouraged, "Hurry back or we'll eat it all."

"I'm going, I'm going," I answered, swinging my legs out of the bed, standing up. Grabbing my bag, I headed for the bathroom.

"I brought you something special, Aric." K'eegan said to my mate, "Spoke to the doc first and cleared everything with him. I followed his directives and kept it simple, but I figured you'd like something from home."

Shaking my head, I let the door close before slipping out of my clothes. I left them in a pile on the floor before turning on the hot water and slipping into the small shower stall. Standing under the water, I allowed it to wash some of my problems away, across my shoulders, down my back and legs, and into the drain. I felt it wash away some of the stress and worry I'd been carrying with me since this whole mess started. I was with Aric, where I belonged. And that was all that mattered. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly and afterward started my ablutions. If I didn't hurry up, by the time I was ready the food would be gone. No way did I want to miss out on K'eegan's cooking.

While I couldn't boil water without burning the apartment down, my twin was a talented chef. She was incredibly gifted and passionate about food. She could have easily been a five star, awarding winning chef in any restaurant in the galaxy. She would have made any restaurant and herself rich. K'eegan claimed that earning a living cooking for strangers would have killed her passion for th art. She preferred showing off for those that she loved because they'd appreciated everything she put into the food she created. And if I didn't hurry up, I ran the risk of missing it!

Stepping out of the shower, I found a towel on the rack above the toilet, and dried off. Inside my bag, I found all the necessary clothes, sports bra, panties, a gray long sleeved shirt, a soft pair of dark blue lounge pants, socks, and running shoes. Once fully dressed, I glanced in the mirror. Not much left. My braids were low maintenance, and I didn't want to bother with make-up. I brushed my teeth, sprayed myself with perfume, before throwing everything back in the bag. Throwing it over my shoulder, I took a deep breath and opened the door. "Any left for me?" I asked, as I moved back to Aric's bedside.

Patting the spot next to him on the bed, Aric answered, "I saved you some."

"Thanks," I said, sitting down on the bed and resting my head on Aric's shoulder. Looking at my sister I asked, "What did you bring?"

"I saved you," stressed K'eegan , giving Aric a dirty look before pulling a covered bowl out a large bag. "Bantha steak soup, stewed fruits, and some fresh blue milk." After taking off the lid, she handed it to me along with a spoon.

"Thanks," I said, carefully taking the bowl. The heat of it warmed my hands as the scrumptious smell of the soup wafted up and surrounded me, making my mouth water in anticipation. I knew it would taste as delicious as it smelled.

Grasping the spoon I dipped it into the liquid, scooping it up and taking a bite. The flavors seemed to explode in my mouth and I savored the taste, the thinly sliced vegetables, the delectable meat, and the scrumptious broth. It all combined to create a one of a kind, flavorful taste experience.

"K'eegan, this is delicious," I praised, after swallowing my first spoonful.

"It really is," Aric agreed, "Thanks for doing all of this."

"You're welcome," my twin answered, as she sat down in a chair at the side of the bed next to Corso. She had her own bowl in her hands. "You've been through so much, I wanted to make you something special."

"Even after everything that happened yesterday?" Aric raised an eyebrow.

"Especially after everything that happened," K'eegan answered his question, putting empathizes on the first word. "I knew you'd come to your senses and no way could K'agan stay angry with you. You're destined for each other."

"K'eegan, I don't know what to say," I smiled at my sister as I leaned into my mate. "You've done so much for us," I trailed off.

"You'd do it for me," she replied without hesitation.

"I would," I easily agreed.

"We would," Aric corrected me with a nudge.

"We would," I amended, leaning into him slightly.

"Now eat up," K'eegan said motioning to our bowls.

"Yes ma'am," I answered, dipping my spoon into the soup. For the next few minutes the only thing heard in the room was the sound of utensils scraping against bowls and the contented noises everyone made as we ate. After I finished the soup, I picked up the second bowl of fruits, taking a tentative first bite. The sweet tanginess of the fruit was a perfect contrast to the saltiness of the stew. "This is delicious K'eegan," I said around a mouthful of food.

"It is," Corso agreed, after finishing off his share of fruit. He put his bowls back into one of the bags on the floor, before he wrapped an arm around my twin and pressed a kiss to her temple. He whispered something into her ear, making K'eegan bite her lip and smile.

Before I could tease my sister, the door opened again and a voice asked, "What smells so good in here?"

"K'eegan cooked," I answered as Doctor Jeffre and Elara came into the room. "Would you like some?"

"It was prepared to the doctor's exacting standards," my twin added.

"It smells delicious," Elara said as she stood next to the doctor, a slight blush tinging her cheeks. "But no thank you. Jayd took me to lunch."

"Elara," K'eegan started with a smile.

"That's wonderful," I finished.

"Tell us all about it," K'eegan said, motioning for the other woman to sit down next to her.

"I ummmm," Elara fumbled for words and her blush darkened. The shy Imperial woman had no idea what to say to my forward twin.

Clearing his throat, Jayd quickly changed the subject. "Maybe we should get down to business."

"Yes," I said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

Draping an arm around my shoulders, Aric pulled me into his side. I gently snuggled into him, mindful of his healing wounds. I reveled in the heat of him next to me. So much could change in the next few minutes, our futures and our careers. The only thing that was certain was my love for this man and my place at his side. Nothing Jayd could say would change that, absolutely nothing.

"We're just waiting for K'addes and Kira," K'eegan informed the doctor as she held Corso's hand.

Before Jayd could answer, the door once more to reveal the couple in question. Kira greeted the room with a warm smile, "Did someone say our names?"

"We were just waiting for you before we begin," the doctor answered with a serious look. Not wasting time he added, "Let's have a seat."

"Sorry to keep everyone waiting," Kira sat down next to K'eegan, and K'addes dropped into the chair next to her, "we had some business at the Temple this morning."

"You didn't," I reassured her. "Jayd and Elara only just got here."

For a long moment, no one spoke and the tension in the room grew almost unbearable. I wanted to know, needed to know if Aric would ever walk again but I couldn't form the words. I was terrified of the answer, the uncertainty. What would we do? So much of who Aric was, was tied up in being a soldier. It was all he knew, all he'd done in his adult life. And if that was gone? What then?

After pressing a kiss to the top of my head, Aric held me tightly as he asked the question the room was avoiding. "What's the verdict, Doc? Will I walk again or not?"

Clicking a few buttons on the datapad he'd carried in with him, Jayd seemed to avoid everyone's gaze for a moment, before he finally looked up at us, his face solemn. "Aric, I'm sorry. With the severity of your injuries, the likelihood of you ever regaining mobility in your lower extremities is minimal at best." The rest of the doctor's explanation was lost to the buzz in my head.

The blow was almost physical. I could feel Aric's muscles tense underneath me and he flinched, before the shock drove the air from his lungs in a loud whoosh. I felt a rush of fear for my mate when his lack of breathing set off a few alarms.

"Easy sir," Elara ordered, as she stepped closer to the bed and laid a hand on the blankets covering his legs. "Take a breath, in and out."

"For me," I whispered, gently stroking his cheek with the tips of my fingers. " When Aric's green eyes met mine, I could see all the pain and fear he was feeling and the tears he'd never shed. "Please."

Closing his eyes, his body relaxed under my touch until his lungs finally dragged in a ragged breath. A second and third soon followed, silencing the alarms. As his breathing finally even out, he mumbled, "For you."

"Oh Aric," I breathed, burying my face in his neck as my tears started anew. I was overwhelmed. In my heart I knew this would be the answer but I hadn't wanted to hear it, hadn't wanted to give up the hope that my mate would walk again. "I love you."

Running my back, Aric pressed his cheek against my braids. "I love you, too."

"You aren't in this alone," K'eegan said.

"We're in it with you," K'addes agreed from the opposite side of the bed.

I knew my family had our backs, but it was still good to hear. This was all just too much. I just couldn't, not at the moment.

"We appreciate everything," I could feel Aric rumble, his voice rough with emotions, "But could we have some time alone?"

"Sure," Doctor Jeffre readily agreed. "Take all the time you need."

"We'll be in the hall if you need anything," K'eegan added as I heard her stand. Leaning in she rubbed my back, she whispered, "Anything at all. Love ya." I heard footsteps, the door opening and then we were finally alone.

We sat, wrapped up together on the bed as I cried silent tears for everything Aric had lost…. for everything we'd lost. This changed our lives, our futures. Those couple of words had just altered our whole world. It was just so overwhelming. I was in state of shock, unable to feel or think past this moment. The only certainty I had left, was that we would figure it out together.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, tangled together, comforting each other. Eventually I found the strength to lean back against the bed, my side still pressed against Aric's. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, I tried to pull myself together, and reign in my thoughts and emotions.

"This is it," Aric's voice broke the silence.

"What?" I asked, turning so I could look at him.

Staring at me, his green eyes locked on me, seemingly searching for something until he elaborated. "This is it. If you have any second thoughts about tying yourself to broken man, this is your chance to change your mind."

I sat dumbstruck on the bed, before I got angry with him. "Never!" I declared fiercely as I glared daggers at him, willing him to see exactly what I felt. "This changes nothing!"

"It changes everything, K'agan!" Aric argued just as viciously. Slapping his legs, he added, "I can't feel my legs!"

"And?" I asked, truly puzzled. Why couldn't he understand that it was him I loved, and his inability to walk would never change that?

Sighing, he leaned his head back against the bed and glared up at the ceiling. "It means I'll never walk again. I can't have your back K'agan," he explained, his voice strained. "It changes our whole lives."

"It doesn't change the most important thing."

Turning his head to look at me he asked, "What's that?"

"My love for you," I said with a small smile.

"I love you, too," he huffed out.

"You're my life mate, the love of my life and that won't ever change."

"K'agan," he started, "I…"

"I'm in it for the long haul," I interrupted him.

"Positive?"

"Yes!" I said, getting exasperated, "You stubborn," I stumbled, looking for the words, "Nerf herder!"

Aric started at me until his face finally broke into the smile I so loved. "Nerf herder? That the best you could come up with."

"Aric," I warned, rolling my eyes and making him laugh.

"Nerf herder it is," he laughed. Using just a finger he turned my head, so I was looking at him. "I love you forever, madly and deeply."

"Ditto," I said, reaching up and wrapping a hand gently around the back of his neck and pressing our lips together in a gentle kiss.

We were both breathless when we broke apart. "Ditto?"

"Forget it. Just kiss me," I ordered, pulling him back to me.

"Yes ma'am," he mumbled, kissing me. I savored the feel of him, the taste of him. Determined to enjoy this moment, I threw myself into the flames and deepened the kiss...

TBC

**_A/N: Hope everyone enjoyed it! Reviews and comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks!_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Review please!


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